THURSDAY #2251

NEWS I CARE ABOUT...

Some random images of something I've given some thought to...

I didn't know that this nonsense goes back a long way. 

I have a theory. If science is not suspect, then their religions MUST collapse. 
************

And a star is born...

No, not her. It is what is now universally known as the Left Shark.

In all honesty I didn't notice anything during the halftime extravaganza, but I was pretty fucking wasted.
So today I have about six people's attention at the bar and I say, "What is it with this Super Bowl shark?" and all six of them said at once, "You mean LEFT SHARK!"
One of you guys in the know, please let me know what is so extraordinary about that poor smuck in the shark costume.
Thank you.

The sight of a woman’s cleavage reduces a man’s ability to think clearly by 50%....per boob.

Back when you had to try really, really hard to drop your phone in the toilet.

 What an interesting ad...

You might be cool, but you will never be as cool as this guy…

In Suburbia is not enough to just cut you grass, now there is a full-blown Competitive Landscaping mentality that dominates even the conversations at parties and whatnot.

Photography...

I think we should get control of this...

 Give your kid a screwdriver and a broken clock and see what happens. Teach him you use the book to identify bugs in the back yard. Show him how to find the constellations in the night sky. Give him a camera and discuss what is and what is not a good photograph. But please don't fill his head with this...

I think genuine play is the highest form of research. Children learn so many life lessons from minor injuries. Now they are making playgrounds injury-proof…and boring. 

This reminds me of a story...

A farmer took me out to his stable area to "show me something," and took a bucket of feed and placed it in the middle of the exercise yard and called his horse. The horse lumbered out of the stable followed by a huge old sow. When the horse got to the bucket, it took his nose and pushed a lot of the feed out onto the ground where the pig was waiting to eat it. The farmer said the horse did it every time and I believe him.

My wife has started to work out again....

 She also moved to Brazil.

100 dancing robots

This laser aimed blowgun is very accurate...

And will shoot nails hard enough to penetrate fruit.

It will also shoot candy...

 ...or anything else that will fit in the tube.

Shit you don't see every day...

In Saudi Arabia they flogged somebody who blogged about extremism. Quaint that...the flogged/blogged connection.

It was stated that the fluctuations can be explained by the severity of the winters. Why are men losing their fingers? For the simple reason that they keep sticking their hands in snowblowers while they're still running.

A hanging sculpture of a mass of light bulbs...

 By turning this huge dial below the sculpture, you can change the phases of the moon...

A professor once told me that on the first day of class she asked what causes the phases of the moon. Almost everyone thought it was the shadow of the earth on the moon. Then she asked why the sky was blue and almost everyone thought it was a reflexion off the ocean. And these were all kids smart enough to get into an excellent university. 

I'm not much for motivational sayings unless they are clever, and that one is clever.

Ötzi Iceman's tattoos — a new theory...

 On account of the various locations of the tattoos, some researchers suspected that the marks were part of some therapeutic medical treatment, a kind of acupuncture to relieve pain in the joints.

Experts from three acupuncture societies then examined the locations of the tattoos. In their opinion, nine tattoos could be identified as being located directly on, or within six millimeters of, traditional acupuncture points. Two more were located on an acupuncture meridian. One tattoo was used as a local point. The remaining three tattoos were situated between 6-13mm from the closest acupuncture point.

They were made by cutting the skin and rubbing in charcoal.

This is called the Post House...

 This is the magnificent view...

 I found the presence of the big screen TV blocking part of the view a bit unsettling.

One Of My Very Own...

I had a grown man come up to me at a bar upset that I yelled at him when he was in the fourth grade. He mentioned it four times in one fifteen minute conversation.

I could not agree more.

Indeed.

My mother in law is senile, but the other day she just up and said, “I remember those checks I used to write for Missy’s horse and in the 'for' line I always wrote “Cannabis!” Then she laughed; something she doesn’t do often.

(Cannabis was the name of the horse…which is also extraordinary.)

You know that face you make when you remember you didn’t pay the electric bill? I think it’s universal.

 Diver Discovers Ancient Underwater Forest Off Coast Of England.

 Speaking of England...

This is another European monarch. He likes to wear hats...

And that is true.

Astronomers have discovered an exoplanet with an enormous ring system that far surpasses Saturn's.

 (that is an artist's rendition)

 This image reminded me of a very bad memory...

 A friend's mother committed suicide by lying in the tub with pure hot water running and basically boiled herself. What a fucking horrible way to take one's life.

 You're welcome.

Girls just want to have funds.

And just why the hell not?

 Why don't churches just open their doors to the homeless and let them take some of the money?

Can we assume that is a spoof?

My Final Word...

It’s always something. It’s never nothing.