About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

WEDNESDAY #1394


Can we do better? Sure. But let's not rush to some bullshit laws that have no hope of working.


The one thing any gun ban will do, for sure, is make criminals out of people like me.

Let's not lose perspective of what's going on in the world.
Violence is as much a part of the human make up as art or invention.

But let's not forget, Switzerland gives a gun to every man in the country and teaches them how to use it.
Switzerland is not a bloodbath.


NOW FOR THE SILLY PART

Why newsmen seldom turn around...

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.



Interesting headline...

Who coined the phrase "coined the phrase"?


Interesting...

I want to know more about all kinds of things, like the most elementary building blocks of life, outer space, how yogurt is made, death and placemats.



I want this motherfucker on my team...

I am truly impressed...

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.



Girls wearing fake mustaches confuses my penis.



Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.



Just because you have fake tits does not make the rest of you not fat.



I love shit like this...

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing very loudly for all to hear, as often as possible, preferably in crowded public places.


 (one of the world's fastest typists is being held on manslaughter charges after fingering his girlfriend into a coma...but I bet she won't press charges)

It was stated that this is a young Morgan Freeman. I'll let you decide...

Several sites I go to have ads inserted as you view the image. This is a soldier in Afghanistan posted on a site I visit. I didn't have to click on anything before the ad appeared telling me how much the items were and where I could buy them.
 And it didn't matter what the content. If it's a cute puppy sitting on a man's lap while he's on the computer, ads will appear for the dog's collar, the chair, and the computer.

That device looks like a sighting system that won't allow the trigger to fire unless you are on target...

I listened to this - one of four people in the world who did - and it was awful...

The only thing I've learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them.






Word of the day: Dipshidiot.

A person who is both a dipshit and an idiot.


There is so much wrong with this photo...

You think cavemen used to sit around and say shit like:

"I don't know, man, I just think our lives were more authentic before we had fire."

...I actually see nothing wrong with it.

This is a tutorial for slave beating taken straight from the bible, but it's really a screenshot so don't try to play it. I bet there is not one in a thousand Christians who have ever read that part....

Stories like this make me feel all warm and fuzzy...
These people play serious music on instruments made from trash dump items...
And not just strings. They have horns, drums, etc.


Favorite game at our family reunions...

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.


The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.

You had one job! One fucking job...
Take over the world my ass!

Cool Pythagorean Theorem Demo...

This loop hasn't moved in preview. Maybe it will when I publish...if not.....

Sometimes when I laugh really hard I lactate.


Do you see anything....odd....

You know what I would like to see? A movie where 5 college students decide to spend a night in a haunted house and base their decisions on what characters in movies have done wrong. No, "Okay, let's all get some sleep now" after one of your group was decapitated. 
No, "I'm going to go outside and look around" alone.
I mean, they talk about it and say things like, "No, I saw in this or that movie that that is a very bad decision."
And how about this...comprise your group to exclude all stupid people.


Going nowhere.....slowly....

Nazi bomb hits on just part of London


I remember that awkward moment when I had to explain to my daughters that Santa Claus loved rich children more.


She may smile, but her finger is still very near the trigger...

Hey, lady, your horse is falling apart...

It's like the more I drink the drunker I get.



I don't understand interventions. What's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons I drink in the first place.



Attractive people are really just a nice looking arrangement of atoms. I'm like, "Damn you have a great deoxyribonucleic acid arrangement."


You are never too old...

An individual who masturbates to lesbian porn more than twice cannot legally oppose gay marriage.

You don't get to jack off to someone and then deny them equal rights, asshole.
It doesn't work that way.

Stare at this for just a minute....
 Oil on canvas...

It's sad but true, but there are children out there that make women want to OD on birth control.


Robot using human skeleton as framework...

Have you ever been so high that you let the Frosted Flakes get all soggy as shit?



You let me know that you don't like my dog and you and I are done. Got it?



Women do this too?!?!
What do you think she thought it would smell like?

Remember this woman from the Olympics?

Next year Mardi Gras and International Women's Day will fall on the same day. So if a lady lifts her shirt and shows you her breasts, congratulate her on all the social advances women have made.


How to insure you get a seat to yourself...

Can you find the rabbit in this photo...

To protest the Mormon practice of baptizing dead Jews, I've begun circumcising unsuspecting living Mormons.


Let's take another look at the old man and the breathalyzer...

Nicely done...

TRUE: There is a blog called "Is Today Christmas?"
It tells you if it's Christmas or not.



Aren't we all, Phil. Aren't we all....

I have a new 20-minute workout.
I jog to the end of the driveway, then bend over panting and cursing for 19 minutes.
Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.


Well, Scott, the ball is in your court...
That guy must have had a bucket lift.

You think this was designed for this or just thought up?

White ink. Never understood why it not more popular.
I like that.




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