About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

THURSDAY 10/25/12




So stuck are we that ours is the greatest country that has ever been, be don't want to know who is pulling the strings behind the curtain....



If god made us in his image - why are we not invisible?



Onions, potatos and now I find out celery can be grown from itself....just bury part of it. I find it interesting that the plants we can easily grow ourselves are the cheapest to buy...



Speaking of policemen...

Painting a mural that included full-sized trees, I used a regular roller that I had cut designs in to make it look just like bark....I used a soldering iron.....
(this is not it)




It's the inside of box wine....


And you thought your fetish was weird....

The day...the muuuuuuusic died......



TRUE: While I was taking a nap the other day, my wife burned some cheese toast in the kitchen. I incorporated the smell into the dream I was having. First to olfactory stimulation has done that....that I can remember.



Zombie army men, now at a store near you just in time for Christmas....the birth of the first "documented" zombie....


I think this is beautiful. Somebody loves this chair more than you will ever love a chair....and he likes it just the way it is...

I think this looks more difficult than it is. It looks like the puzzle has identically shaped pieces....


You had one job, Juan....one fucking job....

I glanced to my left and saw my .45 caliber Judge....true...

A thousand words, people, a thousand words...


Nature....hell, yeah....

Haunted house in the hood...

This is the way I look when I find attractive farm animals in my back seat just begging for it....

Yeah, this is what I think prison would be like...



Man hunts birds with a net....

No.

Albert demonstrating his first string theory....

This is the only month that starts with Oct.



You let your wife ride in the front seat with you just once and she will start thinking she is as good as you.



I hate it when my wife patronizes me in a high-pitched baby voice in my favorite bar in front of my friends....ex-friends.




This is an email I sent my daughter about a Korean movie made in Romania with Romanian actors....a comedy.....

Everyone you fucking meet is better than you at something.



My mother used to tell me that I could just draw a picture of George Washington in the corner of the envelope when I wanted to mail a letter.



Beach sand....go figure....

The guy who invented "Take your child to work day" probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on the way to work.



McDonalds is the largest toy distributor in the world...bigger than Toys R Us and Walmart.



"Granny, have you seen my pills labelled LSD?"
"Fuck your pills, sonny, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?"




Let Monsanto give you a hand....

Yo, bro....

Guy is doing a study of the most viewed pages in old manuscripts. He determines this by the amount of soiling on the lower corner....
Not surprisingly, the pages most read were the ones about NOT going to hell.


When my wife and I were at the beach, we got a call from this kid's dad asking us to look for his rabbit, which he couldn't live without. We found it and mailed it to him. He sent this picture of the happy kid.
 But I have problems. The kid is in the fourth grade....and he STILL can't sleep without his rabbit?!? I was smoking cigarettes and stealing hub caps by the time I was in the fourth grade! Kids these days.




Scientists aren't really sure why we require sleep. According to one researcher with 50 years of experience in the field, "As far as I know, the only reason we need to sleep that is really, really solid is because we get sleepy."
(I want a PhD where he got his)


READING: How people install new software into their brains.


(I have no idea what that means.)


Hard to tell which building is closer...



This Halloween I'm going as a menstral period and I will be late so I can scare the shit out of everybody.



LET ROMNEY GO BANKRUPT
- Detroit




This is what good friends are for....




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