FOLIO OLIO: MONDAY #2321

One Of My Very Own...

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Took my computer in for a new battery two weeks ago. I warned you about some possible disruption in services, but then I found out the "Mac Guy" was on vacation and wouldn't be back until the following Monday. I told them I would be back then and took my computer home.
The following Monday I took it back with these instructions: If they have to order a part, call me and I will come get the computer and return it when the part gets there; and If a part is needed that you don't have, I will gladly pay FedX overnight fees.
Well, after stall after stall, I got my computer back Friday...a week to put in a battery! But then I found out the Mac Guy's father had died, which meant I couldn't even throw anything across the store without coming across as an unfeeling cad. God I hate real life.

If I found a cure for autism, I would only make it available in vaccine form.

Would it surprise anyone that the correlation between prayer and rain was absolutely zero? Of course not. You believers don't even believe that anymore.

And then there's this...

So, is there a god living up there or what? If so let's find him and politely ask him(her) to move off the best land on the planet for such telescopes.

This is baffling. Some paleolithic mumbo-jumbo stymying serious science? TMT would allow astronomers to see 13 billion light-years away and the forming galaxies at the very edge of the observable Universe, near the beginning of time.
Are we nuts?! What if the perfect mountain was Mt. Olympus? Or Ararat? Or that island where we sprinkled my parents' ashes?

Maybe if we threw a few virgins in a volcano they would let us.
Here's an excellent article on said subject:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/13/hawaii-telescope-protests-tmt-mauna-kea_n_7044164.html?utm_hp_ref=science&ir=Science

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If your car has a proximity-based ignition fob that lets you start the engine without inserting a key, thieves on the street in front of your house can use an amp to detect its signal from your house and relay it to the car, getting away clean.

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The Darvaza Crater in Ahal Province, Turkmenistan, is known as the “Door to Hell.” The story goes that Soviet petroleum engineers created the hole in 1971 while looking for gas. The collapsed crater spewed dangerous gas, so they ignited it, thinking the gas would soon burn off. Over forty years later, the crater is still burning. In 2014, explorer George Kourounis descended to the bottom of the crater, protected by a fireproof suit. Even he was surprised by the heat of the crater. Kourounis didn’t stay long, but he brought back biological samples from the bottom.

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Palindromes are words or phrases that read the same way forward or backward. Like "Mom" or "Taco Cat" or the sentence "Marge lets Norah see Sharons telegram." But a Semordnilap reads one way forward, "stressed" and another way backward, "desserts." Other examples include diaper, parts and of course, semordnilap itself.

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My wife doesn’t know this, but I put a dollar in a jar every time we have sex and that’s what I’m spending on her for Christmas. So far she getting a No. 2 pencil.

PHOTOGRAPHS THAT MAKES ONE THINK...

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Today public support for the freedom to of gays to marry has increased to 63 percent from 27 percent in 1996.

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"Between 2011 and 2013, China consumed 6.6 gigatons of concrete – that’s more than the U.S. used in the entire 20th century."

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Well, after all the comments I got about the grape thing, I am less fond of them now...

Thanks, by the way.

A simple way to pretend you are paying attention when you play on your phone...

I want to see a documentary about Morgan Freeman that’s narrated by wild animals.

A moon rock given to the Dutch prime minister by Apollo 11 astronauts in 1969 has turned out to be a fake. Curators at Amsterdam's Rijksmuseum, where the rock has attracted tens of thousands of visitors each year, discovered that the "lunar rock," valued at 308,000, was in fact petrified wood.

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Chess grandmaster accused of cheating with iPhone in toilet. Raising suspicions with his frequent trips to the bathroom, Gaioz Nigalidze was searched to no avail. But when they checked the stalls, they found a hidden iPhone. Running a chess app. With his current game set up.

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The fig story has got to be the stupidest of all the things Jesus said. Can you imagine becoming angry at a tree for not baring fruit at the wrong time of year. That's spookily retarded.

If you found a dead body in the woods, would your first option be to kiss it on the lips...

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An attempt to break the world record for the largest Easter egg hunt descended into chaos on Sunday, as adults ended up barging toddlers out of the way and scuffles broke out in a bid to collect the most eggs. Parents of the children taking part at the event in Sacramento, in California, described scenes of carnage as the crowd squabbled on the lawn. "It’s really ridiculous," said Michelle Rodriguez, who told The Sacramento Bee she paid $140 for her seven children to participate in the VIP portion of the hunt, in which some of the eggs were stuffed with coupons for free food.

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If you’ve got a boat and you’re paying interest on it, that interest is tax-deductible – provided your boat is really, really big. If it has sleeping quarters, a kitchen and a toilet – e.g., it is a yacht – then it can be considered a second home and any interest you pay on it is deductible. But if you just have a garden-variety fishing boat or canoe, sorry – no deduction for you.