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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, October 31, 2014

HALLOWEEN FRIDAY #2154


I forgot part of my Third Spheroid story.

While I was sweating out the diagnosis, I thought about how great it would be if my nutsack killed me. It reminded me of when my daughter warned me not to post images of Mohammed because someone might behead me. I responded that it would be a great way to die. Here's my rationale.
Imagine years from now my relatives are asked how their father/husband died and they would say, "A crazed Muslim beheaded him." Sounds so much better than such lame things as heart attack.
Then you have to admit, having these same people have to say, "His nutsack finally did him in," would be fucking hilarious.

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 (Anti-Social Behavior Order)

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 That's a new website for helping you find good flicks on Netflix. 

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 The Russian are going to do this thing.

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The possible role of neonicotinoids in the delcine of bees. A new class of insecticides first introduced in 1994 that is relatively harmless to people and animals — neonicotinoids. Now added routinely as a coating on seeds, neonicotinoids provide additional insurance against soil pests. And, like the genetic traits, they become an intrinsic part of the plant as it grows. Dozens of studies have now found that low doses of neonicotinoids may not kill bees outright, but can cripple their highly sophisticated navigational and communication skills, and hamper a queen’s reproduction.


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Your mouth makes the same motion as your butt when you say poop and when you poop.



Korean English book...
Fucker knows Americans pretty damn well.

Watch his footwork...


Pain is the check engine light of the body.


Oh, really? You are worth what you are worth. If you don't know how to do anything that people are willing to pay you good money to do, then you may want to reevaluate some of your life choices.



Country music, where anything can rhyme if you put enough accent on it. Like “horrid” and “forehead”. Or Johnny Cash and “Momma sang tenor, me and my brother would jump right in there.” Yes, he rhymed that.


Wait for it......wait for it....
 Speaking of...

Amazing that most of us can get the gist of this...

????...

Saw this emoticon (?) yesterday:


( .Y. )




A server told me that usually his blood alcohol level was higher than his GPA.




Daily hygiene routines (like hand washing) relieved feelings of guilt and shame after behaving unethically. Trust me on this one. And relatedly, 90% of the hands you shake are used for masturbation.




Alien vs Predator upheld by Supreme Court. "This movie rules" said Justice Scalia writing for the majority.



Concept not 100% understood...
 And for this product this is the happiest cat they could find...
Speaking of...
This is me eating calamari in front of my wife's vegetarian friend...



Why did Popeye buy long sleeve shirts?



A mom doing what mom's do...

The humanity...


Can we all agree to just stop what we're doing for 5 minutes and get a worldwide airplane safety speech and then we can skip them forever?


 I found that very funny.


You know it has been a long time when your wife can decorate for Halloween with the cobwebs from her vagina.


 Speaking of...


Dear Ad Execs who put doorbell and ringing phone sounds in your commercials….don’t do that.


Remember this little prick?


That awkward moment when you cum on her face and then have to wipe it off the screen.


Ya gotta love dogs...
Just trying to help...
 Speaking of...
"Security Monitor"?

Back when designers cared about detail...


It may just be a rumor I am starting, but the tradition of carving pumpkins began as a warning to other vegetables.


No slave to fashion, he...


WOMEN...

Have I mentioned my reoccurring dream?

Two Of My Very Own About Women...


One of the women filmed trying to read a book while having an orgasm...
 The part they don't show you...




HALLOWEEN SCARINESS....


And lastly, one of the best costumes I've ever seen...

Now, go scare somebody.

 And...


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