THURSDAY #1359

Just finished another mockery of our paper currency...

A dollar for a nickel......that's about right.

How could you not like this image...

I'm not much for miracles, but having a live human grow in your body should surely make a woman a true sorcerer. 

 Something I've never thought about before...

You go girl....

Sending 15,000 volts through a plank of wood...

I always smile when I see the people on TV talk about gun control, knowing that they live in a very safe neighborhood, probably with gated security. I would like for them to come to my house, hear the sirens, see the quality of the people walking past my house, read the crime reports. Then I would like for them to say they would feel safe without arms.
And don't you even think about telling me to move. I'm not the problem and do not feel compelled to buckle to thugs.

For a brief second I thought it said a baby cured HIV and I was really disgusted with my new little friend, Max, who's like "duhhh, I can shove the cookie in my mouth myself duhhhhhh."

Of course I know we are borrowing from the Fed, but China makes the best copy.

Yeah, you could do it this way...

I've built dozens of privacy fences and I know how to put in a post.
1 - Use post hole digger to dig about three feet.
2 - Put the post in the hole and add a little soil around the base.
3 - Tamp down with the end of a shovel, plumbing the post as you go.
4 - Fill the hole with Sakrete.
5 - Add water until it overflows the hole. Then let it set.
6 - Drink a beer.

Communicating on the internet 101....

Barrack and his grandfather...

...with a kid in the background assaulting them both with a stick.

Yuri Gagarin as a student...

 One of my very own...

Cool costumes...

OOMVO...

Do want!

I was called lazy today. I almost responded.

I thought this was pretty cute until I saw the conveniently located masturbation station behind the dog.

Helmets. They are good things.

Joke or no...the drive needs his ass kicked.

There is no "i" in happyness.

Okay, some wars were worth fighting...

So we go a week without a pope and we already cured HIV?

This pool table lays out exactly where your ball will go and changes as you move the cue...

Can't imagine it determining the spin you put on the ball, but it's still pretty impressive.

It's 2013, boys, time to enter the 20th century...

 (yes I know that is last century...that's the point)

TRUE: I had heart burn so bad last night I took a Zantac pill chased down with Pepto Bismol.

See anything odd about this?

 It's the same side of the face repeated...perfect symmetry.

Interestingly, there were many famous people subjected to this manipulation, but Jack hardly looks any different.

I wonder if John's get a discount...

When you're single, all you see are couples.
When you're married, all you see are hookers.

Had we been born elsewhere...

TRUE: I read that very few restaurants give their employees paid sick days, resulting in them coming to work sick and then handling your food. Have a nice day.

How Leo DeCaprio's first Oscar win speech will begin...

Nobody would produce his idea for an album live at Folsom Prison, so he produced it himself...

 ...I never did thank him for that.

It would be funny if it weren't so serious.

In the last episode, this prick was told to stay and he stayed......a first...

I want to invent condoms with temporary tattoos on the inside so when you take it off...wah-lah...a dragon.

Ralph Macchio is now the same age Pat Morita was in the Karate Kid. Feel old yet?

DAMN!

Watched a clip today titled "Humans yelling like goats yelling like humans."

A reason to smile...

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
Carbapenem-resistant Enterobacteriaceae: New germ we have no defense against. 50% mortality. CDC's front line of defense....reminding doctors to wash their hands.
Have a nice day.