About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, October 5, 2012

FAT FRIDAY CAUSE THERE'S NO POST TOMORROW - 10/5/12


Now THIS is a beer drinker.....

This was my wife when Obama won...

I'm not sure how to tell my wife that it sort of breaks the mood when she starts picking blackheads on my forehead during sex.



Why does one season (Fall/Autumn) have two names and the others have only one name?


 Oh, yeah, god. The guy that came up with Divine Right of Kings.

There is so much wrong with this...

Do not try this at home....

I don't trust anyone with a two letter last name.



How are the world records for the largest potato and the largest french fry held by two different people?



"Toddlers and Tiaras" is both the prequel and sequel to 16 and pregnant.



No insurance? No problem.....



There is no cool way to run with a backpack on.



The best place to break up with your girlfriend is in McDonald's. There are no sharp knives or forks, no heavy plates, and you can always hide behind a fat kid.




I'll bet there are people out there who are afraid of pop-up books....

The difference between being hungry and horny is where you put the cucumber.



Shoot boy, I ain't no racist. I've got four black tires and a colored TV.


I'm told the scale is correct....

I know this will work. And I think it's a good thing....

The optimist invents the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.



Girls complain about guys "using" them for sex, but sex is awesome! They should start bitching when guys use them for something like human shields.



Said to be true:
In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
Also, there is a town named Dick Lick Springs in Arkansas.




Just when I thought they had invented the ugliest shoe ever.....


This is what I look like when I find out nobody brought a deck of cards to the poker game....

1K....


 (please don't try to tell me about unleavened bread)

Fuck these degenerate bastards....

Sometimes I watch my dog smelling another dog's ass and wonder if he smells any cancer.



These dogs are in the process of deciding if you are a threat to their master. I hope you pass their threat test, because they will try their best to kill you...

This is why we have emergency rooms...







What happens at Grandma's, stays at Grandma's....


Never boring....

This mouse is microseconds from death.
By tripping the trap, he set off the camera....



I had to look at this twice to get it.....



I would be an interesting math problem to figure out if their shit would hit the ground before their body does....

Don't know the scale on this, but by the look of the concrete it looks pretty big....

My wife has taken up tennis....

I'm torn about liking and hating this....


10,000 words.....or more....

Drunks and toilets...a dangerous mix...

Spy storage in hollowed out coin......

The Grand Lady being unwrapped after taken out of storage after WWII....

Nailed it!

This is what my wife looks like when I make a mistake and ask her what I can do to make it up to her....

Remember how environmentalists used to be concerned about the roads lumber companies cut through the forrest to get their logs out? Well, those same roads allow firefighters to get in to stop the inferno.
But those same environmentalists have no problem with this.....


This is what I see written on the back of EVERY very well dressed person....and you know what very well means....

Do you know how old this design for footwear is?
A revisit to one of my favorite photos...

A job fair in China.....



If his name isn't Tyrone, I will kiss your ass...


Planet Earth.....I mean, damn girl!

Storm deposited garbage in South Korea....

Same storm, South Korean troops searching for land mines that may have washed ashore after storm.....

From one block of wood...........DAMN!

BILF.....

2G, 1C.......

It looks like they photoshopped out the dick....



Not only did Ikea photoshop OUT all the women out of their catalogue in Saudi Arabia.....
 But they photoshopped IN socks on bare feet....

Not sure if math is right on this, but still something to think about...

I posit that there is a direct correlation between black holes and the big bang. Further, when a black hole gets "full", it simply explodes and creates another universe.
And this has been going on forever and will continue to go on forever.



Studies show that sugar does not make your child go nuts...

Imagine if, instead of foam fingers or vuvuzelas, sports fans used vibrating dildos to cheer their team on, and, when a team scores, everyone turns their vibrators on, and a buzzing noise resounds through the stadium.



Yes......yes it was hard as nails....

Look at the reflection....

"Wake the fuck up!"

Yeah, this is me about every time I go to the dentist...


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the fat post today. It was a three shitter.

Scott

Anonymous said...

служение Богу aврaaмa.
любовников или же, нaконец, тому, что были детьми покинуты и зaброшены
"Я исповедовaлaсь и приобщaлaсь перед Пaсхой в течение семи лет, не
или бедность. Мысль об aборте кaжется вполне естественной: к чему
1851-1855 гг.1875-1880 гг.





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