About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, October 2, 2015

FRIDAY #2479


One Of My Very Own…



THERE WILL BE POSTS THIS WEEKEND.


 And you know what adds insult to tragedy? Everyone in South Carolina who read that headline knew...KNEW that the shooter was black.
 That's no racism, that's past observation and a normal learning curve.

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Now pay attention.
I am not an alarmist. But I do respect the opinions of the experts. My home is under threat of a 1000 year rain event. That was not a typo....a 1000 YEAR RAIN EVENT!
My wife's stores are in a bowl, so I'm pretty sure they are going to flood. They are talking about 12 to 18 inches a day FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS!! I will, of course, keep you informed. Wish us luck, but if it is real bad I might have a special post tomorrow.

On a side note of the story above, my wife took a picture of my Scottish friend, Eddie, cleaning all the roof drains in preparation for the epic event we are all dreading.

I will remind you of a story about Eddie. 
I explained to him (as he sat next to me on a barstool) that I once hired a young woman from Ireland to help me on some murals and she hated the British more than I have ever hated anything. I then asked, "Do people in Scotland hate the British as much as the Irish." And without even turning in my direction, Eddie said, "Yes," then took another sip of his beer.

And I feel a need to explain something to you Gentle Readers. My wife is very concerned about her business having to close for a while, but not just for the fact that we would lose the income...we are comfortably cushioned, but because all those young people who work for her who live paycheck to paycheck would be penniless, maybe for weeks. Pretty serious shit, folks.



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I just watched the new Mad Max. I am convinced that the greatest job in the world would be designing all those vehicles in the movie. I mean, damn.

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Anti-Nazi demonstration in Berlin, 1932

We aren't taught much about that part of the whole messy affair.

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TRUE: An old guy had on two black shoes, but they did not match. They were both tie-ups, but two completely different styles. I asked him about it and he gave a completely rational reason. Give it a shot and I will tell you later.
Hint: It's not he just didn't give a shit. That was my guess.

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Great mosaics
Most such work is oh so symmetrical. That is great in its rule breaking. 

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PHOTOGRAPHY

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Almost didn't post this.
 I wasn't sure if it was real or not. But then...neither do you. The birds bring the seeds, the coconuts wash up, then life finds a way.

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Just the biggest goddamn plane in the world landing in a crosswind at Fuck That Shit Airport in the country of Nopeistan. I want you to notice how close to the ground the engines get. I wonder if the pilots ever shit themselves?

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How Charlie Chaplin created one of his most famous film illusions.
I think those are called mats and they worked very well for a long, long time.

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Roman Roads. 
And they still exist today. I look at that and think about one mile of interstate highway costing a million dollars. In Roman money, what did the thousands of miles cost them?
Oh, yeah, slavery.

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Battles of the American Civil War
Surprisingly, to me anyway, South Carolina (who started the war) had very few battles. But the fact is that Sherman burned Columbia to the ground. I think I can explain it not being classified as a battle because the city was abandoned and the Yankees just marched in like they owned the place...which technically, I guess, they did.

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What would you say to someone who won’t immunize their children? First, I would let them know that there is a correlation between the beginning of immunization and increased autism. But it doesn’t prove causality. I, personally, think that there is an increase in autism because of better tests to identify such a malady. Plus, I think it is over-diagnosed, but that might just be me.

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 A latrine from the Baths of Caracalla in Rome, 100-300, shaped like a chariot.
Can't you see some rich Roman sitting on that and pretending to whip his horses and leaning into curves?


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 No word on whether it was sent to me as innovative or ridiculous. I like it, but, of course, I'm a manipulate-the-existing kind of guy.


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"I prayed and asked God to show me what I should do, and the way I should go about it, He would not show me this saggy pant -- it's one of the things He did not do. It is not in His orders to gain eternal life."
- Frank Goodman, city councilman in Dadeville, Alabama.
Well, I guess that ends all discussion. There are no counter-arguments available.
Now think about the absurdity in that. God sitting up on his throne and of all the millions of prayers he listens to and answers a guy from Ala-fucking-bama who needs fashion advice. I'm thinking of driving to Dadeville not to see the city councilman, but to see the people who agree with his assessment of his one on one with the almighty.

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Of a whole photo essay of old and new images, this offered something valuable.
Notice that with all the changes, they kept the exact same lamp post.
 If you get it right the first time, no need to upgrade.

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The old guy went to K-Mart for a shoe sale and tried on only one shoe, which is his habit. Weeks later he decided to wear them only to discover that though the same size and color, the shoes did not match. It had been too long to return them, so he just wore them.

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Hydrographic flames applied to a helmet. Wow.

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Shit you don't see everyday.

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I wonder who was the first person to look at a beehive and think ‘Those bastards are hiding something delicious in there and I just know it.’


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I think women practice that look in front of a mirror when they are children.

 You can almost hear the brain cogs turning.

And there is no need to practice it. It comes with the penis.

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 Talk about your high maintenance woman.

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The best thing about the worst time of your life is that you get to see the true colors of your new gun permit.


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This gorilla had just lost its mother
The key word is "lost." 

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When sleeping participants were repeatedly played a sound that was associated with prior counter-stereotype training, they showed reduced subconscious gender and racial bias the next day.


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 I will never lose my awe for such things. It is like a calendar on a cosmic scale.

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Gentle Readers, Miss Janis Joplin.
 Janis Joplin's 1965 psychedelically painted Porsche is being sold for $560,581.

God I wish I were rich. But why 560,581? Who sells shit for numbers like that? If I were rich I would give them 560,600 and add, "Don't be a jerk."

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I think we could all learn a thing or two from these people.

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My friend's fake mustache fell off in Home Depot and now they won’t let him touch any of the power tools.


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TWO STUDIES
And...
And it's not just a tiny amount. From the study...
Black children were less likely to receive opioids(12.2 percent) than white children (33.9 percent).

I would really like to know if that had to do with insurance and poor kids having to be treated free.

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 Like father, like son.
I am living proof that that is not true.

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There are certain things a man should never say to a woman and no chance in hell of knowing what those things are.


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 It occurs to me that those drivers really do work for a living.

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STREET ART
 Unexpected '15: "Trail Of Tears", a new piece by D*Face in Fort Smith, Arkansas


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 Don't get me started about cyclist DEMANDING that you follow the letter of the law, then flaunting it themselves.

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From the same guy who paints off a surfboard.

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If you find a hair in your food, heavily salt it before sending it back to the kitchen to make sure you got a new order.


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 I find the universe beyond fascinating.

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I thought today that I was losing weight, but my sweatpants had just come untied. Bummer.


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When monkeys wear a tie they're always too big or too small.


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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Look closely at the Janis Joplin Porsche. The paint job is different. No butterfly on the one she is not sitting on, also look at the bumper paint scheme on the right (driver side).

Godspeed to you Sir Ralph on your next few days.

B Baggins

Ralph Henry said...

Good eye, B Baggins.
Already started to rain. Fingers are crossed.

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