About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

TUESDAY #2455


One Of My Very Own…


Hey, Jude...



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Any of you guys want to contribute to a weekend post? Got something you want to say, but don’t want to use your name. Here’s the time and the place to get it off your chest. I can’t promise to post every single thing submitted, but as long as it’s not off the wall evil I will let you have your say. The rules are simple, if you have an opinion about religion it will go into the Anti-Sermon whether it is pro or con. If it is political or whatever, I will put it in Saturday’s post.  My email address is above or you can leave an anonymous comment and I will copy and paste it without posting it the normal way. Let’s see what happens.

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I have mentioned the guy who “accused” me of posting things he had already seen on other sites. Jesus fucking Christ, where does he think I get all this stuff…make it all up myself. Also I work several days in advance, so something I select to post, say, next Friday, may go viral in the interim. I can’t control that, but can live with it. My selections of items to post come in two categories: A) Things I want to illustrate a discussion, and B) Just plain interesting images. That’s it. Mystery solved.

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Got an email that a guy named Gary had found one of my Key Packets. I replied: 


HA! Gary, you found my favorite packet. The wife and I were staying in the end room right next to the tree. That evening when it was just about dark, I screwed it to the tree. The next morning while we were packing the truck, a small crowd gathered to discuss the mysterious packet. Finally one guy got the proper screwdriver and removed it. After they left, on the way out, I stopped and put another in the exact same place. My wife and I both laughed out loud thinking about it like some sort of black ops mission. Anyway, you must have found the second one. Thanks for contacting me.
He emailed back:
I put it back as I found it.


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I was sent an excellent article on Israel's occupation of the West Bank. What they are doing is no different from what Russia is doing in the Ukraine.




WHO WANTS TO PLAY A GAME?

Identify each of the following. I have given the answer in white font below each image; just highlight to read.
From the movie "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" in the style of Surratt. ]

Just a dead fish washed up?
[ Those are grizzly bears eating on a whale. ]

Anyone?

Someone slipped a dollar in my g-string. I feel viola-ted]


????

[ How to place eight Queens on a chessboard so that none of them can attack each other? ]


Recognize this man?
Canadian actor Douglas Rain voice of Hal, in 2001. ]




[ Organ Freeman ]


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I asked a young server how she was doing and she smiled and said, “I finally got a comma in my bank balance."


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Kind of reminds me of my honeymoon.

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 PHOTOGRAPHY


Where is the foot washing guy?



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Dorothy: "Scarecrow, I think I'll miss you most of all."

Tin-Man: "I literally JUST got a heart and you already ruined it."

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Nukes did keep us out of a World War for several generations. We may all have scars from the fear, but we are still alive.

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By my calculations, I have worn 16.7 acres of denim during my lifetime.


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My proctologist gave me two thumbs up, which I did not appreciate at all.


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"The moral of the story is you don't go on the piss with five drunken Samoans while wearing an ankle bracelet." The fact that young people leave school without having learned this vital information is an indictment of our education system.


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MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.


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Yeah, sure you’re made of starstuff, but so is garbage.

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 Read the caption at the bottom.

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Fireworks to be seen in the day time.
That's a pretty damn good idea.

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 Oh, my.
And there are people whose first thoughts are of how much it costs. I pity those people.

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 It's a Paso Fino, known and bred for this gait. I am thrilled that they didn't have to be coerced into doing that.


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Like a boss.
 I would have liked to have taught that kid. God, I love children with elan.

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What a guy.
It's called acting.

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One little letter.

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Fucking With Snooty Waiters - #84:

ME: I'll have a steak

WAITER: How would you like that cooked?

ME: Uhh…with fire or some kind of heat? *rolls eyes*

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When my wife tells me I need to go somewhere I really don't want to go to, then says there will be an open bar.

(I found that very funny)

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I showed a woman a picture of my dick once. She said it looked like a stillborn rabbit.


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Watch the guy on the left.
 Now this is how you're supposed to aerobics when you're on vacation.


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Does this look like what I think it looks like?


"You know something like this will be used by bad people for bad things," a major said, adding that he thought it was "unthinkable" such a device would be sold to the general public.
( I thought this was America goddamnit! )


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The Land Art movement was part of the anti-gallery uprising of iconoclastic artists in the 1960s and 1970s.


Muralists share their loathing of galleries.

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So what? You ever seen what polio does to a kid?

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"Love me do" is my favorite song written by Yoda.


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Of course it is, dearie.

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The fastest shoelace knot.
Notice that the string is wrapped around his fingers in opposite directions. That's the trick to just grabbing the other and wa-la.

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When your gay buddy gives you a dildo in front of everyone at your birthday party.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

In regards to you getting off your ass and posting on weekends again.....Well Done
B Baggins

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