About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, February 5, 2016

FRIDAY #2604

One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 





Drone video of Homs, Syria

His biggest problem...
He is promising too much and we all know he won’t be able to deliver.





The German chancellor Angela Merkel, who herself has a doctorate in physics, switched on the device.

So much whining about the whining of no black actors in Academy Awards.


Still don’t have this font size problem figured out.



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Daughter: You're invading my personal space.
Mom: You came out of my personal space.

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This is a real ad. Read it carefully.
 

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Nobody would buy a used mattress, but sleeping in a hotel doesn’t bother us at all.    

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A couple of people in headlines that look exactly would one assumed they looked like:
 


 

And then there's this...

 

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A Zen teaching story: One winter morning, a Zen monk lost his footing and fell into a deep snow drift. Unable to free himself, he screamed for help. Another monk came running, but instead of attempting a rescue, he threw himself down into the snow drift, alongside his friend.

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Oh, look, graffiti fat letters made easy. Maybe I will be that talented one day.

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Very soon after getting my first computer, I ran across this image and thought it mildly amusing. So I signed up to have the guy send me each of his daily creations.
I was very disappointed. None (and I mean not any) of the hundreds of the rest were funny at all. That is when I thought about me doing a better job of adding captions to images and One Of My Very Owns was born. I still call the file "Angels."

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 A new World War 2 memorial is nearing completion in south-central Poland.
Set to open in 2016, the Mausoleum of the Martyrdom of Polish Villages will pay tribute to thousands of citizens who were murdered during the German occupation of rural Poland between 1939 and 1945.

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My mother used to say, “You can’t change the past.” Ha! She should get a load of my tax return.

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 How....unusual.

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Vegan pizza.... is basically just the box.

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Care to guess what you are looking at?
 Here's the write-up: Chien Chu Lee from Taiwan is a self-taught pencil carving artist.
I find the phrase "self-taught" interesting, like there were universities that offered higher degree in such a thing. 

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I'm always amused at "documentaries" about the sunken city off the coast of Japan that as a way of proving it show how the giant stones must have been cut. This even after geologists have stated that huge smooth rectangular stones appear all over the world. 

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Amsterdam is the most bicycle-friendly city in the world, with 40% to 60% of all trips within the city made on bikes. Some estimate that there are between 880,000 to a million bicycles in the city, which is more than the city’s permanent population, by as much as 20%. Amsterdam also has lots of canals —165, with a combined length of 100 kilometers. Unavoidably, some of the bicycles end up getting wet. Did I say some? How about 15,000?...

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How to dispose of a body.
I wrote a novel one time about a murderer who sunk the bodies of his victims in exactly the fashion shown. I had him zip-tie the wire together, but it would probably work without that.
My guy got caught because the damn of the lake he dumped the bodies broke revealing the bodies. But one of the unidentified skeletons had a very unusual hip replacement and they were able to identify him by that.
Mind you that was decades before I had my hip replacement. 

Speaking of wire...

This is an example of homemade games. Looks kind of fun, but, of course, I would have bet money with the old bitch.

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 Score 1 for sanity.

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 Condoleeza Rice's less successful sister is Apartmentleeza Rice.

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I detest dramatic exaggeration with every fiber of my being!

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Cute product.

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My wife's goal weight is to stop hearing 'you have a great personality.'

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Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses.

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In the lonely moors of Devon and in other upland areas of the United Kingdom, the ancient people had built stone bridges by placing large flat slabs of stones over piles of stones, without mortar or cement, to cross narrow streams. These bridges are called clapper bridges.

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Ever wanted to transfer a printed image to wood?
 
 You just print out any image you have onto wax paper, then rub.

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The word on the street...

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If you arrive home, it's not a holiday, and your driveway is full of family member's cars, keep going.......It's an intervention.

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Wonderful way to learn to type.

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Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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Very clever way to distract the kid attempting a free throw.
 Did you notice he missed it?

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That moment between turning off the light and falling asleep when one is so profoundly naked before the truth of one’s circumstances.
 - Jonathan Miles

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The ironic thing about the original Scooby Doo adventures was that the only real supernatural phenomena they encountered was a TALKING DOG.

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The odds of being killed by a shark are 1 in 3,748,067. So if you know 3,748,066 people who haven't been killed by a shark: avoid the ocean.

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Wow.

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If you ever want to witness an Oscar worthy performance, ask any blogger their view count and watch them pretend not to know.

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Russian designer is seriously proposing this.
It, of course, has parachutes on top to ease its descent.

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When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn’t matter who’s president.

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Gbritaney says: "This is me imitating a car alarm on my violin. I learned how to do this when I was in the 5th grade..out of pure boredom due to it being the summer. I would sit next to my parent's car and press the panic button over and over again until I learn this."
 Gbritaney? Jeez.

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In the desert valley of Wadi al-Hitan, some 150 km southwest of Cairo, Egypt has unveiled what it said is the Middle East's first museum dedicated to fossils that showcases an early form of whales, now extinct and known as the "walking whale."

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 None of them return exactly the way they left.

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My father died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.

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