FOLIO OLIO: MONDAY #1500

NEWSY STUFF...And I've had all weekend to amass quite a collection...

This is what it looked like in Boston, outside a guy's apartment...

This it the guy sticking out the top of the vehicle...

“You don’t rob 7-Elevens if you have a master plan.” – CNN

I heard another reporter talking to a couple who had to evacuate and said, "Sorry you had to get kicked out of your little apartment."

Bitch.

Another report - discussing the old brother's trip to Russia - wondered if he had been "Comradicalized".

Is that a word? Well, it is now.

After looking at the tape, Rachel Maddow said this:

"Wearing baseball caps backwards is so old school it’s not even school anymore." I agree. Black guys no longer even do it.

I've never trusted anyone with two H’s, a Z, D, and an R….in just their first name with only two vowels.

I found it immensely ironic that a Islamic extremist was sent to Beth Israel Hospital.

There were moments of levity, of course...

Smoking...Hell, yeah!

I wonder if that guy got any reward...surely there was an reward offered for information leading to arrest.

This is suspect #1 then...

His namesake...

This is suspect #1 now...

Got run over by his own brother while the police were handcuffing him.

Wait for it......wait for it....

And it didn't even take a week for the internet to have its way...

Boy, it didn't take long for this shit to start...

4/20 is the day it's official...

My wife got better looking as she got older…up to a point.

I named my daughter Suzon after one of Matisse's favorite models...

(this is not he or she - I just like the look on her face)

At least China respects land ownership. In the US we would have condemned the land and just took it...

...for a fucking shopping mall.

This is supposed to be a 100% self sustaining house...

This is a good thing, right........right?

I've never actually understood the prohibition. Why outlaw selling something that is perfectly legal to give away?

This is the hottest thing in Siberia...

As primitive as it may seem, the tusk rush is driven not by ancient callings but by powerful modern forces: the collapse of the Soviet Union and the ensuing frenzy of frontier capitalism, the international ban on trading elephant ivory and the search for alternatives, even the advent of global warming. Rising temperatures helped seal the mammoths’ fate near the end of the last ice age by shrinking and drowning their grassland habitats, leaving herds stranded on the isolated islands where Gorokhov now hunts. Today the thawing and erosion of the mammoth’s permafrost graveyard—and the rush of tusk hunters—are helping bring them back.

This according to a survey...

That tells me that Americans lie on surveys. I do. I mean it. I can't remember the last time I told a survey taker the truth.

An encyclopedia of bad advice...

Here is what the art and design site I used to visit often looks like now. Teenage advice. Bummer...

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

I actually looked this up. Seems Canada has so few illegals here that it statistically doesn't register.

I watched a documentary on the Taj Mahal.

This is a tomb for the guy's wife. It stated: "She died while giving birth to her 14th child. She had been his constant companion."

Does anyone else see the humor in that?

I just muttered, "You think?"

Guess who has taken hundreds of photographs of his foot all over the world...

Okay, I might be stupid enough to try this, but I'll be good goddamn if that camera would ever leave the room...

We were all born dumbassess, but we don't have to stay one for your entire life.

I have been known to walk into an all night dinner at 2am, order a meal like this, and as soon as it was delivered I ordered another just like it. Drinking makes me hungry.

I saw Life of Pi. It was totally different than I thought it would be.

TRUE: Back when I had state insurance from teaching, I used to go to the dermatologist every year - on her orders. Each time she "burned" ten or so things off my face. She got $60 per burn. She spent 15 minutes with me. That's $600 for 15 minutes work.

Now that I've been hooked up with VA, the doctor is on salary and really doesn't have a dog in the fight. My last trip she found nothing to burn off.

Makes you think don't it.

It's 2013, yet 2.5 billion people in the world have no access to a toilet.

I know it was a good day if I didn't hit or bite anyone.

My wife deep throated some soft serve ice cream while making prolonged eye contact with an old man at the park, so, yeah, she knows a little something about community service.

"Oh, my, that tickles."

I wonder if the next planet we destroy will also get its own holiday.

Amazing...

Learn the rules, then break them...

I wonder if sharks would be embarrassed if they knew we can see their fins coming?

A professor of mine once said that it's perfectly okay for your art to match your couch as long as you buy the art first.

(Ya'll might want to write that shit down)

I have no idea why this was even introduced in the movie...

One of my very own...

ESCHEW THE NORM.

And embrace words like 'eschew'.

Ladies, a simple way to reduce shower time this Earth Day is masturbating beforehand.

If I HAD to wear a tie, this would be the tie...

Do you know how embarrassing it is explaining to the ER staff that your injuries happened while trying to reenact a sex scene from Fifty Shades of Grey?