MONDAY #2400

One Of My Very Own...

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 

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Kenny Stabler died Friday at the age of 69. While playing quarterback for the University of Alabama he drank all night long before a bowl game; showed up in the dressing room just in time to change into his uniform; and then went out on the field and won the bowl game. My kind of guy.

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I saw a bumper sticker that read “War is not the answer," but what if the question was: What song do we know Edwin Starr for?

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I was talking to a new young friend...very bright girl, but when I tried to talk movies with her, she was sorely lacking. I made a list of movies that every human on earth should watch and here are the ones she has not seen:

Airplane

Young Frankenstein

Blazing Saddles

Blues Brothers
The Shining

Doctor Zhivago

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I'm a straight dude and I love romantic movies. But ones that are easy to follow, with lame plots, and a lot of nudity. Porn. I like porn.

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 Great photo...awful reality.

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Try The New McDonalds™ Double Bacon Something Whatever I Don't Know Anymore But You're Gonna Eat It Anyways You Fat Piece Of Shit

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Contestants of a tourism beauty pageant balance eggs on their collarbones. They believe that if slim enough, their collarbones will allow them to balance the eggs securely on their bodies.

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What happens in Hanoi, stays in Hanoi

 You think they ate dog?

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I have trust issues because my dentist has bad breath.

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Crazy girlfriends are like chocolate. They will kill your dog.

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Fearing break ins of his brand new van...

 Guy had it wrapped to look old.

 And he nailed it.

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Almost cleansed the gene pool of one more idiot...

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Don’t stare at her breasts.

Stare at her shoes.

Then when she looks down, check out her tits.

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Feminist - what would girls like this do for a living if they didn't do this?

What other skills does she have to sell? You think she can drive a truck? Remove a tumor? Kick a soccer ball? I think not. She is doing the only thing she knows how to do.

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I think we can all agree that this shit has gone on too long.

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This is very hard to read, but it shows the number of nuclear warheads in existence.

But numbers, being important, aren't the most important part. Size is paramount. The last generation hydrogen bombs destroys hundreds of times more than the bombs dropped on Japan. 

(I hope that song is still playing. If not, go back and crank it up again.)

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There is a lot of sites about this "conspiracy".

RH - How about they learned from Katrina that our country needs pre-existing camps for displaced people. Or am I just being too rosy?

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Look at that goo on his face. It's all just so silly.

Now go back and re-read the comment on the posing girl and apply it to him.

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This should be illegal.

I once had a medical condition that simply would not allow me to traverse such a staircase. When I was still under its spell, I would freak out driving down a road with shadows of trees casted across the pavement. 

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There are fewer than 118 people in the US with the last name Demonskull.

(that's true)

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 Swedish artist Susanna Hesselberg has built a library that descends into the ground like a rabbit hole.

I think the hole is not all that deep. The black illusion of depth is accomplished with flat black spray paint. 

Interestingly, I was not all that impressed with her other work. Oh, well.

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One of my bartenders is visiting Romania and sent me this...

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When my wife eats, it is the food that is scared.

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This is a criminal. These are his Facebook pics.

 This one shows the scars from his heart replacement surgery.

 Not sure how I feel about that.

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"Only This Can" is the advertising slogan for Benjamin Moore Paint. That's pretty damn clever.

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 A riot somewhere.

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Maybe I am senile already and people are too kind to tell me. But people are not kind and would tell me. (Maybe people have told me, and I’m too senile to remember)

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Read an interesting article that posits that our farm animals wouldn't stand a chance if we took all the meds away. What a cluster fuck. 

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The Dread Gun

I had no idea such a thing was even possible.

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I want so badly for this to be true...

Well, he looks none the worse for wear.

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 Know what we call this?

Drone bait.

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If we exhale more than inhale we feed the plants. This will end world hunger.

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Phrasing. It's all about phrasing...

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I wanted to rape and pillage, but the girls were all willing.

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This is what I was looking for on Google images so I typed in "Ball Gag." 

I shouldn't have done that.

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I hardly ever post anything about these kind of people, but I liked this one...

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In my neighborhood, if you had brand name cereal you were rich.

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Forest fire blanket...

Because if you are going to burn to death, you might as well look delicious.

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A Sentence Just For You...

I do not hate god or Christians. This is the kind of crap I hate. Children must be protected from this corruption.