About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, August 14, 2015

FRIDAY #2432

One Of My Very Own…

That explosion in China.....damn.

Can we assume that since all the cars are the same that it's a new car lot?
There were people who thought it was an atomic bomb.
I wonder why such dangerous stuff is stored that close to where people live and work.

I need help.
This is how my cart is charged.
There is a port cover that I have cleverly modified.
 Lifting that up reveals the male plug in.
 You, of course, put a female end of an extension cord into the port.
 But you have to seat it very deep into the deep recession.
 And it's very hard to pull out, even the oversized one I'm using now. Consequently, the wires get pulled out of the plug....over and over and over again.
 You can imagine how much harder it is to unplug with normal sized female ends.
 What I think I need is an adaptor or a built-in plug handle like this to aid in extraction.
Any help anyone could give me would be greatly appreciated.

Item 2:

I lost a $10 bet to my wife. On our trip she was talking to someone and described her car as BLUE. I said, "Your car is gray."
That began a days long argument that culminated in a diner in Maine. I said (rather foolishly now that I've had time to think about it) that I would bet my $10 to her $1 that I could ask anyone in the diner what color her car was and they would say GRAY.
About that time the waitress walked up and my wife pointed to her car and asked the young woman what color the car was. That color blind bitch said, "BLUE."
I paid off the debt, but still have issues with the loss. I will let you decide.
Is this fucking car BLUE?!


Guy: I’m looking for that new book for men with small dicks.

Librarian: I don’t think it’s in yet.

Guy: Yeah, that’s the one.

If you don't think that is funny, please get off my blog. You don't belong here.

> This kid is having his American flag taken away only seconds after having his "No More Police Brutality" sign taken away.

White students in Birmingham, Alabama, drag an African American effigy past West End High School, on September 12, 1963. Two African American girls attended the desegregated school and a majority of the white students were staying away from classes. Police stopped this car in a segregationist caravan in front of the school to caution them about fast driving and blowing auto horns in front of a school.

It is all just so stupid.
Yeah, like Soul, Rhythm and Blues, Rock and Roll, Jazz and now Bee Bop.

I read that the surface (or the entire thing) was more like a huge pile of gravel than solid ground because of the extremely low gravity.


Welcome to America.


"We have a name for locking people up and forcing them to do real work without wages. It's called slavery."


So, what's up with massive hydro in the extreme northwest?
And look, they put the wind turbines where the wind is. But why does Illinois have so much more power generation than its neighboring states?


Sadly, you never get the stalkers you want.


Controlled right from your smartphone.

 "What's my mom yelling about?"
That little fawn is alive for the very same reason there are pieces of Bo Jangle's fried chicken sitting in the warmer getting stale. Mine and the leopard's temporary lack of hunger.

And you will never guess who paid her to do it.
 In 1964, Margaret Howe Lovatt began to live with one of the animals full-time as part of a NASA-funded study about interspecies communication.

By the way, think about how much different the headline would read if it were rearranged this way: Woman had sex and lived with a dolphin.


Most parents pack an apple in their children’s lunch just so it can get out of the house for a few hours.



Do you know why married women weigh more? Single women go home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women go home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 We call this game Panna. 
You have to kick the ball between another players legs, then he has to get to a safe zone while the rest kick him.


Fire suppression system.
Well, do you see any fire?

I do see this just about every day.
People moaning about their plight, then taking no action to do anything about it. I call these people losers.

Then there are the people who will do, smell like, wear, talk like, etc, everything advertisers tell them to do.
In America we call these people well-adjusted.
America, where original thought is unpatriotic.

There's a new sheriff in town.
Just another white boy harassing the black guy.


This from a serious study:

Machines are likely to take over 47 percent of today’s jobs within a few decades. This is a dire prediction, but one whose consequences will not fall upon society evenly.
 Most doomed: truck drivers. Also doomed: construction, carpentry. Surprisingly doomed: commodity trading and legal writing. The key questions seem to be: Is your task routine?

Maori Businessman

I don't have a homosexual bone in my body, but if I did...
("bone" in my "body")

Both of my wives teamed up to write this helpful guide.

As I understand it, at several hundred light years the signal is so weak that it just blends in with the background noise.




Anonymous said...

The car IS BLUE so just accept that and move on.

Anonymous said...

The car is gray. Women have multiple shades of every color where a guy has the same eight colors you get in a kindergartners crayons. Ask a guy and you'll get gray ask a woman and you'll get blue or one of ten variations of blue. B Baggins

Anonymous said...

What does the registration say the color is?

Jim Reed said...

You don't still paint any murals in black, white and grey I hope? It would end up looking like a cloudless sky over an endless ocean...with shading. I'd blame your brother for shooting you in the eye.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Anon,
Great idea but no good.
Coaxed the wife out of my Lazy Boy to get the registration and not one word about color. You get an E for Enginuity.

MacGyver said...

Ralph, regarding your electrical plug dilemma:
Obtain a length of 1/8" or 3/16" nylon cord, 12" to 18" long, and tie small loops in each end - bowline knots would work well, or a doubled overhand knot. Thread each of the plug's two clamping screws through one of the loops, forming a soft U-shaped grab that will pull symmetrically on the clamp/plug rather than the electrical cord. The soft nylon is non-conductive and will not scratch paint. The nylon grab can also be wrapped around the bundled cord when not plugged in, to secure it on a hook.

Andy said...

How far does the plug go into the socket? Couldn't you put longer screws in the clamp that attaches the replacement end to the cord and attach a handle to that?


It is grey.

Ralph Henry said...

Electrical Plug Problem
Thanks everybody! Tomorrow I'm going to go with the nylon cord pull loop extraction method. Have a great weekend.

Ted Opal said...

"But why does Illinois have so much more power generation than its neighboring states?"

Because in Chicago they are so stupid they only know where the light "on" switch is but can't find the "off" switch.....

unfortunately i live just north of chiraq!

Spider Borland said...

If it's not in the manual or registration, there should be a sticker on the inside driver door panel. It should list at least a code for it's color.

I've posted the picture to my facebook and am getting stuff like "Metallic Silver."

It is true, though, that women just naturally can see more colors than men. You and I might disagree, but it's a scientific fact.

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