One Of My Very Own…
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Sunday my bar was closed for Easter,
so in the afternoon I went to a bar one and half blocks from my house. Because
just about every other bar in the city was closed, the bar I went to was full
of….bartenders. I would like to state, as a matter of fact, that bartenders are
very funny people…to a man…or woman...of course they had heard every joke and bon mont from a thousand people in the last month. I had a wonderful time. And most of them knew me...or at least of me.
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If I had one of these I would never
get anything done…
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This was posted next to the door of the bar I visit on Tuesday to get smoked chicken wings.
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OCD has as a benefit being very pleased when you see something like this...
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I had some food stuck
in my teeth and now I'm an international beatboxing champion.
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An inexpensive butter sprayer...
What a wonderful idea.
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Wood is good.
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My wife got a call from a
charity asking her to donate her old clothes for starving people. She told them
anybody who fits into her clothes isn't starving.
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More people who can't get insurance...
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This may not give me a hard-on, but at least a little tingle...
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Silly but mildly amusing...
That structure, though, must be universal because it works so well at distribution. It could be roots, a tree, veins in a leaf, our blood system, etc.
I love that shape, but not this much...
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One of the perks of being a
woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you
you're the mom.
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How delightful...
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The Gömböc is a self-righting
object, which means that no matter which way you put it down, it stands itself
back up. It's like a Weeble, except it doesn't cheat by having a weight at the
bottom, and it's the only shape that can do this.
The existence of a shape with these
properties was conjectured in 1995, but it took ten years for someone to figure
out how to actually make one that worked. And then everyone was embarrassed
when it turned out that turtles had evolved this same basic shape in their
shells a long time ago, to make it easier for them to roll themselves back over
if they get flipped.
Well, not every turtle...
You know, for a turtle that has to be embarrassing.
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Well, not every turtle...
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If money talks, then all
mine says is good-bye.
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Case in point...
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I’ve come to a point in my
life where I need a stronger word than fuck.
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All space flights to date...
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All space flights to date...
Amazing.
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Hand Carved from Alabaster Stone
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Hand Carved from Alabaster Stone
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Watch a movie about people stuck in an elevator, and there was this lady's neck.
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The bar exploded with
laughter when the bartender showed everyone a text where the person spelled out
the word hashtag instead of using the symbol.
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I think the pins are spinning. What say you?
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I'll turn this over to the unparalleled knowledge base of the readers of this blog, some of whom undoubtedly will be able to explain this to the rest of the Folio Olio Club.
On a similar note...
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At my bar they have a guy
who moved here from Scotland. He was absolutely sure that you had to rewind DVD
movies. His reasoning was this: If you stop a movie, then come back to it
later, it’s still at the same spot, therefore if you don’t rewind it, then it
will be stuck at that spot for the next person.
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Tornado decimates school gymnasium
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Several of the young people
at my bar were discussing whether or not they were popular in high school.
Finally they turned to me and ask if I was popular. I said, “I used to think
about that until the 10th grade when a girl showed me what my dick
was for, then I never thought about it again.”
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And it's all men's fault...
So, who do you suppose made this woman do this?
And exactly who's idea was it for her to do this?
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Who would not be impressed by this?
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I like circling random
dates on my wife’s calendar then straight facing it when she freaks over not
remembering what she has to do.
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How to make sure you are never invited over to meet his parents...
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You call them curse words.
I call them sentence enhancers.
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Looking down onto the floor of the
Florence Cathedral
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A shoutout to everyone who
managed to get through the day without taking a nap. You are the ones that
drive up the health care costs.
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Anybody else drank so much
that they took a cab to Wendy’s?
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From a guy I don't know:
"I keep having to sign
contracts where I waive all rights "throughout the universe." Lately,
I've been crossing out 'universe' and writing in 'solar system,'" said
some guy I don't know.
The "throughout the universe" thing apparently began as a kind of lawyer's joke, and spread.
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I am a sex attic.
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