About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2595

One Of My Very Own…




When James Dickey taught at the University of South Carolina, he had open enrollment, which meant whoever wanted to sign up could sign up....sort of. It was one of those huge auditoriums and on the first day of class the room was packed. Dickey would wonder in and survey the room, then he would say things like this:

"All you people standing against the wall, out."
And all those who didn't have seats would leave. Then he would say, "All you people on the back ten rows....out."
After several such mass purges he would be selecting individual students to dismiss, until.....the class consisted of 40 or so of the most beautiful women who had entered the room.
Yeah, he did that.

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Remember the gif about the goo cascading down the stairs of a house? Well...
"That's from a Norwegian tv show called "Ikke Gjør Dette Hjemme" (Don't Try This At Home), it's like mythbusters with a bit of jackass thrown in. They use old houses before they are to be demolished. That's just a chemical reaction (no idea as to what type, I was never fond of chemistry) on a large scale. Commonly referred to as 'Elephant Toothpaste'."


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This week, international publishing house Penguin Random House decided to drop degrees as a requirement for job applicants, following in the footsteps of major consulting firms Ernst and Young and PricewaterhouseCoopers.
The move comes as smaller employers are shifting away from hiring graduates or university students, believing kids are coming out of university with “no real skills” or simply being taught the wrong things.
Penguin hasn’t been so harsh, saying the shift in requirements is simply a move “to make publishing far, far more inclusive than it has been to date”.
“While graduates remain welcome to apply for jobs, not having been through higher education will no longer preclude anyone from joining,” a statement from the publisher confirmed.
“Simply if you’re talented and you have potential, we want to hear from you.”

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Got this in my email from a viewer:
"I graduated from college in 1989 with approximately $15,500 in debt and paid it back with the following terms, 120 months 8% interest and the payments were approximately $190 per month. If you future value those amounts into today dollars it would be approximately $34,500 in debt. Today the interest rates are lower and they now allow a payback up to 240 months. The difference now is these idiots have $100+ cell phone bills and very little initiative. I hire a couple of these graduates a year and cannot believe their work ethic. Now I know a lot of these Millennials are hard working and really do need some help but I think the majority of them are just lazy, feel entitled and now have a venue ie. Twitter, Facebook etc. to scream poor me. In my day we worked two or three jobs, ate Ramen Noodles and didn't have a life until we dug ourselves out of the hole we were in."


I do notice that most of my young friends I am so worried about drink A LOT of $5 shots.

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 Fuck that bitch.

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Another alert viewer reports...

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“Tell Mike it was only business. I always liked him.”
Abe Vigoda, dead at 94
Maybe...
What a guy!

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If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package.

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I have good taste, but I don’t have the money to prove it.

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From alert viewer, Scott...
"Global Warming?
I saw two of these birds this morning sitting on my office building.  One of the guys identified it and we are 100% certain this is the bird.  I’ve been here over 10 years and this is the first time I have seen one.
Very large bird –   42 to 51 inch wingspan."


"I did some research (Googled it) and found it was far outside its known range."
NOTE: What normal person estimates a wing span with numbers like 42 -51. Who does that?! It, of course, reminds me of a story.
My youngest daughter was staying with me and had school the next day. I asked her what time she wanted me to wake her up and she said, "7:27." I asked how she came up with such a number and she said that that was when she always got up. Further discussion led me to realize the child had never seen a clock with hands on it, so there was no notion of "a quarter after, or half past," and every number was just as good as another. Amazing.
So after giving this problem much, much more time than it deserves, I think I have cracked it. My nephew got the 42-51" wing span from his research and that number was arrived at by translating from the metric system to inches. I dare you to prove me wrong.

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Something hanging from a tree that features an eating utensil AND a key, so you know I have to post it.

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My commitment issues are so bad that I'm afraid to put stickers on stuff because I might find something better to stick it on.

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People always say, ’’Make sure you get a job doing what you love!’’ But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.

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I only posted that because I ran across an article about snakes being used as weapons. I think it was the Greeks who would catapult snakes onto enemy warships and such to send the crew into disarray. Anyway, near the site of a famous battle they found snakes on an island that didn't belong there, and have deduced that they are the offspring of such weaponized vipers.
By the way, the snakes were not poisonous, due to safety concerns of the attackers. But inside the city walls, they didn't know that and freaked the fuck out.

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What a view...

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They probably named the Rocky Mountains first and then saw all the other mountains and were like, "Oh."

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I might repost this every time I run across it.
This guy was asked to take a breathalyzer test.

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I used 5 different things as a napkin today and one of them was my neighbor's dog.

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What a wonderful sentiment...
I mean it. Immediately after finishing this post I am going to change my "DO EPIC SHITE" labels to "UNFUCK THE WORLD."

Done.

You viewers in Columbia will soon see them all over town.

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 You might need this at some time of the other.
But who takes a tripod with them? 

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You've come a long way, baby.
 And yes, it was illegal back then.

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"Against School" is a previously unpublished Aaron Swartz essay about the centuries of word-perfect complaints about the US public school system, which have led to mass-scale, sneak privatization of the public system.

 If you walked into an American classroom today, you would find children seated and doing exactly what they were back then. Dividing children in groups by age has been proven nonproductive, but we still do it just like schools 100 years ago.
I will state up front that when I was in school students divided themselves into College Prep and Vocational.
By the time I started teaching, Vocational was all but gone. High schools were no longer turning out brick layers, electricians or plumbers. And I know why this magnificent program was ended.
The "fair" way to divide students who are smart enough to graduate college from students who don't have a prayer of even getting in to a university was a test. One test didn't automatically keep you out of college prep, though. High teacher recommendation had sway as did exceptional skills in art, music, etc.
But when the schools were integrated, lo and behold the college prep classes were overwhelmingly white and the vocational classes were overwhelmingly black. The black parents demanded that their students be placed in the college prep classes, despite the abundance of evidence that it would be futile.
For more reason than I care to discuss here, I think that parents MUST take responsibility for their child's education.
 You can search for arrowheads with them...or fossils or insects, etc.
You can shower them with images like these...
(Dissected tiger paw)

And discuss them thoroughly. Ask questions. Make them think. Critical thinking skills is the greatest gift you can give your child.

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Me: How about a quickie?


Wife: As opposed to what?

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I Googled that also, and apparently it's true. 

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New law restricts lobbyists to the lobby. Citizen victory! Writing laws a bit less convenient! The lobby lobby, however, has won the day.

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One of America's darkest hours...
 Reminds me of the Soviet Union backing out of Afghanistan.

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 They really did prove this, you know.

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Guy tries to embarrass another guy, but guy #2 too fast...

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Remember the use of pictures to kickstart story writing? These look like good candidates.


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Most people seem to define "skepticism" as a rigorous doubt of any fact which they would prefer not to believe.

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I've seen a lot of kinetic sculptures and there is always a problem. The artist is not an engineer and usually don't even make permanent plans for lubrication, thus they break down within a few years. 

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Let you cat out to roam free? Fuck you. As a parent I have more than once cleaned the cat shit (YOUR CAT'S SHIT) out of sand boxes in MY OWN YARD.

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This is old news now, of course, but when I slid it into this day's post I didn't know that.

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Learning from mistakes is for people who recognize that they make mistakes. I don’t give a shit.

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Can you spell "close call," boys and girls?
I think the cat took the momma bird's baby bird.

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Football started as strictly butt-slapping & they built the rest of the game around that so it wouldn’t look weird by itself.

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The chosen one has arrived.


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I found a peanut in my beard. I haven’t eaten peanuts in three days.

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CANADA


In Canada a beaver dressed like a bee.

I repeat: a beaver dressed like a bee.




A. Freak. Accident....Flying Bear....Canada. All we need to know.

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A woman friend of mine told me that after getting into bed with a new guy, he asked, “How many inches do you want?”

Think about that a moment.

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1 comment:

Larry said...

The goo is A and B foam , just like the "GREAT STUFF" that you buy at hardware stores, only in a way larger amount.

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