About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015


One Of My Very Own…

 That one was so bad I went to the next one, which isn't any better.
They can't all be gems.

Sweet Caroline...

A comment exchange I had about the ISIS flag protest:

He: I wish I was so regular that I could plan to poop on a flag, coordinate said poop with another person and then do it.

Me: Dear Anon, You might want to work on that wish list of yours...it needs some real help.

"If you gain 10 pounds this month, you don't say, 'Repeal gravity!"

3D printed chessmen planters.


"Grandma is 99, with horrible, violent Alzheimer's, hitting, shitting and so sad. We are a cruel society. She needs to go with dignity."


The first known African American to publish literature, he was a lifelong slave of the Lloyd family on Long Island. He was a servant who was a clerk in the family business, a farmhand, and an artisan. He was allowed to attend school and was a devout Christian, as were the Lloyds. His first published poem was written on Christmas Day, 1760.
That guy is posed just like the man in my calendar.


A model who poses for tips wearing body paint and underwear poses for a portrait in Times Square in New York, August 19, 2015. She declined to give her name. New York officials including Governor Andrew Cuomo are considering measures to curtail the activity, according to local media. (Photo by Carlo Allegri/Reuters)
My guess is, if women routinely walked around topless, in a short time men wouldn't even notice....like 5 or 10 years....or 50...50 years.

America is fine with breasts, it’s nipple that don’t like. But we all have nipples, but only women have the jug part. How does that make sense?

Remember him?
 Purchase Buffalo Bill's Place for $300,000.

Do you think the basement was real or faked for the movie? I think faked.

The reminds me of the NASA lady dolphin fucker.
 Once you've had human you won't go back.

And a related story is is supposed to be true:

According to an article in the Palestinian daily al-Quds, Israel has "recruited a watery pet, the dolphin, known for his friendship with humans, to use for operations to kill Qassam Brigade Naval Commandos." The article reports that Hamas's Qassam operatives found surveillance devices on a dolphin's back.

You don't suppose they fucked them to death?


This is the way I looked when my wife said, "I cleaned off your desk in your office. It just looked so untidy."

If you've never had four queens beaten by a small well hidden straight flush, then this will make no sense to you...


At the top of my bucket list is jacking off in the bathroom at the Vatican.


Give this next one enough time...

What kind of life goals does this guy have? Seriously.
Look at that again. It's incredible.


Airports are my idea of heaven. There are bars everywhere, plenty of seating, and people of every race and color, but none of them are poor.


Nisiyama Onsen Keiunkan

Might look kinda plain, but this hotel has been in operation since 705. For serial. It has been operated by 52 generations of the same family



What amazing animals. Do you think they use that thing for hunting? With such a magnificent horn as that, you would think it would hunted to extinction by now. I bet grounded up it will make your dick get hard.


Comparison of T. rex and emu feet


Ever since the “incident” I can always check the back seat before I get naked driving down the interstate.

No, I can not "just accept." 

I watched something like this recently.
It was of a busy airport with several thunder storms in the area, and it plainly (no pun intended) showed aircraft flying around them in perfect sync. Then the storm moved directly over the airport and dozens of planes were sent to calm sky and flew around in circles until the storm moved out. It may not sound so impressive, but it was.

 There has to be a logical explanation.


People who hate classical music don’t deserve any symphony.



Anyone who says that money can’t buy happiness never had enough of it.


Bellerby & Co. Globemakers
 Custom made and beautiful.
Very labor intensive.


Surprisingly, I have not yet mastered the art of drinking while lying down.



Who thought it would be a good idea to measure olive oil in virginity?


War is hell.


It’s called karma and it’s spelled, Ha ha ha fuck you.

"Up to."
 Interesting phrasing. "Up to" could be...twenty-five...or two.
By the way, I think you have to use cotton cord and I would tie a loop on the end and notch the end of a stick or wooden spoon handle. Then holding the string tense insert the stick taking the string with it. The remove.

Things I like to think are true.
 I kind of want this to be true also.


Anonymous said...

Who's to say that Grandma didn't plan on being a "hitting, shitting, violent convalescent home terror"? I, personally, plan on racing my wheelchair and foregoing pants whenever the grandchildren aren't visiting.


Spider Borland said...

Life goals? Harvard is $60k a year. Accepted to Harvard without a scholarship... no thank you.

Ralph Henry said...

Spider, me and my stoolmates at the bar had it figured he (she) was a shoo-in due to donations or family alumni and the applicant just said, "Thanks, Dad, but I got shit to do, you know?"

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