THURSDAY #2083

NEWSY BITS

This was one of the good guys...

 I feel the same way as this lady...

A Kurdish fighter keeps guard while overlooking positions of Islamic State militants near Mosul in northern Iraq August 19, 2014.

*********** 

 Ferguson.

***********

Health inspection officers help a mock patient get into a negative pressure isolation stretcher, during a drill to demonstrate the procedures of transporting an Ebola victim, at Shenzhen Entry-exit Inspection and Quarantine Bureau, in Shenzhen, Guangdong province, China, August 14, 2014.

*********** 

In a Korean-language press release issued Wednesday, North Korea said that U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry was a "wolf donning the mask of sheep," but cursed with a "hideous lantern jaw."

************

Rockets launched from the Gaza Strip towards Israel is seen (at right) as the Iron Dome anti-missile system is fired to intercept them, August 19, 2014.

*********** 

 My wife took the Ice Bucket Challenge.
I wonder how many people will recognize that scene from a very famous movie.

***********

What are the fucking chances....

That man should buy a lottery ticket.

Miley Cyrus' grotesque tongue broadcast is now reaching the Sun's Oort Cloud of Comets.

Air hockey robot…

 ...the only way to win is not play the game.

 Hyper-realistic toy soldiers...

And it's a fucking national disgrace.

In a mirror, you can only kiss yourself on the lips.

This is why even graffiti artists need to take a few art lessons...

But ain't his font style nice.

Our identity is located in our brain. So the executioner's command "Off with his head!" should really be "Off with his body!"

When police tell you to put your hands up and stop running you can still legally flee with a rapid series of cartwheels.

Me: Is it weird to talk to myself?

Me: No.

Highly motivated young man...

I’ve given a lot of thought about how we in the US ended up so stupid. I have determined that it’s all the fault of Ralph Nader. He started all that shite (sic) about warning people not to do those stupid things that before him cleansed the gene pool.

If I was a stripper, I’d make them call me Equaliti with an “I” at the end.

Shit you don't see every day...

The older I get, the weirder the porn gets.

Photography...

It's all about the light.

Girl Little League player in World Series. Why not, right? Well, how about a male who wants to play women’s softball? Why not, right?

It all reminds me of a ruling that allowed women sports writers into the men’s dressing room after a game, but would not allow men sports writers into the women’s dressing room after their games.

Another young man gives up on juggling...

 It was quite a boon to mankind when it was discovered that we could make clothing out of this...

I watched a documentary about silk worms. One cocoon is made from a single strand of silk one mile long. They have to boil the worm so that it doesn't chew through the cocoon, thus causing not one long thread, but fragments. 

Too many misspelled stuff to be funny anymore...

But this one reminded me of one of my most favorite stories. When my old friend R.J. Moore was in the Marines, they were confused that he had no first name, only initials. So he was allowed to carry a document stating that his name was R (only) J (only) Moore, and from then on he was called Ronly Jonly.  

The elephant's equivalent to slapping on the butt...

Knife on top is new. The other's show wear of multiple years of washing and sharpening...

Is your life based on a true story?

Saw a bumper sticker today that read: GOD BLESS JOHN WAYNE. I thought, what a strange thing for someone to declare on the back of their car. Then on the other side was another: BODY PIERCING BY GLOCK…then it all made sense.

Sarychev Volcano Eruption from the International Space Station...

Dear new parents, imagine a life outside of bragging that your kid pissed in a fake toilet for the first time

See anything...odd?

 That is a modern sex doll.
And, yeah, I want one.

Monkey see, monkey do...

Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier died in his own balloon invention and was the first official fatality of an air crash. 

Yeah, I've been drunk, but I've never been so drunk that I passed out wearing a front yard...

(Is that a repost? If so, sorry)

Violinist, Roger Frisch, plays during brain surgery to find what's causing his tremors...

It’s been two whole weeks since anyone called me disgusting.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone give less fucks than this guy...

I don't own a shirt that warrants a hanger.

Turns out, women don't like being told to frown either.

One Of My Very Own...

Only about 600 people have ever gone into space in the entire history of mankind….excluding Jesus and Mohammed, of course....and Mohammed's horse.

Some interesting quotes juxtaposed on the wrong people...

Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?

 (people actually think about such things...daily)

When anyone asked me what I "do", I say, “I’m an amateur dentist.”

Photography and fences...

 I've heard that if you mist spider webs with water, they will photograph this way. I can only assume dew does the same thing.

For reasons I can't explain, that's the scariest fucking thing I've ever seen.

My last word will probably be either “SHIT!” or “FUCK!”.

The 355 Congressmen who voted to continue Program 1033 (through which the military buys war-weapons at full retail, then gives them away free to local cops) accepted 73 percent more campaign donations from defense industry sources than the opposition.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

Kentucky's tourism finance authority gave preliminary approval to incentives applied for by The Ark Encounter, a creationist theme park that requires employees to agree to a statement of faith and a "creation belief statement." Daniel Phelps, of the Lexington Herald-Leader, writes that the religious requirements are so stringent even locals will have a hard time getting work there. The fact that Kentucky is considering granting a tax incentive to a group that has a policy of religious discrimination in hiring is unacceptable.