TUESDAY RT 1 #2401GA

One Of My Very Own...

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 

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My wife would like me to ask you to stop telling me I’m funny.

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This is a great idea for a reuse of an old refrigerator.

 I would put two heavy duty hasps on both sides - including the hinge side - to make it very hard to break into. I know that robbers could take the whole box, but I'm betting they don't have a truck waiting or the equipment.

Jim Reed, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

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Another puzzle to solve. Answers later.

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My wife asked me if I wanted to know how I would die. I said I would not, and she said, “Oh, okay then.”

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Saw a collection of ancient art on stone. Here are a few normal examples.

 Then there was this intimate scene said to be between 3 and 8 thousand years old.

One person washes another's hair, and between them is a vessel possibly containing a hair conditioner of rancid butter.

I....I am almost speechless! The spear laying on the ground in so perfect. The crossed legs, her posture is...well...perfect. The shape of the bend of the spines is...perfect. The more or less perfect facial profiles.

I am so sorry, but I find that hard to believe. I want to believe...I really, really do. And I have seen the perfect lion heads in other caves. But that one just sends up alarm bells and I don't like the feeling of me being so skeptical. 

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 I've stated many times that Americans are over-criminalized.

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If you are an asshole at Jurassic Park, you will be eaten by a dinosaur. I guarantee it.

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I'm not much of a whiner. I think that whiners are just admitting that they have lost control of their lives. But I have to tell you that I steal a whole bunch off the internet and I simply don't have time to double check if it's all correct. I increase my chances by going to good sites and hope for the best. I really do respect the folks that set me straight when I screw up and try to make my mistakes known to my viewers.

Moving on...

There is a hidden stack of pancakes on every 5$ bill.

 And...Alaska is big. How big?

Shit I bet you never imagined.

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Made my wife watch part of this movie:

Jack Nicholson and Boris Karloff in The Terror. It was worse than awful. Let that be a lesson to you guys not to give up after one embarrassing attempt.

When I went to Google images to find an image from the movie, I came upon that one with this wonderful caption:

  "So then I said 'Rectum hell, damn near killed 'em!"

God I love the internet!

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Want to fuck with a Christian? Ask them to describe to you exactly what will happen during the Rapture.  And if they manage to survive that, ask them to tell you exactly what heaven is like. It's normally very entertaining. Especially since they are basing their whole world view on their inability to answer the question.

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The motherly instincts of this dog has kicked in and apparently extends to crustaceans. 

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If human beings could do this the whole human race would have died out in a generation or two.

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Come on, Scully, just a quick probing. All the cool aliens are doing it.

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I had no idea elephants could do this with their eyes.

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You know you should lower your cholesterol when your piss smells like buttered popcorn.

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I'm not much for giving product advice...

But there is a reason that all those people who clean oil off ducks and shit use Dawn. It is, by far, the greatest oil dissolving substance known to man. My first wife taught me...many, many years ago...that if you put half of one drop on your thumb and forefinger, you can clean both lenses of your glass to perfection. 

If you want to try it, buy a very small bottle of this miracle, cause you won't need much and it is the best glasses cleaner I have ever seen.

By the way, everyone I have told about this has come back thanking me.

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Nobody gives a crap how good a rake you can make when all they want is a leaf flower.

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Venus de Milo Action Figure

You go girl.

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If you can imagine such a thing, this (previously posted)  terrifying abyss is wheelchair accessible.

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This could be quite helpful for you do it yourselfers.

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 (I have no idea why I posted that.)

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In the opinion of people who know, this allowed us to win the Second World War.

World War II German Enigma Machine.

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Nice.

 And I am going to assume, extremely hard to do.

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 The most terrifying hotel in the world? You decide

 It's in Peru. It's suspended over a "sacred valley." Seriously. A valley still warrants the title sacred after we have sent robots to Mars and regularly put one person's heart into another person's chest? Really?

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At my age I tend to remember thinks that I was told many years ago. A young woman once told me that she could gather in the den with her family, her on the floor in front of the TV, and she could do exactly what that cartoon is doing and bring herself to orgasm. And I had no reason to doubt her.

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Something that looks very much like a OOMVO.

And I found that wonderful.

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I have too many old friends that I haven't heard from lately. If you don't know my email address, just send me a personal message in comments and I won't post them.

(added later) My email address is at the top of each post. Duh.

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Gentle Reader, I give you the work of Igor Chekachkov.

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The reason most guys can’t suck their own dicks is because all the ones who could seldom reproduced.

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Old photos like this make me think.

Try to imagine all the shit that that child doesn't know. No Nazis. No moon landing. No Salk vaccine. It just blows my mind that I have genes in my body of someone just like that.

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I have used ploys like that. My favorite, and most effective, was to speak softer as the message got more important. With children, by the time I was whispering, they were leaning toward me almost out of their seats...eyes wide. Then I knew I had them. 

SIDE NOTE: Many of my old students are now in college and work at one of my bars...which is kind of a hoot. Anyway, they all tell me the EXACT lessons they liked most and the funniest joke I told them and how, from time to time I would just take them outside to smell the Spring.

Did I mention that I really, really love young people? I love their potential and with potential there is power. 

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This is only posted because it brought back memories of some of the awful places I have made art.

My studio was once in the downstairs garage of a rental that flooded ankle-high every time it rained. I would just keep everything off the floor and wear rubber boots.

I loathed that place.

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I try not to tell people how to live their lives. I just tell them stories, and hope they figure out how those stories apply to them.

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 Make of that what you wish.

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My man Johnny in a photo I've never seen.

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Some of you people may be too young to remember that once upon a time an automobile accident over 50 MPH normally meant certain death.

 In high school we were shown images even worse than this next one.

None of it had any effect on our driving whatsoever. Sort of like anti-drug messages nowadays.

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That kind of thing happens to me and my wife all the time.  I bring in some very strange art thing and ask her if I can, say, screw it to her kitchen door...and she says, "Sure, honey, put it were you like."

Life is good.

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Advicings...

The puzzle:

If you flip the 2 and place it next to the other 2 it forms a fish. The two 3s done the same way make and 8 and two 7s make a triangle.

So let's settle this once and for all.

We devise a test and invite a hundred people from every major religion. Then we have each group pray to win. Then we just count the scores and declare who is and who is not listened to by god.