MONDAY #1734

This is Tucker, who hopped into my wife's seat as soon as she got up.

This morning my wife got out of bed before I, so she went looking for Tucker - who sleeps outside to guard my studio. She found him in my office chair, which is a very large office chair. Well, when I went to my office, Tucker looked up at me for a few minutes then walked into my studio and barked a few times. I had never heard him bark so I went to investigate. As soon as I entered the studio, Tucker dashed into my office and into my chair.
Smart dog.
By the way, I built that booth. Nice ain't it? The angles were a bitch.

Photographer: "Okay, put on this leather skirt, put your hair in a bun and go lay on top of that pile of garbage...."

"...now act as if nothing is unusual."
Speaking of garbage...one man's island of greenery...

Girls today are all, "Like OMG! Isn't it embarrassing when you are giving head and you lose a baby tooth?!"

Oh that this could be true?

"Gratrunka" is the Swedish word for "crying while masturbating."
(that's a real tear jerker)

A dot for each individual in the country...

On the original you can zoom in to see the racial make-up of your block.

TEETH: Because blow jobs need to come with a gentle reminder of who's really in charge.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

 Every Career Day at the elementary school where I taught, I would have the kids draw a picture of what they wanted to be when they grew up. I was having particular trouble recognizing one kid's drawing, so I asked what he wanted to be and he said, "A stop sign." I just smiled and told him to go for it.

What if it's not me being old, what if your music really does suck?

I've quit more things than you've started.

I expect nothing and I'm still let down.

If you grill outside, you need one of these...

When my stomach is completely full, but I've left the tenderest part of the T-bone until the last...

There is a cooking spice made out of placenta also...

I find this rather innovative...

Could anyone explain this to me......anyone....

Sleeping late is inversely proportional to the number of surprises you have left.

And his mother must be proud.

If you're an astronaut and you don't end every relationship by saying "Look, I just need some space", then you're wasting everyone's time.

Standing a mere foot from a racetrack...it's called cleansing the gene pool...

 Then there's the lucky motherfucker in blue on the right.

This is not photoshopped...

Neutrinos come in three flavors — electron, muon and tau — which each exist as a mixture of three possible neutrino masses (though the actual value of these masses is currently unknown). Neutrinos may start as one flavor, say electron neutrinos, and then switch into muon or tau neutrinos as they travel through space.

(so, why does this surprise anyone?)



Just the headline...

"Party like it’s $19.99." – Billy Mayes

Watched bank robbery movie called "Flypaper"...laughed my ass off.

I don’t want to be an adult anymore.

Mouse and offspring...

Reminds me of kindergarteners at a museum.

Got an email where the word "aloud" was substituted for "allowed". I found it rather creative...I mean, I knew what they meant.


I know for a fact that females were not consulted about this...

I heard an historian say that face to face shootouts like this never happened in the wild west, or at least reliably recorded. Mostly you just shot your foe in the back or waited for him to walk past the dark alley while you waited for the ambush shot...

Out of all the lies I've told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.

Wow! This changes everything doesn't it?

Have you read about the Austrailian baseball player shot because the shooters were bored? Or the 85 year old guy beaten to death. What do you think would have happened if those two people were black and the attackers were white? Riots?

According to my wife, this is the worse part of traveling back roads...

Relatively speaking, of course.

Imagine you are 100 people and you order a pizza with 100 slices, and when the pizza comes the first guy takes 37 slices. That's our society.

Why aren't these in every restaurant in America?

Viewed a whole collection of famous actors dressed like women for a role...

Then came upon this...

He was not portraying a woman, he was a thinly veiled Ozzie.

Spooky as shit...

This is what happens when you try to "draw" with Elmer's glue....

I used the technique on wood for a printmaking class. I would let the glue dry, then sand blast the board. Then I soaked the whole thing in water until all the glue fell off and printed what was left.
My students would just draw with glue and after it dried they would make rubbing using crayons or colored pencils.

Russia's behavior on this subject has totally perplexed me.....motive anyone?

Putting out a fire like a fucking boss...