FRIDAY #1966

You really need to watch this to the end...

Be forewarned...

An autopsy report listed marijuana intoxication as a significant contributing factor in the death of 19-year-old Levy Thamba Pongi. Authorities said Pongi, who traveled from Wyoming to Denver with friends to try marijuana, ate six times more than the amount recommended by a seller... Toxicologists later found that the cookie Pongi ate contained as much THC — marijuana's intoxicating chemical — as six high-quality joints...

And most of the bodies found in the last two days in that sunken ferry had broken fingers, presumably from the children frantically trying to climb the walls or floors to escape in their last moments.

Two of the bodies, a boy and a girl, had tied their floatation devices together, so as not to get separated.

GAME OF THRONES RECAP:

Fuck the king.

The king is fucked.

Fuck beside the king.

When there’s a huge solar energy spill it’s just called a nice day.

Dear Autocorrect, at no point have I ever meant “ducking”.

Carbon footprint per country...

Found a new comic with a very weird sense of humor...

THREE THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW

I tried this first one and it works...

Sit down, drink a beer, you are going to be fine…I promise.

OOMVO...

A great way to fuck with a car salesman is to say, “Tell me if you can hear this”, then crawl in the trunk and start screaming.

Have you ever had sex with a woman who kept shouting out her brother’s name?

Alzheimer’s isn’t funny until your dad uses your mom’s head as a urinal. Just try not to laugh at that shit.

Want to guess what this is before scrolling down?

 Trains loaded with coal.

Yeah, good luck getting your silver....it was spent years ago...

“Ready or not coming away!”

What hide n’ seek and premature ejaculation have in common

If it’s socially acceptable for women to draw on nonexistent eyebrows, men should be able to draw on nonexistent mustaches.

 OOMVO...

I’ve never been able to figure out if my wife is just unphotogenic or really ugly.

In Testing Theories of American Politics: Elites, Interest Groups, and Average Citizens [PDF], a paper forthcoming in Perspectives on Politics by Princeton's Martin Gilens and Northwestern's Benjamin Page, the authors analyze 1,779 over the past 20+ years and conclude that policy makers respond exclusively to the needs of people in the 90th wealth percentile to the exclusion of pretty much every one else. Mass-scale intervention from citizens' groups barely registers, while the desires of the richest ten percent of America dictate practically the entire national policy landscape.

Why do I swear so much. Because fuck you.

Remember when your mom told you to eat everything on your plate so the children in Africa couldn’t have it?

Stealthie: When you want to take a selfie and there are too many people around.

Fuck KFC! I got one dipping sauce with my ten piece chicken fingers and had to ration it like it was WWII or something!

There were whole groups of Americans that would find this image offensive...

By the way, I am very aware of the difference between 'who' and 'that' in sentences. For instance, "I like a man that cooks" should be "I like a man who cooks." However, in the sentence above the picture, the 'that' refers to 'groups' and I think I used it correctly.

In England every dessert except ice cream is called ‘pudding’.

Really? I think sometimes the best thing you could do for your children is to dump the bitch and strive for normalcy.

I once read that before power tools, people measured much more carefully...

I bet that guy measured 6 times and got two people to check his work.

 Did you notice the smiley face? And the guy died in 1674...yes, sixteen seventy-four.

 Lived so long, but never seen this...

How come I've never seen one of these before?

The British consume 99.99% of the world’s baked beans.

Dinnertime: The perfect break between work and drunk.

Living on the wild side...

I need feminism because when Jesus does a magic trick it’s a miracle, but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake.

Marvelous stuff...

Boy, that didn't take long...

I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book. Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps.

My "Caption Contest" entry from yesterday...

By the way, yesterday's post got more hits than any post. I have no idea why. And, Germany, you are kicking ass. Keep up the good work and do have a beer and think of me.

Reality TV isn’t really my cup of tea…mainly because I hate huge pieces of shit in my tea.

This just might work...

Thinking about getting a mosquito to bite me, cover it with amber, and then bury it deep beneath the Earth. That way when future humans want to clone us, their first specimen will look like me.

According to the internet, this happens thousands of times a minute...

The last time I had sex with my wife she yelled, “STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!”

I didn’t quite know how to take that, but there’s a half of loaf of bread up her ass joke in there somewhere.

Some people don’t do bacon for religious reasons.

I don’t do religion for bacon reasons.

A mural...

They might not see it, but photoreceptors in the eyes of blind people do detect and respond to light.

I am not easily confused, but....

Everything happens so much.

Great idea for a children's room...or a den...

Imagine listening to the news and every time a country is mentioned the child is asked to find it on the map.

Not to beat a dead horse, but I would love to heard the photographer's instructions to these girls...

Having leisure time is now a marker for poverty, not riches.

Can you tell what this is?

 Sheep being moved from one field to another.

Google Street View now lets you 'go back in time' to view previous captures of a place.

The takeover of the US by the Security-Corporate Complex is documented by mainstream press. According to Dana Priest and William M. Arkin of The Washington Post, "Some 1,271 government organizations and 1,931 private companies work on programs related to counterterrorism, homeland security and intelligence in about 10,000 locations across the United States. ... An estimated 854,000 people, nearly 1.5 times as many people as live in Washington, D.C., hold top-secret security clearances. ... In Washington and the surrounding area, 33 building complexes for top-secret intelligence work are under construction or have been built since September 2001. Together they occupy the equivalent of almost three Pentagons or 22 U.S. Capitol buildings -- about 17 million square feet of space."

THERE WILL BE A FULL POST TOMORROW...SATURDAY.