WEDNESDAY #2323

One Of My Very Own...

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http://www.buzzfeed.com/kellyoakes/the-prettiest-space-quiz-youll-take-today#.ffXV25L1L
And don't worry, it's short. I only missed three.

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When I heard the Taliban and ISIS have declared jihad against each other...

I do not want to be involved in any “journey of self-discovery” ever again, is that understood?

Sunburns are just a reminder that you are essentially uncooked meat.

Protecting a cathedral from bombs...

So when you watch films of ISIS destroying this or that ancient artwork, just remember US bombers did it day after day after day. Oh, we didn't "plan" to destroy it, but we KNEW it was going to happen, so we did it on purpose. And don't tell me about the "no bomb" zones. We were lucky to get within 5 MILES of a target. That's why they called them dumb bombs.

A functioning electric kazoo...

That took me a moment or two to absorb. An electric kazoo. Who thought that would be a good idea?

An ingenious British designer has come up with the ultimate environmentally friendly way to create stunning household furniture — by letting Mother Nature do all the hard work.

 Gavin Munro grows young trees into specially designed plastic moulds, pruning and guiding the branches into shape before grafting them together to form ultra-tough joints.

 Using this method he's already created several prototype pieces and has a field in Derbyshire where he's currently tending a crop of 400 tables, chairs and lampshades which he hopes to harvest next year.

That is some cool ass furniture.
I can't let that go without you feeling my awe of such a thing. I am agog thinking of the possibilities of this technique. I WANT IN THE GAME, COACH!!

I like the part in the airports when the cops touch me.

If I ever find a dead body while I’m hiking I’m going to be like finally.

 Something you don't see everyday...

And that's probably the only tongue to lick those balls....and survived.
And just how did us humans evolve so that we can no longer do that? Seriously, who thought that was an ability we didn't need anymore? If I had a time machine, the first thing I would do is go back and stop the evolutionary process that ended up in a bone structure whereby I can't lick my own balls. Further, I predict that there would be far less aggression in the world if every man could just sit and lick his own balls any time he was so inclined.

Another reason I am going to hell...

My dear wife is at it again. Here she and a real transvestite are judging a "beauty" contest where straight men dress in drag for charity...

 My wife's dear friend died recently.

She posted this photo on FB and said how much she loved her and some people commented that they were sorry she had lost her life partner. She didn't even bother to correct them.
That reminded me of Kevin Spacey who refused to correct rumors that he was gay because he didn't see anything wrong with it. That made me respect him even more.

Accidents do happen...

The letter Q is an O smoking a cigarette and is therefore extremely cool.

I sympathize with this guy....kind of...

But if you live in free public school America and the only skill you have that anyone is willing to pay you to do is taking cans out of a box and putting them on a shelf, well, maybe your misery is not entirely the fault of the corporation.

None of the doomsday warnings have come to pass in the states that legalized...

The condemnation of marijuana has turned around because of accurate information. Some people were shocked...SHOCKED to learn that marijuana didn't make you go insane and that they had been lied to by their own government. The same is true for gay marriage. It does not turn little boys or girls gay. And just wait until we strip religion of it's bullshit and state categorically such facts as prayer does not work. It has never worked and it will never work and a whole bunch of you people have been lied to. Oh, by the way, you are not going to be immortal just because you cut the end of your son's dick off, or mutilated the genitalia of your girls, or did or didn't not eat shrimp or pig, or.....you get the point.

This is a unpressurized water heater...

 As the best I can discern, the colder water sinks into those tubes, is heated, then rises, only to be replaced by cooler water.

Notice he didn't mention the queers.

Wouldn't it be great to have a house next to this...

 I would just as much like to sit and look at that as mountains or ocean.

There are many historic cities who aren't pleased with these things sitting around....

Charleston, SC is one of them. They have an ordinance that no building in the historic district can be higher than some old church, but the cruise ships dwarfs everything and, I might add, make for photos of the city that look very much like the one above. 

We are a filthy species...

 This is Mount Everest...

Nepal is spending millions to clean it up. It seems tourists don't like walking over garbage dumps on the way up the mountain. Oh, and a whole bunch of that is raw shit, since there aren't any bathrooms.....yet. They will put in the bathrooms right before the cable car and KFC are completed.

Stereographic projection, a method originally used by cartographers to map the Earth...

Is that cool or what?

Bourton-on-the-Water, a village in Gloucestershire, has a model village you can walk through. The model village has a model model village. The model model village has a model model model village. And the model model model village has a model model model model village. They stopped before hitting the Matroyshka Limit.

Matroyshka Limit has to do with those dolls that fit inside one another.

I regret that I don't have close-ups of the tiniest little village, but apparently the guy writing the article didn't think we would find that interesting enough.

"...and it looks like you spent $80,000 on alcohol this year?" — my tax guy

FUN WITH LANGUAGE...

When I was 12 years old and got shot in the eye with a BB gun and everyone thought I was going to lose the eye, all I could think about is how cool it would be to wear an eye patch...

And that is true.

Some may find this harder than others...

Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

I still find those things amazing. I heard the other day that thousands of hunters, with permission (even encouragement) of the state, hunted for the snakes in the Everglades and after months they killed.....twelve.
By the way, that meal will probably last that snake a month or longer. All the while it just...hides.

 Be careful what you wish for, boys...

How to win the war on drugs:
1.  Legalize all drugs.
2.  Require that all drugs be purchased through Time Warner Customer Service.

Gentle Reader, I just ran portions of this post past my wife, specifically the lion ball licking thing. She came up with an astute observation that I feel the need to share with you good people.
There is no good reason that men should be the only humans to be able to lick their own genitalia. And if women could lick their own clitoris anytime they wanted, then procreation would cease immediately. Game over. Species extinction.
I thought that a rather accurate assessment.
So basically what we would have is men manipulating their genitalia whenever possible at the same time that women were stimulating their genitalia and to have sex together and thus survive as a species, the man would have to beg, cajole and bribe the woman to allow penis to vagina penetration and thus seed delivery...pretty fucking much like it is now.

Widsom...

Ya'll need to start writing that shit down.

Parking question above....87. It's upside down.