THURSDAY #2343

One Of My Very Own...

It's worth what it's worth.

I predict Tom will appeal and he will end up missing one game. The dollar amount of a penalty doesn't matter.

In other sporting news...
The 2015 Champions League final between Barcelona and Juventus will be played on Saturday 6 June at Berlin's Olympiastadion. The game will kick off at 7.45pm.
If anyone would like to bet, I'll take Barcelona and will probably have to spot Juventus a goal.
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My favorite bartender is leaving. She just graduated with a double major in Sociology and Criminal Justice. She wants to work for Homeland Security. She's already done a nine month internship in Washington. Her name is Katie and I will miss her dearly.
Had the privilege of taking her out to a very nice restaurant last night. Hopefully she will be able to get my name off all the government's lists.

Imagine Paris Hilton speaking French but throwing in a "like" every 20 seconds.

(seriously, do Europeans do that too?)

Portraits of Ordinary People in Unusual Locations by French Artist JR.

I've talked to you before about my feelings of (basically) gluing photographs to buildings and calling them murals. I would like to know if anyone else has an opinion about that.

 Here's the Amazon Drone that will deliver America to complete sedentariness...

Gentle Reader, I present pure joy...

You could get burned at the stake for this in the Middle Ages...

If you have not seen Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, please do so.

It's MISTER Bonzo to you...

When I walk into a room I can feel women clothing me with their eyes.

Many times half drunk men at bars let slip the word “bet,” as in ‘I bet they don’t score again’, or ‘I bet he doesn’t complete another pass.’ At that point I stare at them like they are the last zebra on the Serengeti. 

Yelling “Stay!” at a non-living object is a sure sign you have had too much to drink.

HOLY SHIT!!

Were you as horrified as I was before finding out there was water down there? 
And it's not that I enjoy showing you these things, but I do think you need to know just how easy it is to fuck yourself up. It's called situational awareness and it seems like very few of us appreciate it as a survival skill.

Blind mother-to-be with 3D ultrasound...

Speaking of getting fucked...

Something you don't see everyday.

Dogs doesn't want to go home...

Ladies, would you feel cheated if you took a man home and found out he was wearing one of these?

Now you know what a man feels like with your fake hair, fake eye lashes, fake bra padding, etc. 
Further, ladies, would you find a man who wore such fake muscles to be...what?....pathetic? Yeah, now let's do the old goose and gander talk...again.

A "death simulator" opened at the Window of the World amusement park in Shenzhen, China. 

 Once inside a coffin, players are then blasted by up to 40C hot air and light to create an authentic experience of cremation. 

When the “burning” is over, rider sees a womb projected on the ceiling and must crawl until they reach a large, white padded area – supposedly representing a womb – where they are “reborn”.

Who wouldn't want to do something like that. Pure genius.

A computer program designed by two scientists could one day be a weapon in the fight against antibiotic resistance in bacteria. Using complex algorithms, biologist Miriam Barlow of the University of California, Merced and mathematician Kristina Crona of American University in Washington, D.C. were able to prevent and actually reverse antibiotic resistance in a lab setting.

 Explorers working off the coast of Madagascar have uncovered a giant 120 lb silver ingot that they believe came from the wreck of the Adventure Galley, a ship used by the notorious 17th-century pirate Captain William Kidd.

Speaking of...

More than $150 million worth of gold treasure has been found in a centuries-old shipwreck discovered recently off the coast of Finland

How every computer sound system works...

Another thing that bothers me about modern life is that they have machines that can look at your bones, keep you alive with your heart removed, and grow new skin, but they still have to sick their finger up my ass to check my prostate.

There are two kinds of people in the world:

1)   Morning people

2)   People who want to shoot morning people

Want to guess what this is about before scrolling?

A water bottle with a yellow-crested cockatoo put inside for illegal trade. I'm assuming smuggling.

Never forget what I told you about doorways in earthquakes...

 Yeah, punctuation is that important...

Boy Syrup...hehehehehehe.

If I had a dollar for every time I needed a dollar I would never need a dollar.

Another just plain good idea...

I've posted this before...

But what I want you to see is the look of one guilty somebitch...

 And his father who knows he has his son by the balls for years...

The best part about drinking outdoors is that you can’t get thrown out.

Think this is silly?

No more silly than allowing women sports reporters in men's dressing rooms after the big game, but denying men the right to go in the women's dressing room. Goose/Gander; Goose/Gander.

Authorities in Bangladesh appear to be winning the battle to stop men from urinating in public by putting up signs in Arabic, which is regarded by Muslim Bengalis as a sacred language. 

 That was rather clever. But I wonder how you write "Don't piss on the wall" in a sacred language.

 A repost for my newer viewers...

That's probably how the riders of that train in Philadelphia felt.

The Fermi Paradox — Where Are All The Aliens?

If you are interested in the Fermi Paradox, watch this 6 min clip...

Someone else just trying to add some humor into the world...

Selfie Sticks are the fanny packs of 2015.

Thinky Thingys...