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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

THURSDAY #2076


Was told this guy is running for the senate in Montana...

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Turkey's Dogan news agency reports that the remains of a conjoined dolphin calf were found on a beach near Izmir. It is thought to have been about a year old at the time of its death.

If it lived for a year, one would think it was nurtured by its mother or other pod members.

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John Schindler was a prof at the College; he slammed Snowden as a traitor and compared Greenwald to Hitler, and was generally dismissive about concerns about network surveillance; he also sent pictures of his dick to a woman who wasn't his wife.




If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be human. You’d be a game show host.


I think this is an example of invent it first, then find a use for it...


I’ve always wanted to push all the buttons in an elevator, then turn to the other passengers and say, “So, tell me about yourselves.”


Here's another...


Last night I got drunk at an Irish Pub and came home with only one shoe.


I will state again my dismay at the dismal programming of channels that used to educate people. How could anybody watch season after season of ghost hunting, Bigfoot hunting and more shows on aliens than you can count? Just another sign of our decline. 

See anything odd?
Yeah, well I thought it was an antenna, but it's actually a solar cooker. And a big ass bird.

I once had a house guest rearrange all my kitchen cabinets because she was "Bored".


In exactly one year I will once again be driving on roads like this...


Do it right or don’t do it at all is the easiest suggestion I’ve ever followed.




On my first day in prison my cellmate said to me, “If you come near me I’ll fucking kill you. When I’m sleeping, don’t fucking touch me. You hear me. And don’t ever talk to me either.”

“Fucking great,” I thought. “First day in her and I’m already married.”


Quaint cafe...
Did you catch the name above the door?
Notice there are no black people in the photo. 

 Fuck you.


Lobsters must think fish can fly.


Sad day when a woman has to explain to her husband the intricate details of baseball.

This is made from aluminum foil...
My students used to draw on a piece of cardboard with elmer's glue. After it dried they secured the aluminum foil and went over it with an eraser. The results was very similar to the above.

With access to millions of image at the touch of a button, it's not surprising that people find look-a-likes. So who does that grandmother look like to you?
 John Travolta?

At a certain age you just don't care what people think any more.


They were probably told not to laugh...


A prostitute told me she would do anything for $20, then balked at washing my car.


 You know he did...
 I wonder how many women won't get that.


My wife was so embarrassed when at the dentist’s he said “Open wide” and she spread her legs by shear reflex.




“Daquan! Why are all these white people calling me complainin’ about you?”

(TRUE: I saw a thing on line that said they looked up Daquan on Google images and they were all mug shots. Well, I looked Daquan up on Google images and only 80% were mug shots)

 One Of My Very Own...
Speaking of...
I'll see your lack of panties and raise you...




Don’t you hate it when you’re watching porn and the camera zooms in on the man’s vagina?


I can't believe the author didn't interview me...
 I could have given him some real pointers.


Fuck you, Caption Guy...


I have no idea who this man is...
 I just thought it was a cool ass thing to say.

Pros and cons of making food:
Pros: food
Cons: making


And the other day in Screwthatistan....

Ladies and gentlemen, the craziest son of bitch...IN...THE...WORLD.....


Have you ever been so high that you had to turn down the TV because you couldn’t taste your grilled cheese?


I like this lady...

If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33% chance you are being used as a napkin.


I don't even know what these objects are, but I love it...
I once heard that visual art was merely entertaining the eye. If that is true, then I found my eye well satisfied. 


Turns out society is screwed without fossil fuels.


Original patents for common objects...


When bitter taste receptors detect bacteria, they activate the immune system - protecting against infection.



Bookshelf Dioramas, Marc Giai-Miniet...
 These are 4 or 5 feet tall...



In school-aged children, handwriting a composition task generated more ideas than typing it on a computer.


Photography...
But just remember, until you gain their trust, your child will take every avenue and opportunity to escape.

Farmer orders his ducks to line up before "marching" into barn...

This weekend in California, a man used a fake gun to rob a real gun store. Nobody was hurt, but everyone was embarrassed.


White people...I mean.......damn....

We will never find peace among the peoples of this world unless we find peace within ourselves. So, yeah...we're screwed.


Sao Paolo...

I love my dog for not judging the horrible things it's seen me do.




The only way to eat a $8 salad is angrily.


Raslin' in Walmart...

I know a lot of non-Americans look at this and go "Oh look! America." but you need to understand, even in America, this shit is bananas.

Garage in Japan...

I've been to hell and back and can show you vouchers to prove it.




3 comments:

Spider Borland said...

Your pink box quote about making art is an interesting concept considering your views on graffiti. Perhaps they're just making art and you're just deciding it's bad?

The only similarities between Nixon and Obama is the use of wiretapping, and I believe it was Bush who made it legal to wiretap people.

Ralph Henry said...

"Perhaps they're just making art and you're just deciding it's bad?"...of course, just like we decide what food or music I like. However, I have been formally trained through undergraduate and graduate school. That may not make me an expert on aethetics, but it makes me more of an expert than most people.
I like every thing about graffiti except duplicating the same motif over and over again. That's what middle school students do, not artists.

Spider Borland said...

I think formal training just makes your techniques stronger. Not to discredit your background at all. You spent many years honing your craft, and you likely became very good at it. However, "Art" is subjective. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and all that.

Your complaint about motif duplication is interesting. I feel like motif duplication is what creates a style. Realism, Abstraction, Impressionism, etc. Even then it can be broken down into periods, but I'm sure I don't need to give you a history lesson. Heck, "Graffiti" is even listed as a sub-genre of Contemporary art.

When even considering the notion of "same motif" in graffiti, in some cases, that's the point. It's even referred to as a "tag." These artists have created a brandname, so to speak, and they're smearing it around. No different than Nike or Apple, etc. Is this amateur? Perhaps, but I also don't think these people are trying to be famous for what they plaster.

Continuing with this idea, is what I would call Banksy Graffiti. It's a style that utilizes the same motif: few colors (more cans to carry), stenciling, and a sometimes subtle message.

The tagging and the "Banksy" are just styles that will, in time, fade, and the works will be included in a coffee table book that will be opened once in its life.

You want to talk about artistic motif's that don't impress ME, then let me talk about photorealism. Congratulations, you've honed your craft to a point where you can duplicate anything you see, or even imagine for that matter. You know what else can do that? A camera... and photoshop. Sure, as a skill, it's really impressive, but so is being a court stenographer who can type 300 words a minute. You've mastered an antiquated process.

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