One Of My Very Own…
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An update...
The tallest man in history,
Robert Wadlow, age ten. Pictured along with his father and standing at 6 ft. 5
in. (1929). He grew up to be 8 ft. 11in. and died at the age of 22, still
growing.
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"What...ah, is in the box?"
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I loathe these little boxes.
But there is a price to pay. I also have a look and see option on the comments, which means they come to me in an email and I decide whether to post it or not. Here's why.
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A belated Labor Day message.
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Tuesday night I watched Brazil kick USA's ass in soccer. Their third goal was a thing of sheer beauty.
"All girls dress the
same"
Good little minions all.
Shaving strips in your eyebrow is the next hot trend.
Shaving strips in your eyebrow is the next hot trend.
...I'm told.
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Want to guess what this is?
Cooling Tower?
Smoke stack?
Missile silo?
The inside of the Leaning
Tower of Pisa.
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I hate to tell you so, but I hate you more so I will.
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A topless woman walks through
Bryant Park following the protest march called the GoTopless Day Parade Sunday,
August 23, 2015, in New York. The parade took to the streets to counter critics
who are complaining about topless tip-seekers in Times Square. Appearing
bare-breasted is legal in New York. But Mayor Bill de Blasio and police
Commissioner Bill Bratton say the body-painted women in the square who take
photos with tourists are a nuisance.
Here's my take. If most women started walking around topless, breast would lose their allure. I base that on what happened to ankles, knees, collarbones, etc., in another generation.
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The first woman ever put to
death by the Federal Government.
Mary Surratt, 42, proprietor
of a Maryland tavern and a Washington boarding house that served as meeting
places and safe houses for Confederate spies and couriers. She was found guilty
for her part in Lincoln's assassination.
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People have told me that black people were the "marked" descendants of Cain damned in the bible.
People have told me that black people were the "marked" descendants of Cain damned in the bible.
I kind of believed it for a while, but I was only 8 years old and I did live in Alabama.
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Be my guest...
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Make blankets twice as wide, cut divorce rate in half.
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Do you wanna watch two
monkeys escape a group of angry natives by riding a warthog to safety? Of course you
do!
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Many Americans don’t eat anything that hasn’t been microwaved. Like Applebee's.
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These women just climbed a real mountain...
But as I understand it, they changed into that get up after they reached the summit.
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If it read: “Neil deGrasse Tyson taking a piss,” would you
click it open?
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One of the funniest warnings I have ever seen was on a disposable shower cap in a hotel: USE ON ONE HEAD AT A TIME.
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Before you can achieve tumescence, you have to figure out
what tumescence is.
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People have a lot of fun with this.
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Even if you disagree with his politics you have to admit
that for a second term president he doesn't even look pregnant.
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That reminds me of one of my favorite stories, about the ex-drug smuggler who was stopped and was asked if the cops could look in the trunk. The guy opened the trunk and as the cops searched the guy started laughing. The cop asked, "What's so funny?" And the guy said, "You got the right guy, you're just 20 years too late."
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These are Carved Pearls
Well, of course they are.
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A waiter placed my wife’s plate in front of her and asked,
“Anything else?"
She shot back, “YOU CAN GET ME MY HAPPY FACE PANCAKES LIKE
I FUCKING ORDERED!”
The waiter rotated her plate.
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The advantage of emotion is that it leads us
astray.
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Noodle Making Robot…with a
human touch…
That's fucking unbelievable.
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In terms of pure instant relief, canceling plans is like
heroin.
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And, believe it or not, the inspectors became suspicious.
La Coiffeuse, a Picasso
painting worth $15 million that was recovered by customs officials and returned
to its owner, a Parisian art museum.
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And she looked anything but happy about it.
That woman weighs half as much as a car.
That woman weighs half as much as a car.
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One can only hope he goes to
prison for 27 years as well.
It is just so absurd. Just another man who is very easy to hate.
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Bill Gates has given $100
billion. But he thinks people who give their time give more.
He explained that he eats anything he wants, flies around in his own jet, lives in a nice house, etc, proving that giving all that money was really no sacrifice at all.
People who move to an Africa village to help dig wells are giving far more than he is, because they are giving all they have.
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Have you ever heard of this?
It was a huge solar event in 1859. So big that if it happened today we could lose our grid and then all bets are off and we start re-watching all those apocalypse movies to get tips.
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Fucking with a guy who's just
about to drop in a virtual reality roller coaster.
Did you notice that it wasn't until the FIFTH person came to assist that someone figured out to remove that thing on his head?
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Never go to the dog park if your ringtone is a door bell.
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I really like this guy. He hangs around my home town every once in a while and even though I've never met him, other people tell me he doesn't have a pretentious or arrogant bone in his body.
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Bio-luminescent defense
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I once offered my kids $5 to clean so they could learn
about money and then didn't pay them so they could learn about randomly
trusting people.
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Nice attitude.
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Princess Amalia, the future
queen of the Netherlands, off to public high school alone on her bicycle.
How refreshing.
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Good news: It works the other way around. I entered
"internal bleeding" & "unconscious" in WebMD and it
said I have a stuffy nose.
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Music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.
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The original caption read: "Most ghetto trailer I've ever seen."
I completely disagree. The front end is attached with very cheap, but effective, rivets. The tongue could be bought and welded for a hundred or so dollars. You have a sealed compartment, with heavy duty axle, three access doors, tie-down bars on the roof, and tail and brake lights. I think it's a great idea.
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This actually works...
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