I would like to welcome all you new viewers from Taiwan. You viewers are now second only to my USA crowd.
I welcome each and every one of you.
Too soon?
When I was in high school, I was voted most likely to be caught in a relationship with my teacher.
As I understand it, Easter Island was once a lush place with many fruit trees and such. Add to that the millions of bird eggs and crabs, fish and such ready for the reaping, and you could deduce that the men were bored stiff.
That is the way I explain the statures....boredom avoidance.
Wax sculpture of Robocop ready to cast in bronze.
It is to be placed in Detroit. My over/under for the first bullet hole is 6 months.
Yes, I've been known to walk away from a poker table with less money than when I sat down...
....but not very often.
Who has perfect little toe nails like that?
Most people just want to be happy.
And naked.
Naked is good.
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
If you do this, fuck you...
I have a real affinity for counter-protestors...
"WAS IT A CAR OR A CAT I SAW" reads the same in reverse.
The shaken coke did absolutely nothing when opened in that environment.
On the way home. Cozy ain't it...
Well, he made it back safely...
This said to be true...
Watched a documentary on mules giving birth. This one in Iran was thought a hoax until the DNA tests confirmed it. This is very, very rare, but another gave birth in America and it lived for four years, giving the scientists time to find out how this was possible...
If men had periods they would brag about the size of their tampons.
This is my friend. He is a policeman and is the most caring man I've come across in a long, long time. The story above should never taint your opinion of all policemen...
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Most people laugh harder when they try to explain why they are laughing.
I once had a very rich man tell me that the difference between a rich man and a poor man was that when the shit hits the fan, the rich man is better dressed...
If you accidentally get your phone wet, try leaving it in dry rice overnight. The rice will attract asians who will fix your electronics for you.
But the whole wedding misery seems to be every where...
I hate to say it, but those are some ugly fucking women.
These things are finally ready for the long awaited taste-test. My jury is still out...
This is an Afghan orphan who draws a woman on the pavement, then pretends to sleep with her...
Limos aren't that much fun when you're the only person in them.
If the Curiosity rover doesn't find life on Mars I think we should take the Mythbusters approach and just blow it up anyway.
No such thing as just experiencing the moment...
Then the drama began...
One of my very own...
Thought this a cool line in a movie I watched...
...it reminded me of Django...
I listened to two women arguing over an old song and who sang it and they both had a Smartphone sitting on the bar in front of them.
I had a car catch on fire just like this. It was the middle of the night and my wife (I was out of town) was awakened by a fireman asking her if that was her car. He pointed down the street about a block. And my wife said, "No, my car is right.....", then noticed that her car was not, in fact, in front of the house where she had left it.
It seems that the fire had shorted out the starter, causing it to activate while the car was in gear, resulting in it chugging down the street.
This was voted The Most Confusing Intersection in England...
"HOW GREAT DOW ART."
I understood the .com bubble and the housing bubble. But what the fuck bubble are we end now? The "Corporations Are Hoarding Trillions" bubble? Or the "We Have Scared Every Worker Into Doing Two Jobs And Our Productivity Is Up" bubble?
I just don't get it.
Allow me to take some pressure off your job search by informing you that no one is hiring.
They are tattoos.
I have read that scientists still have no idea why these things have a "horn" like that...
It was shocking to me when I learned that changing the toilet paper roll doesn't cause brain damage.
If every day was your birthday, you'd be dead in two months.
While visiting the graves at Omaha Beach, a bus pulled up disgorged dozens of teenagers. When they walked over and looked at a view similar to this, not a word was spoken. I was proud of them...
AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
Secreted by the hedges from any prying eyes, these stairs were the reason Alma bought the house; necessary for her third murder.
Even though magazines and news reports referred to her as the most unlucky woman in South Carolina, the reality is anything but.
First her husband had drank too much and had drowned in their pool. Alma was not only the only witness, but inherited his estate of 8.1 million dollars. That was the easiest one.
That left Alma with two unwanted step-children; a girl, 4 and a boy, 6.
A year after her husband's demise, Alma had waited in the middle seat of her van with the little girl waiting for the wealthiest man in Lancaster county to leave his country club at precisely 6:15 as was his habit after his daily four gin and tonics.
Alma glanced at her watch - 6:14 - then opened the driver's side sliding door with her remote and unbuckled the child's seat belt. The man had no way of avoiding the child as she sprawled on the asphalt directly in his path.
Alma netted 16.3 million in that settlement.
Two years later, Alma called FedEx for a package pickup. The driver parked in the circular drive in the front as per instructions. When the driver presented himself at her front door, she excused herself to fetch the package. Then she hurriedly sneaked out the back door to the boy's body, having only moments before bludgeoned him to death with his own baseball bat. She carried the body down the stairs, which led directly to the rear of the FedEx truck. Very quietly she lay the boy directly in front of the truck's rear tires, then carefully placed his ball under the truck as the final ruse - the boy had crawled under the truck to fetch his ball and the driver had negligently run over him.
That settlement is pending.
THERE WILL BE A WORDS
ONLY POST TOMORROW
Secreted by the hedges from any prying eyes, these stairs were the reason Alma bought the house; necessary for her third murder.
First her husband had drank too much and had drowned in their pool. Alma was not only the only witness, but inherited his estate of 8.1 million dollars. That was the easiest one.
That left Alma with two unwanted step-children; a girl, 4 and a boy, 6.
A year after her husband's demise, Alma had waited in the middle seat of her van with the little girl waiting for the wealthiest man in Lancaster county to leave his country club at precisely 6:15 as was his habit after his daily four gin and tonics.
Alma glanced at her watch - 6:14 - then opened the driver's side sliding door with her remote and unbuckled the child's seat belt. The man had no way of avoiding the child as she sprawled on the asphalt directly in his path.
Alma netted 16.3 million in that settlement.
Two years later, Alma called FedEx for a package pickup. The driver parked in the circular drive in the front as per instructions. When the driver presented himself at her front door, she excused herself to fetch the package. Then she hurriedly sneaked out the back door to the boy's body, having only moments before bludgeoned him to death with his own baseball bat. She carried the body down the stairs, which led directly to the rear of the FedEx truck. Very quietly she lay the boy directly in front of the truck's rear tires, then carefully placed his ball under the truck as the final ruse - the boy had crawled under the truck to fetch his ball and the driver had negligently run over him.
That settlement is pending.
THERE WILL BE A WORDS
ONLY POST TOMORROW
2 comments:
@hadfieldonEarth is a parody account with some other cute stuff, e.g.:
"Went for a leak late last night while half asleep; accidentally peed in the vacuum cleaner. #fml #spacehabitsdiehard"
hah! On the 15th, the genuine article (@Cmdr_Hadfield) said:
"Return to Gravity, so many things. It is strange to talk and feel the weight of my lips and tongue! Dizzy too - would fail any sobriety test"
Heh. I may've talked about gravity here before but it's neat so why not again:
Hadfield never "returned" to gravity because he never left it. He was always "in" Earth's gravity, otherwise he would've drifted off into space. Furthermore, he's never actually felt gravity itself, only its effects! To elaborate:
At 400 km (the ISS' height) Earth's gravity is ~90% as strong as it is at sea level. Therefore Hadfield still had 90% of his weight onboard the ISS, he simply wasn't feeling it because he (with the ISS) was perpetually falling and thus his body wasn't pushed against by anything (and it's the sensation of being pushed against by e.g. the floor or a chair that we interpret as "feeling weight").
On Earth, the ground (or water or air or whatever) pushes "upwards" against your body in reaction to the "downward" gravitational attraction between your mass and Earth's center of mass. But if you're in orbit, you're 1) beyond most of the atmosphere, so there's negligible friction to slow you down and 2) falling fast enough tangentially to the surface that you never reach it, so there's nothing to push against you.
To illustrate: if we made a tower with a platform as high as the ISS's orbit path, you'd feel 90% of your weight if you stood on top of it. Meanwhile, people on the ISS whizzing past you (at the same exact height) wouldn't feel any of their weight because they were falling and you were not. This bit of a Wikipedia article explains the "orbit is perpetual falling" idea nicely.
This is why "zero gravity" is a misnomer. Astronauts haven't escaped gravity at all and they still have the vast majority of their weight when in orbit – they just can't feel it.
It follows, then, that the "force of gravity" is itself never felt by humans. All we feel are contact forces between our bodies and other physical objects.
To illustrate again: if you feel the surface of a ceiling, you're entirely overcoming the force of gravity in the process, so why don't you go through the ceiling? Because of the electromagnetic forces that exist between your molecules and the ceiling's molecules. In fact, it's the electromagnetic force that allows you to "feel" anything at all, and it keeps "you" shaped like you and a chair shaped like a chair and so on.
Then there's the strong and weak nuclear forces, which with gravity and electromagnetism constitute the fundamental forces of physics (but the nuclear forces are beyond the scope of my rambling here). The point here is that gravity is an action-at-a-distance force; it doesn't require or even work through contact. It if required contact then (again) orbiting objects would just float away from the planet.
Technically speaking electromagnetism isn't a contact force, either - that is to say, when you "touch" a thing, your particles don't actually come into physical contact with the touched object's particles, but rather the electromagnetic forces between the particles repel each other without colliding. But that, too, is a labyrinthine topic in and of itself and would exhaust my rambling quota for this evening.
This page does a good job explaining perceived weight and weightlessness, among other things.
I greatly enjoy this blog.
If I may....
You are in an elevator in free fall. You float around as if weightless, because the floor and you are at the exact same velocity.
Further, in a future post I am going to reenter the fray over scientists being better communicators of their....craft. Normal people (and I consider myself normal) would have loved for Hadfield to explain the 90% gravity concept to me while he was falling with the ISS. Is that too much for me to ask from the people my tax dollars fund?
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