About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

TUESDAY #1393


 These are two of the saddest images I have ever seen...


I've been a real smartass on my comments lately. I'm still dealing with all of this. I've stated many times about how I feel about the innocent. Forgive me for my blathering.

But there is some good news...
 But remember, if you give the government the power from taking away Westboro's freedom of speech, then our freedom of speech could be next.
There is a petition going to the president to urge that Westboro Baptist Church be legally recognized as a hate group. You should do the research on that also.

I think my instinct to avoid giving the government the power to take my guns is because.....well, I don't trust my government....simple as that.


Now let's try and have some fun...

It's another good year to be a Green Bay Packer fan...

A couple of people I don't remember seeing on the same stage...

When the apocalypse comes, I want one of these...

TRUE: Laying in the hospital all those weeks after getting shot in the eye with a BB, all I could think about was how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch...

I just realized today that you can pay a bill with a check or you can pay a check with a bill. Or you can pay a bill with a bill or a check with a check.

And people wonder why I'm always confused.


One of the strangest couples I've ever heard of...

Trying is the first step toward failure.



Do you think monkeys tell each other that they like long brachiations in the moonlight?

(you really need to look that up)
So...ah...America....how was your commute?

Drinking your own blood is the paradigm of recycling.



The child survived. No word on the parents...

Speaking of building fires...
I saw a ladder like this once. It was the only way to reach upper floors during a fire before they invented ladder trucks...the top of the ladder has large hooks that break through the glass and grips on the sill...

Damn, ya'll, she's all wilted and shit...

Why? It's called weeding out the stupid genes...
And we've been doing it for a long, long time.

My wife is such a bad cook that a swarm of flies got together and repaired the screen door.





SOBER:

Son
Of a
Bitch
Everything's
Real


I love this stuff...

Is it true that the average Canadian is now richer than the average American? It's what I was told.



I so wish I could do shit like this. 
I'm absolutely certain that I would be great at Photoshop, but I'm way too lazy to fuck with it.

You MUST stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!!


Or so they said.


This is true. Next, just for fucking laughs, I want them to try to get a cat to do this...just once...please...and film it...
Only one step away....

This is cool as shit. The yellowish part is a soap film. The clear (as in nothing in them) circles are loops of thin thread dropped upon the film...

I thought if would dip my toe in a dating site just in case something happened to my wife...
I guess looking for a rich, nymphomaniac deaf mute who owned a liquor store was aiming just a little too high.

I sometimes have the feeling I can handle crystal meth, but then I think...mmmmm, better not.

(that was a lie)

I had no idea.

I think people get 10 times cuter when they talk about what they're passionate about...unless it's Hitler....then it's only nein times cuter.


TRUE: the fresh scars and oozing gave her away.

Being forced to be Politically Correct offends me.



And we think we will ever catch up with those fuckers?

This mustached puppy is named Inigo Montoya...I mean, DAMN!

There is no number for what just happened in my bathroom.



Every time I read a post about how marijuana kills people...or turns them gay....
Speaking of...
BRAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I taught in this posture for 20 years...

Squint your eyes and it looks like she has a really skinny waist...

When I win an argument with my wife...

If you don't have a favorite football team, then you have a huge hole in your life....that you fill with more than one cat...

Found this on line on the same day...
....I was sent this in an email...
I replied to the email with an inquiry as to why in the name of good taste she sent it to me. The person, who made me swear I would not name her, told me she had just shit a 11 inch flat turd and looked it up to findout if it was indicative to some malady. And, sadly, that is a true story.

One of my very own...

And that last guy is $65,473 in debt that can't even be erased with bankrupcy...

I have a nephew who is a pharmacy professor and he is more concerned about a completely drug resistant bacteria than any other problem we have...

Just a couple of more images to think about...

Upskirting...a beginner's guide...

This is exactly what my face looked like when a man told me a light year was the distance between the earth and the sun...
Speaking of complete bullshit...
This man built a full-sized replica of the Ark...
But it's really a hotel type of thing...

I like this very much.
Did you notice how the above takes your eye for a journey? It's just a thing humans like to experience and good artists are your tour guides over the surface.

OOMVO...

Believe it or not, we Southerners still teach our children to say Yes, Ma'am, No Ma'am.....
But my state does so many things that are totally irrational as to defy explanation...

The most un-PC person In. The. World.....
Retardeds? Is that even a word?

Taste the freedom...

While I was very disappointed and angry to find my young daughter smoking a cigarette, I'll be damned if she didn't look cooler.



I know I'm not 100% rational all the time. I do illogical things. But I am always open for opinions as to why I might be wrong. Look at the chart below and then think of all the different kinds of charger plugs and such for our electronics. You would think they would want it easier for people to switch to their brand, not harder.

If you are an accountant named Clifford and you haven't named your company "Fiscal Cliff", then there's nothing I can do for you.




TRUE: This is a joint rolled on a page out of the bible. It is also a very apropriate verse...

I just cried over a video titled "Cat doesn't even bother to get off the couch, let alone welcome, returning soldier."



What kind of a stupid motherfucker backs toward a railroad track?!?

If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.


 Don't believe it? Check these out...

I want to smoke some of what these guys had...

It's just a thing guys do to freshmen...no harm, no foul...
I hope that clarified it for you.

I got a cat once who told me that he was so depressed that he was thinking about getting a cat.



You know too much about life to have any optimism.



Those are some sneaky bastards....

24? I wonder if it was graded on the curve...

How has the guy who makes Capri Sun straw openings not been up for a job performance review?



My very first drawing class involved drawing very small thing and capturing every detail of it....seeds, screws, buttons, and stuff like that. This looks like one of my exercises...

Question: Do you think this guy stumbled upon this scene or do you think he stalked it like a hunter stalks a tiger along the banks of the headwaters of the Ganges in the fall before the monsoon...with nothing but a knife...?
....a small knife.

I'm actuall considering putting this as the first thing you see on all my posts....

Fuck the car...LOOK AT THAT WALL!!!

Well adorned, she.....

OOMVO...
Amen, lady, amen. And I want some of what you're smoking, too.


2 comments:

Margaret said...

When we were in Costa Rica, there were miles and miles of those caged stone walls. As we got furthur into the rain forest the roads were made up of the rocks. The cages would be cut open and the rocks would pour out. Workers would move them into the low lying area of the road created from flooding.

Anonymous said...

President Garfield could write in Greek and Latin at the same time.

Great post today....the OOMVO's were particularly funny.

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