About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, March 27, 2016


One Of My Very Own…


When a credit card is left in a bar (which they are by the dozens), the credit card company loses money because it just sits idle. The customer loses because, he has no card with which to buy shit. The bar loses because they have to deal with it.

Well, I have a solution. If a card is left, the bar types in a special code and swipes the cards. This alerts the credit card company that the cards is lost and where it can be found. The credit card company then sends a robo-text to the card owner as to where they can find it. Ba-do-boom, ba-da-bing, everybody wins.
And even better, except for the bar employee there need not be a human involved. One would assume the card owner would have to sign up for such a service.
What could possibly be worse than being a bull orca being kept in a cage at Sea World? Now they have decided to end its breeding program so now the poor bastard can't even fuck anymore!

You've all seen this by now...

But let's not forget the other bird's reaction..

But maybe birds are not very good omens...



Where will you be when the drugs kick in?

My kind of guy...

My kind of woman...

There are two kinds of people in the world...

Circle Jerk Mimes?

Have you ever tried to teach anyone to dive?
I have, and they do it just like that at first.

I knew a guy who used a bamboo pole to knock all the leaves out of his trees so he only had to rake once.

The "Who Needs A Job" tattoo...

Don't be that guy...

The "I'm A Slut And Don't Care Who Knows It" tattoo...

Practice, ladies. Practice.

"I Don't Know Who My Daddy Is" tattoo.

Another image that I would love to heard the instructions from the photography...

Can you spot the fuck chick?


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