Real Madrid beat Fake Madrid for the championship.
It was a very exciting game that I will not bore you with the details. But in case you watched it, I made this joke to the other patrons watching it at my bar.
A man arrived home with a trophy shaped like a penis. His wife said, "How many times do I have to tell you not to enter in any more big dick contests?"
The man replied, "I only pulled out enough to win."
A good time was had by all.
Interesting enough, seated next to me at the bar was a second generation Gurkha warrior, now in the US Army posted at Fort Jackson.
Last night these landed not far from my house...
"The Hound" in happier times...
I won't bore you with the details...except for this...
A stress reliever that I bet works just fine...
Boy, does this hit close to home...
This is thinking outside the box...
Yes, they sell these...in stores....
The chemical in red wine previously thought to be
beneficial to general well-being, resveratrol, showed no positive impact on
health status or mortality risk in elderly adults.
(fuck science)
A hole-in-one the hard way....
AND he wins a car!
I feel for you new graduates...I really do.
When you are high, everything is a mission.
I found that very funny....especially after my earlier joke.
Sexual partners can usually judge accurately whether the
other is satisfied or not, even if they attempt to fake pleasure.
An article headline...
My girlfriend in High School drove one of these...a convertible...
Anybody want to opine as to why rape was not one of the listed Ten Commandments?
Something that I miss about childhood? Well, people don't ask me what my favorite shape is anymore. Adults just don't do this.
It's a triangle in case you were wondering.
But you don't really care anymore.
It's a triangle in case you were wondering.
But you don't really care anymore.
A waiting room in a dentist's office...
You ought to see the gynecologist's office next door.
I'm sent dozens of these rules to live by every day...
I like this one. I do ask if they are sure they want my opinion when I know it's not what they want to hear.
As one would imagine, retired people have a lot of free time...time used to plot the death of Dora the Explorer. Just fill the bitch's backpack with bricks and kick her ass in the Candy Cane River.
Don’t you
just hate it when your dinner is delicious but not pretty enough to Instagram?
These zany Indians aren't even TRYING to amuse us...
AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
Need a laugh? Got 3 minutes? Watch this...
2 comments:
I know this is long past your posting, but when I searched on the flag words, "Cerca trova", I found the following interesting info... surprised you didn't discover it, too...
Ciao!
"Cerca Trova" is not Latin, but "quite" Italian, is a very old motto (around 1500!) on a famous painting in Firenze, it sounds like "if you will look for it, you will find it". I'm guessing why this is on the Monarchs...
Here it is something interesting from wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Battle_of_Anghiari_(painting)#Possible_rediscovery
"Maurizio Seracini, an Italian expert in high-technology art analysis, believes that Leonardo's Anghiari is hidden behind one of the mural Battle of Marciano in Val di Chiana (1563) painted by Vasari. In the upper part of Vasari's fresco, 12 meters above the ground, a Florentine soldier waves a green flag with the words "Cerca trova" ("He who seeks, finds"). These enigmatic words are suggested to be a hint from Vasari, who had praised The Battle of Anghiari highly in his writings, incomplete and damaged as it was.
Seracini believes it is unlikely that Vasari would have willingly destroyed da Vinci's work. Vasari's concealment and preservation of another painting, Masaccio's Holy Trinity, during a subsequent renovation project also assigned to him by Cosimo I, is cited as precedent."
Thank you, my friend.
I watched a documentary about that. After using modern equipment to look for any underpainting by measuring the thickness of the plaster, they came up inconclusive. When the scientist left to raise more money the priests in charge of the place cut a six foot by six foot hole right in the middle of the mural. Bummer.
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