But it's all a matter of perspective...isn't it....
Well, don't knock yourself out, Marriott...
Dad teaching his son how to ram...
This is me when the car in front of me is turning left at a green light intersection and they refused to pull into the intersection and I have to wait through an entire cycle...
I take my driving very, very seriously.
India has anti-domestic violence posters depicting female deities with wounds...
Take my money, please....
My wife has a black employee that does this all the time...
...and, yes, she admitted practicing it in front of a mirror while growing up.
I'm so out of shape Internet Explorer could run faster than me.
"Candy-gram."
(that's an American TV gag that you foreign viewers may not get)
If you are promoting changes to women's behavior to prevent rape, you are really saying, "make sure he rapes another girl."
If you are promoting changes to women's behavior to prevent rape, you are really saying, "make sure he rapes another girl."
The Pantheon dome gets progressively thinner toward the top to reduce weight...
The recessed design also greatly reduces the weight.
I've noticed that the quality of the conversation increases with the quality of the food...
I think you will agree.
Light. It's all about the light...
Mere children...
This guy's artwork is a modified pistol with steel dicks instead of bullets...
When he opened the case to show the gallery owner, the guards beat the shit out of him...and that's a true story.
What I wish I could do the moment before I died...
And I mean that.
I showed that to my wife and she suggested I do it, then when I die she would make it my last post. I'm still dealing with that.
I've noticed that I'm always drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed.
I showed that to my wife and she suggested I do it, then when I die she would make it my last post. I'm still dealing with that.
I've noticed that I'm always drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed.
My daughter, the professor, got a call from a mother in China concerning her son's grade.
In a women's bathroom....
What the fuck is a comple ion?...right above the big middle box.
Sarin gas factory leak detector...
Well, that sure makes me feel confident.
Fill in the blank: The white dots are ________________ .
Highlight [ moving in a straight line ]
Amazing.
How I sometimes feel as a blogger with such wonderful followers...
Then my wife reminds me that all I'm doing is giving a lot of people something to do while taking their morning shit.
Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we aren't perfect.....and then there's this young woman.....
Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we aren't perfect.....and then there's this young woman.....
You set yourself on fire. Quick, what do you do?
You scream and look at it.....jeeez.
Take my money...
Burning Man...
If you have to commute to your job, try to live east of your job so the sun will be at your back during both drives.
How the fuck is "Political Science" allowed to be called a science? Did I miss the vote on that?
In the 60's we took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it look normal.
What's worse than 1,000 naked people?
1,000 naked drunk people...
Can somebody explain this to me...I just don't get it...
Whenever people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning", I just sleep until noon because I'm a problem solver.
I saw this live. Brett Musburger introduced Eminem's new song and we all had to listen to it (try to listen). After listening, Brett talked about how great it was and tried very hard to sound enthusiastic...
Eminem was so out of it he didn't even know where he was.
Okay, I get the pun and its cleverness...
...but why does it look like cowhide?
This is one of the funniest things I've posted in months...
I would explain it to you, but then I would be sooooooo embarrassed. And you guys whose wives also reads this blog, then you ought to start thinking now so you won't have to tell her the truth when she asks you about the peanut butter game. Good luck with that.
A pee target in a urinal...
Well, this is embarrassing...for somebody...you know who you are...
Just another thing to worry about...
If you accidentally get your phont wet, try leaving it in dry rice overnight. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix it for you.
The trick is having a huge egg that allows it to mature in the shell.
You magnificent Spaniard....
Since stopping wearing hats I have a pretty good tan on my face. I plan to maintain it this winter by turning up my laptop brightness.
Now the true part...I told one of my bartenders (the Gender Studies major) that, but I substituted my wife as the dupe. The bartender looked at me and asked, "Really?"...and she was not kidding.
Watched a great Polish film....Korczak. I urge you to watch it. It's about the Warsaw Ghetto. This lady said these words...
A sentiment that would catch in my throat like bile and I would beat one of my children for uttering.
Are you Yankee motherfuckers ready for this?
I could sit and study this wall for hours...
Found another way to fuck with a waiter in a nice restaurant: Order a half-baked potato and then just watch their face as they ponder how to respond. Then just wing it.
I'll see your Burning Man and raise you Woodstock...
The morning after I send a drunk late night email...
I once answered an email with a scathing diatribe only to apologize the next day with - "Sorry, I was half drunk when I wrote that." My friend wrote back - "Half drunk? Well, there's your problem."
That's what friends do.
That's what friends do.
This son of a bitch swam across that water to the sand bar, crept up on his prey and crushed its fucking skull....that's what hunger looks like...
THERE WILL BE A FULL POST TOMORROW.
3 comments:
Good morning!
On the picture of the women's restroom with the phrases on the wall "comple ion" is "complexion", the x is missing.
(Love your blog)
The cartoon....the guy bound up the up the other character and didnt understand what was meant by "no" whilst binding him. Thus, he looked it up.
That's my interpretation anyways.
In BDSM you're supposed to have a "safe word" for when you get beyond your (dis)comfort level. You're not supposed to use simple words that might come into play during your activities naturally i.e. "No, Don't, Stop, Oh God, stick the lamp up my ass", etc. Nothing ruins a good bondage session like someone getting too technical and telling you "I said No, and No means No! Look it up if you don't believe me!"
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