About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

THURSDAY #2596

One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com




I have a good friend with a PhD in English Lit. When the day came for his orals to defend his thesis, three out of four of his panel were waiting in the lobby for the fourth member....James Dickey.
My friend was a drinking buddy with Dickey and had on more than once managed to get the great man's drunk ass home. Well, finally Dickey arrived and everyone got into the elevator for a lift to the conference room. On the way up, Dickey began to ridicule the other professors with statements like this:
"Don't worry about that guy, he hasn't been published in seven years and he knows his ass is on the line. And that guy, I tried to read his poetry one time and it read like an 8th grader wrote it. And that last guy, if he could keep dicks out of his mouth long enough, he might have better luck getting tenure."
Then the elevator reached the floor and everyone got off but Dickey, who just smiled, waved and said, "Good luck, kid."


And even with all that, my friend got his PhD.

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Father in law dead. Wife distraught.





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Consider those adorable idiosyncrasies one loves when first dating. After 20 years of marriage, they become what the police refer to as motive.

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The No Pants Subway Ride Has Gone Global
And I think that's a good thing.

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It is called Footgolf and it is played with soccer balls.

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Am I the only one who thinks moats around your home is a really good idea.

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Prof. Phil Bland of Curtin University is ecstatically happy for a reason.
     The rock that he holds in his hand is the oldest in the world. It's an extremely rare meteorite that he dates back to 4.5 billion years. That's older than the Earth.

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Tonight the guy sitting next to me at the bar told me he had downloaded a new game and proceeded to fire it up. He was one super hero fighting another super hero and he giggled in glee every time he got in a good shot. I but could stare at him until he became embarrassed, shut the game down and apologized.

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Good holy shit! I wish I knew how to do this.

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I'm always a little suspicious of women who say that they don't "remember things."

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Back when they built things to last.
Like 500 years.

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Another wonderful reuse.

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I can't believe I have to keep washing my body until I die.

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What happens when people think.
Those little sticks sticking out of the sand are actually the top of a three foot slat fence that is used to built dunes. As you can see, they work. And they only work by slowing the wind down just enough for the airborne grains of sand to drop down.

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Congratulations, Americans... 
You...me and you...are the sole reason there are miserable children sweating their lives away. No, not the companies that move the factories over there....US! Just so our sneakers can be a few dollars cheaper. Shame on us.

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I once had an idea to turn my attic into a play area for my girls.
The floor was pretty much finished...rough finished, but finished. I had to call in a city inspector or no contractor would touch it and that guy told me that 80% of my floor space had to be a minimum of 7 feet height. I asked what I thought was an innocent enough question, and that was "Why would the city care about such a thing if tiny little children are going to play there?" Well, he took that as a great insult and warned me to stop work immediately or go to jail.
Never did find out why such a law was passed.

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Sad but true I'm afraid.

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Man invents paint and experiments with it in the exact same way all over the world.







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It took me 13 years but I finally deleted most half of my e-mails.

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Cutting the cheese....as it were.
I find that mildly satisfying.

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Not all of Germany’s adolescents were willing to be subordinates to Hitler’s cause. A small but subversive number of teenagers severed ties with state-approved groups and rebelled both culturally and politically, listening to American music, growing their hair long, and eventually graduating to sabotage. They were known as the Edelweiss Pirates, and their delinquency would grow to become a very sharp thorn in the side of the Reich.


You might want to look them up, for even knowing the risks, they did what they knew was right.



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Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I’m talking about you in particular.

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Injecting ink into a yolk

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Let's explore the wonder world of unusual headlines, shall we.






    A man’s insistence that it is his religious right to wear a colander on his head has strained his relationship with the Russian government.

And...



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Another good idea...

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I thought by this point in my life I would know what to do with my arms when I sleep, but nope, still confused.

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Watched a film about how close you can get to the sun.
With just a space suit - about half way.

In a space ship, about 95% of the way.


Speaking of such things...






There is a thing in space that's 10 miles in diameter and powering an explosion 20 times brighter than every star in the Milky Way galaxy—combined. The explosion is thought to be a "superluminous supernova" and has been designated ASAS-SN-15lh. It is 200 times brighter than a typical supernova and 570 billion times brighter than the Sun.

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If I may be so bold. There are so many talented and/or rich black people. Why don't they make their own films that outshine the films of white people?

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This is an interesting statement.

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SOME THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT HUMANS






Have you ever almost died or thought you were dying? I have a couple of times, and I can attest to that being correct. I was in a car that ran off the road and flipped and rolled 80 yards down a ditch, and it all moved in super slow motion with me thinking, "Oh, I'm on the roof....oh, I'm on the seat," over and over again.
I also worried that I would suffer and wished more than anything that I would just die quickly.

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   Anthony Hopkins won an Oscar for Best Actor as Hannibal Lector and only appeared for about 12 minutes.

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I might have posted this already....

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Great, I clicked on “Start Your Free Trial” and now I’m convicted of murder.

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Wait for it...

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Whenever I see people exercising early in the morning I think, "Wow! I'm so impressed I'm up this early!"

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1 comment:

MacGyver said...

Condolences

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