About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, October 26, 2012

FRIDAY 10/26/12




What a prick...

I drink to drown the idiocy.
Unfortunately, it learned to swim.



Guys, do not try to masturbate after cutting hot peppers.


I think the wires are to fire off small special effects blasts...

If there ever was a miracle, it would be a woman's ability to grow another human inside her body....

I take great pride that I taught every 4th grader I taught that about 1/3 of the iris was under the lid. Rather difficult concept that....

Back in my day, bathrooms were used for taking a shit, not for taking pictures.




This is the grand-daughter of a friend of mine. She was just asked to join a very prestigious dance company...

This is the guy in the movie creature costume...


From alert reader, Scott:
Doing my best to make sure my wife doesn't burn down the new kitchen like she did the last one.
Halon, with a direct trigger to the fire department.

How's that rash coming along?

Haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I didn't want to intrrupt her.





I have no idea what this means, I just love Mr. Ed...


The Pro Bowl is THE stupidest "sporting" event...



Old and new overlap....


Here are two family photos that are just fucking weird...

TRUE: I drove by a woman taking a power walk. She had her headphones on and was just singing up a storm. It started my day off on a positive note.



This looks familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it...

In front of anti-gay rally...
And most of those old farts look like they are sucking dicks.

This was so very much not intended...

Before I die I just want to see the Dalai Lama in pants...just once.....and maybe clown shoes.



Fucking unbelieveable.....

This is the first time I've ever been old.
It just sort of crept up on me.
There were signs:
random hair growth in places you wouldn't suspect; turning your left turn signal on in the morning and leaving it on all day; and driving into the wrong end of the car wash.



And their relatives from the same gene pool are winning...

Always vigilant...
Well, not always....

Well, this day was a complete waste of hygiene.



????
I don't like to be picky, but if everything is possible, the utopia is possible also.

Ten bonus points for knowing what this girls mother does for a living....

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.



This comment left on my blog. Sent to most trusted advisor and she translated.....
 That's why she's my most trusted advisor.

How wonderful. That Knight is one bad motherfucking bullet.....seriously....


TRUE: The whole ignition system for our astronaut's return craft from the moon's surface was made up of two moving parts. Two valves that released two liquids that self ignited when they touched.



I almost always wave at security cameras.



Just another reason I will never wear my cap backwards....

You know that embarrassing feeling when you look through the crack of a bathroom stall and make eye contact?



Well, that looks like.............................fun...........

I've been so stressed recently that I've been doing that Chinese thing with the needles. You know....heroin.



Here at Folio Olio, serious humor is our only goal....

I got gas today for $1.39!
Too bad it was from Taco Bell.



Nothing funny here, just remember seeing similar ads in some of my magazines as a kid....

Can you imagine the first time your dog goes to lick his balls and realizes that he doesn't have any.


I posted this before I found out it was all done with green screen and, of course, fake.

I want you to know that someone out there cares.
Not me, but someone.



There goes that football scholarship....

Can we assume this is a pedestrian walk?


If you saw anything other than two heads...it's okay...


Let's just look at three words, shall we: Idiot. Kenia. There.


Window cleaners at the children's hospital...



Ouch!


The very first smart phone....

Some Star Trek facts you may not know...

What to do with all those used doorknobs....



How to know you live in a really, really bad neighborhood...

Whatever blows your skirt up...


All of these tools actually work....


This is what he looked like when informed that he had just been promoted to head of Al Quida....

Anything odd here, people?

Speaking of smoking...




Ha! This is the way I should have sent that kid's rabbit back to him!!!!

This is made of one of the hardest stones known to man...





You really need to look at this again. Why do we citizens put up with this stupidity?



When life gives you lemonade, make lemons.
Life will be all like "WTF?!?"



Easy, but rather clever, costume...



6 comments:

Anonymous said...

your sculpture photo reminded me of something I saw while in Italy visiting the Borghese Gallery...Pauline Bonaparte reclining on a mattress sculpted in marble.
http://www.galleriaborghese.it/borghese/en/epaolinab.htm
Amazing how "light and fluffy" the marble was made to look.
Bruce

Jambe said...

The hardest stones are umpteen orders of magnitude harder than marble. Also, the marbles worked by Bernini and his contemporaries weren't even the hardest (most metamorphosed) marbles! Granite isn't close to being the hardest stone, either, but it's much harder than marble.

Still, sculpting in marble by hand is a laborious process. Beautiful sweat, etc.

Ralph Henry said...

"One of the hardest" covers a lot of real estate, old friend.

Daniel said...

The elevator floor was actually done with flat screen monitors and not a green screen. Here's the video. It's definitely worth a watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeXMxuNNlE8

I'd also like to say that in Dostoevsky’s famous novel The Brothers Karamazov, Ivan Karamazov famously insisted that without God, everything is permitted. This, of course, is simply untrue. Morality is not dependent on the existence of God, and centuries of nontheistic ethical philosophy, from deontology to utilitarianism, has demonstrated this fact. Indeed, contrary to Ivan Karamazov, it is instead true that with God, everything is permitted. Because human beings do not have access to the thoughts of their deities, their religious moral systems frequently conflict with and contradict each other. This has been demonstrated empirically over and over again, as people have at once justified slavery and the abolishment of slavery on religious grounds; they’ve justified indiscriminant killing and the turning of the other cheek on religious grounds; and they’ve justified terrorism and nonviolence for religious reasons. Even worse, the nature of religious faith, or what amounts to beliefs held to be absolutely certain in the absence of any evidence, allows for the justification of any belief whatsoever. With faith, everything is permitted.

Ralph Henry said...

Very, very well put, sir. Much appreciated.

Ralph Henry said...

Very, very well put, sir. Much appreciated.

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