About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2616

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 









The accompanying article had this jewel:
“A hospital is a computer we put sick people into.”


The information contained in this blog has been compiled from sources believed to be reliable, but no representation or warranty, express or implied, is made by Folio Olio, Inc, its affiliates or any other person as to its accuracy, completeness or correctness. All opinions and estimates contained in this blog constitute the blogger's judgment as of the date of the post, are subject to change without notice and are provided in good faith but without legal responsibility.
(I stole that from Taiwikiwidbee, a most wonderful website)

A friend downloaded an app on my phone that I want to share with you. It’s call Tunity and it allows me to aim my phone camera at any TV and it will detect exactly what the show is and let me stream the audio over my phone. There is nothing more frustrating than being in a bar with twelve (12) TVs and all of them are on mute and most of them are talking head sports shows. Now I just listen to my phone in real time. I could also have used it last night when the wife and I watched Walking Dead and Rick went on a five minute whispering spree that was lost on me.



World's Most Useless Machine Now With A Twist!
Must watch until the end. Funny guy.


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When I see a woman in any kind of fur coat I go up to them and say, “Excuse me, do you work here?”

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ART





Are you one of those people who have painted basically the same fat letters all over your town for twenty years? Then why don't you start with your parent's and grandparent's house...or your car...or the place you work? Why not ask a friend if they would like you to spray paint some fat letters on bedroom wall?



And although this looks like clever artwork of screws on a sidewalk, it is not.
Taiwan Navy flight deck crew run to tie down an S70 helicopter after landing on the deck of a supply ship. I wish I knew what those giant screws are for. I mean, imagine the size of that fucking screwdriver.

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In my recent issue of Harper's a review of a new book of the letters Vladimir Nabokov wrote to his wife over the course of a 50-year marriage.  I was startled by the following casual observation:
Before their marriage in 1925, Vladimir Nabokov, following a tradition among Russian litterateurs, handed over an intercourse résumé. "Here’s everybody." It contained twenty-eight names.

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This is a kinkajou, or "honey bear," a mammal who usually calls the Central and South American rainforests its home.
That's far from Miami, Florida, where one scared the hell out of a 99-year-old woman who woke up to find it sleeping on her chest.

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Nobody who does marijuana says they "do" marijuana.
God I love language.

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I've seen something very similar before.
 There was a department store in Boston that had one 12' x 12" board in each display window. One had various universities written on it = Board of Education. Another photographs of governors = Board of Governors. There were several more, but I forget.
Lara, you were there. Can you remember any more of them?

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Okay, and would you like to give a dollar to hungry kids today?

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How very, very true.

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This image provided by Heather de Rivera and made with a fluorescent microscope shows C4 proteins, green, located at the synapses in a culture of human neurons.

This is a computer model of the cosmic web.
 Shit like that makes my groin tingle.

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Ulysses S. Grant's Wife Always Posed in Profile
Why?  Strabismus...she was crossed eyed.

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No one cared when I announced I was cancer free. Apparently it doesn’t count if you’ve never had cancer in the first place.

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Born without two fingers, then this...

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For anyone who needs money and also has access to a crane and can somehow finagle an entire ATM machine out of thin air, you now have your blueprint into breaking an ATM open. Those machines are tough! Breaking ATMs for cash is the stuff of movies and TV shows! But it doesn’t have to be hard.
Just drop it from a 100 feet in the air like Crash Zone did with a crane and watch it spit out cash all over the place.

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"Emergency Supplies (1979)"


 That looks so real...Could that be real?

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70?!?! Of the millions of slaves she was only able to save 70? I think she has been over-hyped or I was misinformed by this article. 

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Do people up north and out west have neighbors who do this, or are they all just clustered south of the Mason-Dixon Line?

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The UK's Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency does not permit the wearing of colanders on heads in driving license photos, even for religious reasons.
(those bastards)

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How many light bulbs does it take to change people?

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I smoke in the car and the smell is in my clothes, skin, and hair but this gum will cover everything up so no one will know.

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According to Russian newspaper reports, in the 1940s Stalin's secret police had set up a special department to get its hands on people's feces. The ambitious aim: to analyze samples of foreign leaders' stools.
Did they keep samples in storage? I am imagining new opportunities in the fiercely-competitive Celebrity Fecal Transplant market.

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Coyotes have taken to staring at motorists as they drive through a twisting, turning section of road, before attacking their cars and then skulking off back into the wilderness. The coyotes run up to the cars, usually at night, forcing the drivers to stop as the animals then stare and sniff around the vehicles.
Some think they may have eaten fly agaric mushrooms (amanita muscaria) which have hallucinogenic properties.
By the way, there are a whole bunch of coyotes being released into the "wild" and their diet consists mostly of domestic house cats, and that shit is true.

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Gave my wife a synopsis of The Martian and she asked me if it was based on a true story.

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See how this was done?
Of course you do.

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I'm reexamining my life after unloading 63 pounds of on-sale unsalted butter out of the trunk because it seems a little weird even by my wife's standards.

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The Sentimentalist, Matthew Dols

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Teachers who use humor in their classrooms tend to get better student evaluations by their students, regardless of learning outcomes.

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Examine this carefully...
 Did you catch the reflection?

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The Great Escape, staged photographs by Ceslovas Cesnake.



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The carnivorous plant Dionaea muscipula, also known as Venus flytrap, can count how often it has been touched by an insect visiting its capture organ in order to trap and consume the animal prey.
I can count! Holy shit!

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 In September 1944 the New York Times explained pizza to its readers and included a rare use of its plural "pizza."

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The picture of the junk in the front yard, you ask if it's a southern thing? Out west if a yard in my area looked like that the city would clean it up and send the home owner the bill. Same with over run lawn or trees or shrubs etc.

Anonymous said...

"Ulysses S. Grant's Wife Always Posed in Profile"

Because if you've got it, flaunt it.

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