About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, November 2, 2012

ANOTHER FAT FRIDAY POST 11/2/12



A little quiz just for you.
I'm watching the Kansas City Chiefs play football and the announcer said that they have never been ahead in a football game all year. That's remarkable, considering that their record is 6 loses and 1 win.
The question is, how could that be possible?
I'll give you the answer at the end.

As I understand it, the first light bulbs would soot up on the inside and while placing various objects inside the bulb to attract the soot, they ran a very small charge through one and found that it would alter the brightness of the bulb according to the amount of current....and the transister was born...

Einstein is not a dick.



Depressed? Just remember, more than 50% of the population has boobs.




One block of wood....

One of the most important things you can teach your children....


Oh, look, planet earth is conducting a gravity check again...

You have a whole holiday because a lamp stayed lit longer than expected. I say you have set you goals too low....

Bronze door knocker....

I have always been confused about women who fall for advice given to them by people who stand to make money off their dissatisfaction with their appearance....

I remember when rock stars could play an instrument and had musical talent.



He kind of looks like Timothy McVie don't he....

When moving, make sure the tool box is the last thing you load and the first thing you unload.



Looks lik New Jersey is dressing like New Orleans this year.



"Vizie with K-750" is the name of this. Look, I don't know any other way to say it, spray painting your name is not art. It's an embarrassment. Learn to draw or stay the fuck home.

Halloween is the time of year kids get free candy without having to get into somebody's van.



YUGEN: (Japanese) an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.
(The next time I'm asked my religion, I think I'll write Yugenism)



I got a party invitation from an old college friend. It stated: Bring Your Best & Most Illegal Drugs.



The morning after my wife stayed overnight, I asked her how she liked her eggs and she said, "Unfertilized."



Honesty....so refreshing....

I've always wanted to follow some random family around Disney World just to be in the background of all their photos.



I read about a guy who would anger Christians, then ask them to forgive him....and smile.



Crossword Clue: Canon fodder.
__ __ __ __
[ FILM ]




When discussing religion, I've been told a hundred times, "I guess I've always felt that there was something bigger than ourselves."
I say, "No fucking shit! The known universe is 14.5 BILLION LIGHT YEARS ACROSS! How much bigger could it be and not be called 'bigger than ourselves'?"



I agree with this....

Supernormal is a real word, but it looks so wrong when used in a sentence. There was a supernormal pinkness in the epidermis of the cheek.



After WWII, it was deemed cheaper just to dump unused equipment rather than ship them back to US.....

Nothing says slut like a fill in the blank tattoo on your ass...

Have you ever given much thought to naming your penis or vagina after a meal off the McDonald's menu?



This is officially called a cluster fuck...

If I started a religion, I would make something unusual sacred....like....empty Hardee's cups or field goals of 50+ yards...


Why, that gal ain't wearin' no panties...

Another dog stayed with this dog to protect it while it slowly starved....
 But now, all better....
 Some friends just laugh at you when in a jam...

Can you imagine if this was a slide!!

Midget wedding? Optical illusion....

As a Mac owner.....ouch!


AB InBev, a multinational, publicly traded giant corporation that is buying up American (and European, South American and Asian) family owned breweries, cutting them to the bone, lowering the quality of the ingredients used, shutting down breweries that have been running for more than a century, laying off thousands of workers who've given their lives to the companies AB InBev acquired, and changing the recipes to make all the different sorts of beer once on offer taste more or less the same.



This is so depressingly true.
Most screenplay writers are so lazy they just recycle old bits from other movies. Think about it. The huge timer display on bombs; firing a thousand bullets out of one gun without reloading; or no one ever having to use the bathroom.


Shouldn't the goal of any advanced society be 100% unemployment?



The first sentence is not mine. Imagine no one ever being dislocated for hydroelectric projects. Where would we be?
Still sad, though.


Hereitage and tradition are all dead people's baggage.
Stop carrying it.



Napoleon playing pocket billiards...

When you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's probably the reason why people with no sense of humor have an increased sense of self-importance.



Is it normal to hide Skittles under my foreskin and eat them during the movie?



And this only minutes before he was to be killed...



Bitches or not, 99 problems are still a shitload of problems.



I don't know what's more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while sshe stares a me.



Try leaving this note on your door to deter burglars...


Rather unambiguous, this....

This morning my wife asked, "Do you think I'm fat?"
I said, "Oh, is that what we're going to do today, we're going to fight?"



Never seen this before...

Amazing...

This is made of wire...


Let's see what the ladies have to say, shall we...
 Uuuh.....yeah.





This was the woman who was sued by her husband for being ugly before they met. The problem was their son who was so damn ugly he investigated. He won $120,000.



Amen, brother, amen.


Kansas City won a game without being ahead during the game by scoring their last points with no time left on the clock.

NO POST TOMORROW

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Regarding: "The belief that God created the Universe 13.75 billion light years across containing 200 billion galaxies, each of which contains an average of more than 200 billions stars, just so He could have a personal relationship with you."

Because He loves you THAT much. A profoundly beautiful truth, that. Can you comprehend it? After all, what do you have to lose?

Ralph Henry said...

Talking snakes...checkmate.

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