About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, November 13, 2015

FRIDAY #2521


One Of My Very Own…





And then one day for no particular reason we became offended by everything.




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Ever wonder what a third degree felon looks like in Pennsylvania?


Oakland Raiders player Ray-Ray Armstrong is under police investigation for barking at a police dog and pounding his chest. Armstrong, 24, reportedly lifted his shirt and taunted the animal shortly before the start of Sunday's NFL game against the Pittsburgh Steelers.


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A major offensive is underway in Iraq to take back key towns. This is what "our" side looks like.

A Kurdish female fighter.


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So I got this response yesterday about a key packet:

Here is our story.  My cousin is a bus driver and uses the old State turnout before the Blue Hill Dump where she saw a key, poker chip, and other things attached to a tree branch.   She has been telling me about this for the past three days.  So, since I needed to take my husband to an appointment in Bangor, we stopped on the way and took it down.  She didn’t even dare touch it.  This is funny to me but she spooks easy.  Of course, with all the drug activity going on, and having a rather dull life, we start speculating on what it meant.  I even called Hancock County Police to see if this meant anything.  They told me if they paid attention to everything weird they would be working 24/7 and make a million dollars.
So, thanks for spicing up our day.  It gave us a bit of adventure.  My husband is also an artist.  He thinks of himself as a painter but also does sculpture.  His work can be found on Artfinder.com and Facebook.  I use this as a reference not to sell anything but thought you might enjoy looking at the work.  Myself, I make quilts and do mixed media.
Thanks again for the mini-adventure.

THERE WILL BE TWO FULL POSTS THIS WEEKEND.




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According to evolutionary biologists, crying compromises one of your most valuable assets as an animal: sight. Water fills the tear ducts and your vision is impaired. By putting yourself at this disadvantage, others perceive you as less of a threat — a signal of submission.


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Had a wonderful talk with my zookeeper bartender the other day.
Another patron said that he had read that the animals were fed human-quality beef. The zookeeper said that in some cases that is true, but mostly the big carnivores are fed horse. And the Komodo Dragons can't be given chunks of meat as the big cats, because their neck muscles will atrophy. The Komodos are given whole carcasses so that they can rip the flesh from the bones like they do in the wild. When this is due to happen they have to warn the zoo visitors over the PA system because some people find the sight of it very upsetting...especially young children.

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The world's most expensive penny - This Lincoln cent was struck in the wrong metal at the Denver Mint in 1943. Just 40 of the coins are known to exist. In 2010, a dealer in New Jersey sold his 1943 penny for a staggering $1,700,000.00 (Most 1943 pennies are steel-gray)



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Mongolian Ibex
 Okay, I know their great sense of balance and extraordinary climbing skills, but there must be plenty of fatal accidents, especially among the young. So evolutionarily speaking, how was this advantageous.

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Very strange juxtaposition...

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Raise you hand if you have been personally victimized by tequila.


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Listen up stupid bastards all over the world...
DO NOT stick a rag in a bottle of gasoline and try to throw it. 
DO put the cork back in the bottle, then just tie the rag around the neck. When the bottle shatters on contact you will have the same effect without the danger of pouring gasoline down your back when throwing.
Speaking of people on fire...
I watched a documentary about burning at the stake.

They even put instrument-laden dummies in different sized fires and found that there were several different ways to die according to how big the fire was. Mostly A) Smoke exhalation, B) The scorching of the brachial tubes, and C) Third degree burns that shut down internal organs.


 Have a nice day?

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Stairs of interest...
 That the footfalls have eroded the stones offers a hint of how long those stairs have been in use.
Here is one that I can't quite figure out why it doesn't fall.

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I think they ought to sell socks in three packs for that inevitable time when one mysteriously goes missing.


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I live in a college town and I see this sort of thing ever…damn…day.

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What if your mother’s maiden name was Password?


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 Mark L. Walberg, host of Antique Roadshow

I know this guy, and he really is a nice person.

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 What a time to be alive.

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My idea of a Happy Meal is a case of beer, 2 Xanax, and a cookie.


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 But don't their crowns fit nice.

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COLONEL KRISTIN E. GOODWIN
 This is her office.

Clara Immerwahr - one of the first women to get her PhD.

Killed herself after her husband Fritz Haber, himself a chemical genius unleashed the use of chemical weapons on the world in WWI.


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The freedom tree

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I don’t call it Box Wine, I call it Cardboardeaux.


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It seems that almost everything I see reminds me of a story. I guess that's just normal when you are as old as I am.
Well, that cartoons reminds me of when I was in high school and my girlfriend's mother walked in the room when her daughter was giving me a blowjob.


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It annoys me how much land is being taken up by dead people.


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Extreme hoarding...

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I hate waking up every morning and realize I’m not rich.


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What if when you died and became a ghost you found out there were ghosts jobs and you had to work somewhere like a ghost post office?


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What’s up with the women getting all the good stuff? Sure, a man may get a fishing rod or a power tool, but women get gold and fucking diamonds. Who made up such a stupid rule? I will guarantee you one thing, it WAS NOT a man over 50.

Think about it, you must give your young woman a huge diamond you can’t afford so she will marry you. That’s like BUYING her for a stone she can show off to her like minded little friends. That’s not right, ya’ll. That just ain’t right.
But down deep we all know that it was all started and overly encouraged by the people who sell diamonds. That is what most people mean when they use terms like "society dictates that I must....". They just got convinced something should be done by people who stand to profit from your gullibility.


This is just the kind of name dropping pricks that make people hate Ted Talks.


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 Can't say I ever thought I would ever see that.

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Let's play a game.
What is about to happen?
A. A plane engine falls on the car.
B. The street opens up and swallows the car.
C. The car explodes.
D. The car is hit by a runaway horse and wagon. 
E. A giant spool of cable rolls out the door and crushes the car.

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Steve Martin is the ultimate salesman.

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The Korean artists  used special hydrochromatic paint, which stays invisible until it gets wet.



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Varying your walking speed burns more calories than walking at a constant pace.


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With the predictable aftermath...
 
But you did know better. I’m a gambler…always have been and probably always will be, and I’ve seen it a thousand times.


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What happens when the weather girl wears the wrong color dress...

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Do you think an amputee every read Farewell to Arms and laughed?


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The History of Color


You might want to look that up.

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 The future had no future


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Watch how massed ants have the properties of a solid and a fluid.
Here is the solid.

Then when ants are trapped between two pieces of glass and a penny is dropped in, they move around it and fill in the void behind it just like a liquid.
I've found out why some gifs don't load. They exceed the maximum size for my blog host.

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Whaaaaat?

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I once saw a Chinese buffet with French fries.


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How delightful...

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Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.


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I think it clipped that guy wire...

Speaking of helicopters...
That took me much longer than it should have.

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Help me out with this one.
The field looks rather level, so where does the extra soil come from? And why would this be necessary? What crop requires such a configuration?

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The first time a triple landing has been done...

Now let's watch another landing...

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I’m still not fully awake from a nap I took in 1986.


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Okay, here's your answer...

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There really is no difference between a tired 4 year old and a drunk adult.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi,

a) regarding the Heli view https://youtu.be/v5aMT9MBfZI
b) regarding the soil: White Asparagus

Cheers
Alex

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