About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

THURSDAY #1730


ANTOINETTE TUFF.
This is the greatest, coolest hero I have ever heard of.
If you don't know who this is, then look it up...but, DAMN!!!


The next time you get miffed at me for making fun of black people, remember this image...

While the young woman was cutting my hair, she asked me what I did. I told her I was retired, then asked, "What do yo do?" There was a very awkward pause.



Every married man has done this behind his wife's back at least once...

With all the present day piercings the next generation of grandfathers will have more holes in their head than those coming back from WWII.



Most women have mood swings.
My wife has mood theme parks.



With age come new skills. I can now laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time.


I'm sorry, but if you put something on line, I feel you just gave me permission to use it. Am I wrong?

I think that all the people believing that the first thing visiting aliens would do is stick a probe up our ass says more about us than them.



Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Feed a man to a fish and feed your fish for like six months.



I was once privileged to hear a street performer at a St. Patrick's day celebration...
  He walked out on the street with two large garbage bags and dumped out the contents of cans, buckets, spray cans, etc. Then he took two drum sticks and began a very energetic masterful performance. When he finished, the knees were torn out of his pants and his knees were bleeding.
Then a few people began to throw him small change and I yelled, "Bullshit!" and began to toss in wadded up dollar bills. Then everyone followed suit and there were dozens and dozens of dollars littering the street. Then the circle of spectators collapsed and other people began to walk through the area. My wife and I immediately rushed in to help him collect his bounty.
It was one of my prouder moments.

Math can be so very beautiful...
Notice that it's not "a.1354 squared"...it's just "a".
Then there is this...
But what about pi? Pi's value means that you can never find the right answer...you can only get close. How ugly is that? Help me out here.

This is why it is called the Mighty Mississippi...
And to think, during my latest road trip I crossed thousands of rivers that would end up in New Orleans.

Everyone has an ugly friend. If you don't have an ugly friend, then...well...this is awkward.



"You're never too old to learn something stupid."
Or, "You're never too old to learn something, stupid."


Exactly.

Remember when I couldn't find a map that looked like the fiber network of the brain and universe? Well, here it is...
Good old South Korea. Fuck you North Korea...you're not even trying.

I accidentally wore khakis and a navy blue polo to Walmart today. Long story short, I think I have been promoted to assistant manager.




The FBI confirmed that they have investigated the Amish Mafia, but so far the phone taps have yielded nothing.



All pets suffer from Stockholm Syndrome.

Don't confuse...

Mural painting? It's a large photograph glued to a wall! 
Boy, am I torn by this innovation. 

Sorry, graffiti painters, but if every inch of every wall in your neighborhood was covered in your "art", most people who lived there would move elsewhere...not the case of work above.

My daughters were in High School before they figured out they didn't have a little brother that I dropped off because he was too loud in the car. But them believing it sure made travel more pleasant.

This is one of the very few computer games I have ever played. It's called "Chip's Challenge" and it is pure logic. Besides the fact that the screen is like 60 pixels, it is very, very challenging. I beat it, but it took a while...

Cat hair is lonely person glitter.



Children are made readers in the laps of their parents.

Grand photos...

I'm planning on having my favorite drink this weekend. It's called a lot.



You can have the morning pill at 12 years old without your parent's permission, but you can't wash it down with a large soda.



A bicycle is like an acoustic version of a motorcycle.



Girls, just because it zips doesn't mean it fits.



"Fuck that shit," said the bull.....

If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty or illegal. If you see me laughing it's because I've already done it.



Don't know if this is posed, but I like it....

On the bright side I am not addicted to crack cocaine.
On the down side I'm too poor to afford crack cocaine.



A WONDERFUL WORD:
Mishpocha - An entire family network comprising relatives by blood and marriage and sometimes including close friends.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
A while back I posted a T-shirt that I opined was a Mensa test question.
Well, a real Mensa member sent me a real Mensa question.
I have given this A LOT of time and therefore am absolutely certain that I am wrong.
All of the figures have a partner (twin) except for the figure on the far right center. That one is also the only one with four dots. Therefore, having taken Mensa tests before, that is the figure that stupid people choose, so I know it's wrong.
I'm open for comments.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Mensa Man,

All the shapes/pictures have 1 large dot and 2 small dots except one. I believe the one on the far right-middle(3 o'clock position) is the odd man out.-Mel

Jim R said...


It’s not always the difficulty of the questions; it’s the speed at which you can answer them.

In keeping with the Mensa theme, click HERE for a new question.

The Mensa test is actually two tests. You only have to “pass” one. One is pretty hard but you have more time. The other consists of 100 questions and you have 2 minutes to complete as many as you can. Einstein himself wouldn’t have time to study and answer all 100. The linked example is an example of these types of “speed” questions.

Before the speed test started, they said you did not lose points for missing a question. So…at the “15 second” left warning, I was at about 40 something. I then circled “A” all the way done the page to 100. Should have added around 15 more “correct” answers.

When you get your results back, they don’t tell you which test you “passed.” I think if there is any speed test submitted without all 100 questions attempted, you automatically fail regardless of your score—as you should.

Jambe said...

"Mural painting? It's a large photograph glued to a wall!"

It's neither photograph nor mural; it's a 20' x 13' oil and acrylic on canvas painting.

Gottfried Helnwein - Kindskopf (Head of a Child), 1991

Ralph Henry said...

Yeah, oil and acrylic sprayed from a giant printer cartidge.
Or at least that looks like the same presentation I got from the company that does such things. We've seen it all over the world by now. They use space-age printers loaded with any paint you want and a mounting film from hell secured with a glue only hte devil could remove. I was even impressed.
But....BUT...all you have to do is photograph your painting and print it on a massive scale and you have....what? A painting...a mural...or a photograph?
The only part I found confusing was the word "painting" which I assume you will agree involves a brush instead of printer.
Not that I can't be wrong...but this ain't my first rodeo.

Ralph Henry said...

And, Matt, why no comment on the sloppiness of pi?

Jambe said...

I understand that it was painted by hand. Obsession with the moralistic implications of craft vs end product is tedious; either a work is beautiful or meaningful or it isn't. Your murals may be beautiful even to those who don't know/care how or by whom it was made.

Regards pi: you seem to be saying exact answers are beautiful whereas inexact answers are ugly, but you provide no justification. I'm left to guess, then.

Perhaps you dislike the cognitive dissonance associated with open-ended knowledge, but I don't know why you'd leap from that to ugliness. Spice of life and all that. Does the fact that you can't reduce love to an equation mean it's "ugly"?

Maybe the notion of an infinite series strikes you as ugly, but elsewhere on your site you have posted images of infinitude (the vastness of space and the vastness of atoms) as if they were beautiful, so again, you contradict yourself.

The spiral images there indicate irrationality like pi but they're more related to the Golden Ratio (it's listed at the bottom of the blue image where it's represented as a lowercase phi, or φ, approximately 1.618...). Surely you find the Golden Ratio beautiful?

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