FRIDAY #2465

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

THERE WILL BE POST THIS WEEKEND.

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The USA Today has a section with one small paragraph about each state. I only read two: South Carolina, cause I live there, and Alabama, cause I used to live there. Here is another reason I read Alabama...they are often hilarious.
"Michael Panik used online crowdfunding to raise $10 to buy himself a 20-piece Chicken McNugget meal at McDonalds."

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Oral sex probably became a lot more popular after soap was invented.

> What are the chances?

Probably less than the Earth being hit by a giant astroid.

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How many hiccups equals a sit-up?

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Get it?

Vladimir Pudding.
( I apologize for that. I had a lapse in judgement. )

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Known as the XM42, can shoot fire over 25 feet and has more than 35 seconds of burn time per tank of fuel. With a full tank of fuel, it weighs just 10 pounds.

There are no current federal regulations on the possession, manufacture, sale, or use of flamethrowers.

Hell, you could hunt and cook at the SAME TIME!!
JRW, I want a full report.

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It's called Contact Juggling

I think that is a skill worth learning.
And doesn't he look thrilled about it?

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Next time you are hesitant to share an idea, just remember, someone once said, “Let’s make a movie with a tornado full of sharks.”

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You can use your dog as a towel even with guests present. There's no specific law against it.

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Those were some funny ass motherfuckers.

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Have you ever loved someone so much that you would tell them if you dropped their toothbrush in the toilet?

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No report as to why he would want to do such a thing.

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My wife has an eating disorder. She eats dis order of this and dis order of that.

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What a clever way to solve a universal problem.

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"I love to collect big, expensive white basketball shoes!!!!"

- someone with the opposite brain of me

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Wind conditions at my desk have never necessitated a paperweight.

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Looked through a photo essay of converging rivers of different colors.

Then I came to this.

The Green River is appropriately named.

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That's what I call a screenshot.

Told my bartender this story and she had trouble believing me, so we looked him up.

Then I said, "When I told you that story, did you automatically know it was a black kid?" She said yes, and I admitted that I had also.

Speaking of selfies.

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Ten fucking years?! I guess he saved a lot on toilet paper.

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Want to guess what this is?

Secret gadget to bust prohibition-era speakeasies.

But it reminds me of the bartender who stole from the bar by bringing vodka in an enema bag under his arm under his coat with the tube running down his sleeve. When a cash customer ordered a drink, he would make it with his own liquor and pocket the money.

He got caught by an elderly couple hired by the company to sit at the bar and watch him.

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You have to hand it to T-Rex.

Think about that a minute.

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At some point in history, every word was a made up word.

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The Teardrop, situated in New York, was a gift from the people of Russia to the USA, honoring those who died on 9/11.
What a wonderful design that speaks volumes. The sympathy game is strong with this one.

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Guy rates vacant lots.

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That picture of yourself that you hate now will look better than the best possible picture of you in five years. Just saying.

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No details on this as to why the heads are missing.

Maybe he just was good at faces.
Which reminds me...
I was once in a psychology class and took a test that consisted of drawing several things like a house, tree and a person. Being an artist, my drawings were much better than the rest of the class. But then he explained what they meant, such as not drawing hands on the person indicates that I have something to hide. I said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't want to draw hands because I'm not very good at it." And that smart sumbitch said, "And you were hiding that by putting the hands in his pockets."

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Bus stops left over from the USSR

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Two-thirds of America's Funniest Home Video winners spent their prize money on heroin.

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Somebody has to help me with this. It came without even a caption.

The bridge does not lead anywhere.
The balloons couldn't be holding that up...could they?
But I like it anyway.

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I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can safely look away from the road while driving.

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It's a Packer fan joke.

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Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't the rest of you take "How to eat a fucking sandwiches without choking" course?

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I'm not exactly sure what this is trying to teach me.