About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, February 1, 2016

MONDAY #2600

One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com








 

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If I’m ever asked what you make at your current job, just say, “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”

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Heavy Metal

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Pilots and Flight Attendants Tell Secrets of Flying
- If the oxygen masks drop down, you only have about 15 minutes of oxygen.
- When a plane is landing at night, they dim the interior lights incase you need to evacuate upon landing… your eyes are already adjusted to the darkness.
- f you have a musical instrument NEVER CHECK IT.
- NO ONE tips flight attendants. If you give your flight attendant a five dollar tip with your first drink you’ll probably drink for free the rest of the flight.
- Please people, think twice before flying your pets.
- Run your hand along the underside of the armrest, just shy of the joint you’ll feel a button. Push it, and it will lift up. Adds a ton of room to the window seat and makes getting out of the aisle a helluva lot easier.
- Mobile electronic devices won’t really bring an airplane down but they can be really annoying to pilots. Just imagine sitting in the flight deck descending to your destination and hearing the interference of a 100+ cellphones picking up a signal.
-  Most large commercial aircraft can fly with only one engine if needed.
- 1/2 of pilots sleep while flying and 1/3 of the time they wake up to find their partner asleep.
- If you have ever spread your peanuts on your tray and eaten, or really just touched your tray at all, you have more than likely ingested baby shit.
- The plane you’re about to fly on is broken. Without a doubt. SOMETHING on that plane is broken.

- Ash trays in the lavs are mandatory equipment even though the FAA banned smoking on flights years ago. The reasoning is that if people do decide to smoke, they want them to have a place other than the trash can to throw the butt.

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It all started by stacking four shipping containers.

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Folio Olio Drinking Game:

Sit down with a cold beer. Every time you feel a bit thirsty, take a sip.

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What does this say about violent video games causing aggression in children?

Speaking of dogs...


And...

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Have you ever microwaved a butterfly?

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????

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Craftsmanship at its finest.

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 By far the most important consequence of the conceptual revolution brought about in physics by relativity and quantum theory lies not in such details as that meter sticks shorten when they move or that simultaneous position and momentum have no meaning, but in the insight that we had not been using our minds properly and that it is important to find out how to do so.

 - Percy Williams Bridgman

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I know that you can ear it.

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When your first baby drops its doll, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops its doll, you tell the dog to fetch.

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My wife and I agree that one of our best road trips was to Paris. This is the Left Bank.
I bought this print of the Left Bank on the Left Bank.

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Alcohol caused a higher level of intoxication when mixed with diet soda instead of regular soda as measured by participant's breath alcohol concentration and performance in a reaction time task.

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While my wife was out of town, I went out to get the newspaper and brought it in the kitchen where I threw the paper in the trash and took the plastic bag to the bathroom.

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They wouldn't even know who to call.

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I don't think so.

And similarly...


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I had to watch this twice...


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If you can put his dick in your mouth, you can talk to him about what bothers you.

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GREAT THINGS FOR CHILDREN










And when your snowflake gets a little older...


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I may not agree with what you are saying, but I’ll defend to the death your right to take it back before you piss me off.

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I guess somebody was in the army...


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Hideousyncracies. Autocorrect changed it to "hideout crazies" which when you think about it sounds about right. 

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I’m a firm believer that every traffic jam begins with one dumbass.

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When she asks if you notice anything different about her today.

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"Losing your temper" should be called "finding your temper!"

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A guy I know I would like to meete.

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Here are some reposts for my newer viewers...


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The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The lockers are on photographed at a 90% angle

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