About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

TUESDAY #2601

 One Of My Very Own…
I think I've used that gag before.
Let's try another...


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com


To remind some of you that times will get better.

The USA played Iceland in an International Friendly soccer match. I took the USA and only won with a last second goal in the 89th minute. But that's not the story. The story is that Iceland qualified for an international tournament with a population of 312,000 people. That is about as much as Columbia, South Carolina.

That, Gentle Reader, is amazing.




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In movies cell phones work almost anywhere unless it’s an emergency.

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Texas giants. The Shields brothers, all over 7 feet tall.
Pity the mother.

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I really like good, yet simple ideas.


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When someone in a movie enters a bar and the bartender asks what’ll you have, the person replies beer and the bartender goes and gets it without knowing the brand.


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The internet of late is full of all kinds a shit about Islam and Muslims.


Most have photos of this or that attack and attribute them all to mobs of muslims besieging innocent Brits, or Germans, etc. And they all "complain" that the attacks were deliberately ignored by the media.

Not that Islam doesn't give use tons of fuel with which to mock them...


But ignorance on either side of the debate must be pointed out...

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Like Tommy Lee Jones? You will love “The Missing”…except for the voo-doo crap.

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"Mom, I finally got a modeling job!"
Would one of you ladies please explain to me why the arm restrains are necessary. Is it to control unconsciously running your fingers through the doctor's hair?

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But who would have time to assemble such a weapon?

Speaking of...

    This is Bonnie Parker, before she went all Bonnie and Clyde.

This is my handgun of choice...

Ruger Blackhawk .357 Single Action

An interesting side note, my wife sent me an email on Monday that there had been a recent night time break into a house on our street. She reminded me to put the gun on the bedside table.
What a girl.

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I've used a million of these hanging mural panels...
 
And if you missed level by a little bit, you just place a washer or two at one end.

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I did this when I was teaching.

This man states teachers' number one problem very well.
My brother told me they do the same shit in the military.

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Back when men were men, women were men, and children were men...and probably dogs...but I'm not positive about dogs.


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In movies people falling from a building always land on a car.


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Yes, she is having exactly what it looks like she's having.


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I want a grown man to look me in the eye and tell me that they enjoy spending time doing this.

When can a man call himself a man?
When he stops doing the things children do.

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It don't get much more impressive than this...





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I can't believe I live in a world where our only defense against a blizzard is buying extra milk.

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MOTOR VEHICLES CAN BE FUN

They spent a lot of time and money creating that thing.
They, of course, covered it with one way glass.

Those zany Russian drivers...

This reminded me of something I just soon forget...
Saddam Hussein told a captive to jump from a four story roof and if he could walk away from it he would live. This looks very much like that poor man after breaking both legs.

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Might be a neat short cut for children...


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No one’s laugh sounds like “bwahahaha.” NO one.


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First Flower Grown In Space
So, if they can do that, they can do beans. Wouldn't you think beans would offer the most protein for the buck?
In the movie Martian, he fertilized it with the solids left over from processed human waste.

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Question: Do you think this ramp and area below the ramp were designed just so they could do this?
Or was it just a happy accident?

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This blog brought to you by the National Foundation of Lowered Expectations.

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In college we have all had a one night stand and this happened the next morning...

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Great neighbors don't call the cops when you pass out naked on their lawn.

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SPORTS CAN BE FUN
 
French rider Quentin Jauregui changing bikes in the junior worlds in 2012.
    
Magnificent triple save

Didn't even blink...

Speaking of...

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After every snowstorm, animals must spend a few brief moments wondering if nature has claimed back the world and the humans have finally gone.

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5 comments:

Fardygardy said...

You almost got the French cleat hanger right.... When you mount the first cleat onto the wall, use only one screw. Hange the picture or whatever, and rotate as needed to get it perfectly level. Then carefully remove it and install a second screw to the wall. Now it will hang perfectly forever.

Ralph Henry said...

You almost understood my problem. I'm hanging multiple pieces of 3/4" panels fastened together and in multiple layers to create a relief surface. We had to use four or five 6' 2x4s cut to make the cleats.
Just saying.

Anonymous said...

There's actually no evidence that Zakir Naik ever made the statement that the meme attributes to him. Keep in mind that on the internet anyone can claim anything.

Anonymous said...

okay, this is one of those cases where you can't prove that he didn't say it, but when push comes to shove can you prove that he did or did not say it? Everything that I have been able to find kinda points to the fact that it has been said, either by him directly or someone of equal standing. It boils down to fuck a goat or fuck a whore, your choice.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous number two, if you've been able to find something that "kinda points to" someone saying it, feel free to post a link. Anti-Islam hate sites don't count.

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