WEDNESDAY #2061

FIRST, THE NEWSY BITS...

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 Now we can all breathe a sigh of relief.


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From a new CNN poll....

Milking goats and maiming zombies in video games can teach people important things.

Noble thoughts...

 But we know that very primitive tribes protected their hunting grounds from outsiders.

I woke up early. There was no worm.

Thinking of getting married? You might want to get used to women's not-so-subtle body language...

That feeling when you don’t even know what the fuck you’re feeling.

 I do appreciate the great architecture in churches...

 But then I think of the suffering that could have been eased had the money been spent elsewhere.

If you live in a normal house and have normal furniture, you should thank these people...

 But I still can't get my head around destroying something this majestic...

You don’t really hear the word “skedaddle” anymore.

A couple of pretty good ideas...

Rule One of Wisdom Tree: There are no rules

If all the reports of UFO sightings are real, then Earth must be the most popular destination in the Universe. Obviously, that's a ridiculous anthropocentric notion.

“Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity—in all this vastness—there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. Like it or not, for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stand.”

The words of Walter Cronkite at the end of the documentary are spot on too. Thousands of scientists, astronomers, and normal people are scrutinizing the skies constantly. The possibility of a government cover-up of any potential contact is ridiculous at this point. When the contact with an alien civilization really happens, we will all know.

There is no “i” in “happness”.

When all these marks are seen from the exact right spot...

 They line up to produce this...

 Can we assume it's on the landing path of the airport?

I'm not sure why I find this so odd...

That's the way a sun dial works in the Southern Hemisphere.

 Come to find out, there are messages like this on many mother boards...

A can of beer never asks silly questions.

Ever seen a sign like this before?

 Guy in Indiana camped out on his grandmother's grave when the highway was being built and the highway department blinked first...

Americans do not like it when their politician are too smart. And they never have.

Surgical patients with a window view of a natural setting had shorter hospital stays, used fewer painkillers, and received fewer negative evaluative comments from nurses than patients with windows facing a brick building wall.

Children ate more of a food when it was presented without commentary or when it was presented simply as tasty, without any indication of its "usefulness" (e.g. they ate less after being told vegetables will make them stronger ).

Women who had five or more blistering sunburns between the ages of 15-20 have been found to be 1.8 times more likely to develop melanoma than those who did not get any.

Overweight military personnel serving at high altitudes had a 41 percent lower risk of becoming obese than those serving at low altitudes.

A whole Fuckthatshit country...

In Denmark, they hang you from a safety rope—then they cut it off and you free fall at 55 mph down onto an airbag 100 foot below. For fun.

**** For what it's worth: A scientist had numerous students count aloud in seconds over and over again. The baseline was usually very consistent. Then he hung them on this "ride" and as they fell...terrified...they counted aloud and were recorded. He proved that when in great stress, time really does move slower...or seem to.
I found that interesting.

Speaking of...

Just because you’re having fun doesn’t mean I have to have fun.

I haven’t been arrested since Obama got elected.

 The story of retirement in one photo...

Every morning I check out the list of the 100 richest people in the world. And my lip curls.

You think one cat has ever said to another cat, “Where have you been all my lives?”

Words can amuse...

“My desires are….unconventional.”

I haven't spent near enough time discussing this...

Is the system broken? No. It was designed this way. You have been taught from birth that you are powerless and....you were taught very, very well.

Behind every successful woman there is usually a fine, tight ass.

The human brain is indeed a wonder...

Not only do we recognize that as a human walking, we sense that they are walking with confidence...determination...and maybe aggression.

There’s nothing more beautiful than a person whose heart has been broken but still realizes their genitalia still functions admirably.

Shit you don't see, read and hear every day...

Stop and smell the roses. And while your neighbor is distracted, slip a few of them in your pocket to help you get that blowjob when you get home.

When I called my wife for the first date after meeting her...

Have you ever been so hungover that you only put on one sock....not on your foot?

It only makes sense that a group of squid should be called a squad.

Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. All we can do is get a younger girlfriend and buy her real expensive gifts…often.

This format is such a wonderful solution to so many problems...

If you looked at this in a 3D model, it would look like the configuration of the universe.

How much a head start would you need to beat a velociraptor in a 100 yard dash to insure you don't die?