About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, February 19, 2016

FRIDAY #2619

One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 





That’s the mouth you get from sucking wealth from the middle class.


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Please think about that insanity for a moment or two.


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Now pay attention…


As you probably know by now, I am no fan of Donald Trump.
But FUCK THE GODDAMN POPE!

THIS IS THE WALL AROUND THE VATICAN.

And it goes all the way around it. 
I don’t hate many things but I HATE hypocrisy.If the pope wants to help the refugees, then let him open his gates and put out the mattresses!


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Want to know what marriage is really like? This is it.
For my wife, with all the love I have to give.



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You'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. Also a rotting corpse will work. Or poop. Lots of ways to attract flies.

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The word on the street...

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Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly.

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I like these so much I plan to post every new one I find.
I also found out who started it all.
Dispatchwork is a fun movement initiated a few years ago by Jan Vormann, a 27-year old German artist.

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AR-15 Style 12 Gauge Shotgun – Akdal MKA-1919 RAAC
 Why would anybody need a scope for a shotgun?


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 I learned something recently about artillery barrages.
The guns are timed to fire at different intervals. The first gun shoots very high, then the next guns shoot lower and lower. The travel time to the target matches so that all the shells land at once.
Why they don't all just, say, aim high and fire at the same time was not addressed. 

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And that’ not the worst of it.

More like, I told some friends the story, who told their friends, who told their friends, for a hundred years, then somebody nobody knew wrote it down and after several dozen translations the pope threw out the parts he didn’t like and now you have it.

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My wife just posted a selfie and 287 people told her to get well soon.

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People who have been doing their jobs for a long time...
 
That's....amazing.
I stared at that for twenty minutes.
Notice the two male workers just sort of standing there.

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The Battle was fought was between Danish forces sent by King Valdemar IV of Denmark and a local peasant militia. 27 July, 1361. The Danish won.


Because of the heat that day, it caused the bodies to rot quicker and become unbearably rancid. The Danish decided to just bury the bodies quickly in a mass grave without looting the corpses. This gave us modern humans a look into the brutality of Medieval warfare.

When you really, really want somebody dead.


Notice the spike things behind the head on the table. Those were the first landmines. No matter how you threw them they would always land with a spike pointed up to impale a foot or horse hoof. And not only that it is barbed so you couldn’t get it out.


This is what a saber slash wound looks like.

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Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll have to fix the washing machine yourself with YouTube videos.

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The view down a street in Norfolk, VA, at the USS Wisconsin.

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Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth.

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We all know Norman Rockwell...

He always worked from photographs.
 And so do I.

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Got children? Use this...tonight.
It’s called a Dad Joke and by god it’s funny.

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I cheated on my drug test, with a younger, more attractive drug test.

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Oldie...but I like it.

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Now then - what's an oxymoron?
(did you get that?)

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I can't believe that this use of an amazing technology is a good idea.

The collective knowledge of the whole species at your disposal and what do you use it for?


Case in point...



They even found not one, but two volunteers to point in the hole.

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Who called it your foot falling asleep and not coma toes?

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You think they have to get off simultaneously?

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Women with horses are rich versions of cat ladies.

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My wife and I have makeup sex so often I get a boner when she cries.

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This is called Scarification.
 I am withholding judgement.

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I once had a sexual relationship with a blind woman. Nice, but challenging. It took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

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Atlanta spelled backwards is Atlanta.

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Parents pushing a child in a stroller came into my bar. The kid was drinking an iced coffee and my bartender and three servers gave him their resumes.

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I just invented a new word: Plagiarism.

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I actually liked this movie.

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It is impossible to walk on sunshine.

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Want to guess what these are?
Inuit Snow Goggles

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French fries and mayo....ummmm good.

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If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work.

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 It's THAT easy? Wow!

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Alert viewer sent me this.
 He knows me pretty well I would say.

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This is not what it looks like.
They were pouring concrete on the roof and shit happened. 

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Deer mimics woman.

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It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough.

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Fox News invited bullshitting fraudster Wayne Simmons to appear on its "news" programs over 100 times posing as a CIA operative.
 Based on his hawkish proclamations, the Pentagon hired Simmons as a shill analyst to propagandize for them. Now that Simmons has been exposed, arrested, and charged with with multiple counts of fraud, he will never appear on Fox News again, but the lies he told on the network will forever be regarded as gospel truth by fear-addicted Fox TV viewers.

The underline is mine. What a wonderful phrase.



9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awww, Thanks for letting me lean on you!
xxxx,
your wife

Anonymous said...

"Notice the two male workers just sort of standing there."
they work for the government and are there to make sure they do it right!

Ralph Henry said...

DO THOSE WOMEN LOOK LIKE THEY NEED ANY QUALITY CONTROL?!

Anonymous said...

my point exactly

Anonymous said...

bernie sanders....
now i know why WW2 took so long ...all those pesky german / english introductions

Ralph Henry said...

WW2...I have no idea what that means....sorry.

Anonymous said...

FWIW ....magical thinking of bombing strangers

Anonymous said...

Atlanta spelled backwards is not Atlanta but Atnalta...see the difference

Ralph Henry said...

Well, I'll be damned. Atlanta spelled backwards is Atnalta.
You must be new here at Folio Olio.

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