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I'm an artist, an educator,,and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, January 16, 2015

FRIDAY #2231

Not sure if real news, but here it is anyway...

Patricia Driscoll (head of the national charity, the Armed Forces Foundation) went to court to obtain a protective order against her ex-boyfriend, NASCAR driver Kurt Busch. She says Busch assaulted her last year. In his defense, Busch testified to the court that Driscoll is a trained international killer.


Real Headline:

Ebola Cases Decline in Sierra Leone, Who Says
(I thought that funny)

Authors are being warned not to mention pigs or sausages in children's schoolbooks - in an apparent bid to avoid offending Muslims and Jews. Top academic publisher the Oxford University press has issued guidance that authors should avoid using pork-related words.
(sorry, Porky)
Seriously, what about Charlotte's Web? What about the delightful movie Babe?
And why, exactly, does NO ONE care about offending me? And I get very, very offended when I can't buy a children's book starring a fucking pig!
Do you remember the piece I posted about our need to evolve further? Well, I think we are DE-volving back to the fucking Dark Ages.
Do you think everything can really be back to normal when, according to the most recent numbers from the Census Bureau, an incredible 49% of Americans are receiving benefits from at least one government program EVERY SINGLE month?
And if you want to know how stupid the terrorists are, the underwear bomber that was stopped on-board had been given instructions to make sure the airplane was over Detroit when he blew it out of the air to maximize damage..... in Detroit? The mayor would probably thank them for saving him the money of demolishing the property.

People who serve underage drinkers shouldn't be behind bars.

The Japanese know how to have fun...

When things get me down, I take a deep breath and go to my happy place – my favorite bar…where they understand me.

Scientists have discovered a new antibiotic, teixobactin, that can kill serious infections in mice without encountering any detectable resistance, offering a potential new way to get ahead of dangerous evolving superbugs.
So, Bruce, how big a deal is this?

A Lycra suit for racing camels...
They have those for greyhounds also.

Oh, my...

You'll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians. Everyone.


Imagine how scary snails would be if they were fast.

Have you ever helped a woman search for her underwear in the backseat of a convertible?

Got any idea who this is?
Martha Stewart. 

It started with this image about priorities...
 And then people got creative...

All men need a universal hand signal for “My wife doesn’t know about that”.

When you’re dead and somebody is talking about you, don’t have them remember just all the things you don’t like.

There almost wasn’t a second date. First off, the plural of shrimp is shrimp. Not shrimps. Also it's pronounced sammon, not sallman

Please sign my petition to make Matthew McConaughey the voice for Siri.

MIT researchers developed a compact thermal-imaging rig that mounts to the roof of cars to detect energy leaks in homes and other buildings as they drive by.

Zeugma was located at the only crossing place between Anatolia and Mesopotamia; it is estimated that two or three thousand houses are buried there.  A series of excavations currently underway there is revealing some startling mosaics. "The mosaics, created in the 2nd century BC, are constructed of boldly colored glass and are being covered for protection until excavation is complete."
(shit like that makes me wet)

Brave girl fishes piranhas holding a piece of raw meat with her hand...
And she is BAREFOOT!!!

A Line of Clothing With Reflective Threads Designed to Ruin Paparazzi Photos...

Today I caught my wife staring at other people’s food on her computer.

 Cheeky receipts...

I’ve always wanted someone to ask me “How’s business?” and I could answer “None of yours.”

School science projects in a nutshell...
 But look at the correction at the bottom...
They crossed out the correct "are" and replaced it with the incorrect "is".

These Indian kids don't need a calculator to solve mathematical operations in just seconds. They do it all in their heads using a mental abacus—an old Asian technique that allows them to visualize an imaginary abacus and operate it to perform the calculations.

My wife sent this to me and I couldn't agree more...

I hate self-promotional people. They're so into themselves they probably don't even realize I have a rather popular blog called Folio Olio.

One Of My Very Own...

Robot artist draws giant sketch on the beach...
 Notice how some of the lines in the fish above are thinner than others. That is accomplished by having some of the teeth in the scrapper raise up...

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be, so you’re covered either way for the fact that you wet yourself.

The most popular male dog names...
 Female names...

This looks strange, like having people walk right past your window all day...
But the true is even stranger. The outside of that building was incorporated into the interior of the new building. 

If God wanted us to save money for retirement he wouldn't have invented online shopping

One time as a prank my wife mooned a friend, but there was a tiny piece of toilet paper in her crack & it haunts me to this day

I know I'm old and wasn't raised in the age of constant documentation...
 But don't you think that instead of experiencing a very special occasion first hand, that you experience it from a little screen...just...like....everyone...else...

Gardens are insane. "Oh that's just my box of dirt that pushes food at me very slowly."

My Final Word...

Listen and silent are spelled with the same letters.

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