About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

TUESDAY #2642

One Of My Very Own…

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 



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There's nothing more difficult than trying to convince a narcissist that you don't like them.
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As I understand it, at the collapse of the Soviet Union, Russia sold just about everything it owned just to stay afloat.
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Welcome to woodworking club, please make a seat.    
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3 Year Old Girl Delivering A Baby Lamb
I, for one, am very impressed.

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Remember that Russian tank I lied about?

Speaking of Russians…
If I am not mistaken, those young men are a local group that makes sure motorists don’t use the pedestrian walkways. I’ve seen similar things before.
   Why they don’t just mount a few thick posts up at the entrance is a mystery to me.
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I have no idea what that might or might not mean.
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This lady is a gem.
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It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people.
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I will let this stand without comment.
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Flateyri is a small fishing village located on a narrow strip of land at the edge of the sea in the picturesque Westfjords, in northwest Iceland. The village of only 300 has been a trading post since 1792 and saw its heyday in the 19th century when it became a major whaling center and base for shark-hunting.

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The 2suit (alternately 2-Suit or twosuit) is a garment designed to facilitate effortless intimacy in the weightless environments such as outer space, or on planets with low gravity. The flight garment, invented by American novelist Vanna Bonta, was one of the subjects of Sex in Space, a 2008 History Channel television documentary about the biological and emotional implications of human migration and reproduction beyond Earth.The 2suit sparked international discussions in news and political debates as a metaphor for human colonization of space.
I think if we just left it to the two people involved, they would figure out a way to do it.
And just as a reminder...

If this is considered perfectly normal, then me screaming “Get tighter” should be also.
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PHOTOGRAPHY
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Old friend I hadn't seen in years: I started my own Law Firm last year.

Me: Well, it took 2 months, but I convinced my wife that Mount Rushmore was a natural formation.
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Interesting way to look at it.
Unfortunately, the northern states were some of the last to desegregate, and many of them are STILL segregated.
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Think Lemmings

Look, I understand men proving their masculinity. Women have helped us with it for…oh, ever.
But first and foremost, we need to prove our masculinity by providing a safe, financially secure, nurturing homes for our families.
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Lord of Tears, 1861
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Gave our gerbil a piece of kale from the garden. Now it's complaining about gluten and begging for its own little pair of Uggs.
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Oh, shit, Billy…
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Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog to placate them.
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This image terrifies me...

Her expression speaks volumes.
Maybe he is trying to prove his masculinity by dominating gaming rivals.

With virtual reality you can expect a lot more of this.


If these people had our technology, they would never have invented the wheel.

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When I see a self-help book at a secondhand store, I wonder...does that mean it worked, or it is bullshit?
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What a good idea.
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The only thing more shocking than finding water on planet Mars would be finding me in Planet Fitness.
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Haven’t posted one of these in a while.
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Me: Hi, is your resort child friendly?
Spokesman: Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation?

Me: hangs up
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Ben Carson's book includes this story.

This motherfucker trademarked the words Gifted Hands?!?!

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While your standard steak, chicken drumstick or pork chop is originally farmed from an animal that is killed for its meat, lab-grown meat* cuts out the animal completely and grows muscle cells extracted from the animal in the laboratory for a slaughter-free meal.
*I’ve often thought that the McDonalds fish sandwich was lab grown.
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The crew of the Apollo 10 mission to the moon were so startled when they encountered strange music-like radio transmissions coming through their headsets, they didn't know whether or not to report it to NASA, it's been revealed. The unexplained 'music' transmission lasted almost an hour, and just before the astronauts regained radio contact with Earth, they discussed whether or not to tell Mission Control what they had experienced.
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A woman just asked me to "unpark her car" and now I'm searching urban dictionary to see what I really just agreed to do.
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Meanwhile, in Australia…
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My friends are like "Hey come camping with us this weekend," and I'm like "I can't, I have to get new friends."
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I found this interesting.

Did you notice that weird white flash?
I think that was the camera catching the light from the projector that he is tracing. I’m not trying to disparage him, I do it all the time.
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The caption said this was
Da Vinci's genius in architecture
I don’t think it was my old friend Leo’s work, but it still leaves me in awe.
Now look how the “slice” of stone was used for the stair and the column.
My question: Do you think if you lived and/or worked in this building, that you would become inured to it’s awesomeness and just walk up them while reading a memo or whatever?

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They have had these for a while, but they were rather heavy and bulky, similar to the swim fins worn on the feet. The weight close to nothing.

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People are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
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Here’s some things I think are reposts. I’m an old man, cut me some slack.
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[beautiful bank teller gives my daughter a sucker]
Me: What do you say?
Daughter: My dad's single now, do you have money?
Me: smiles
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Stonework by Michael Eckerman.
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 [on first date with wife]
Her: When I'm with a handsome man I get all nervous & involuntarily start speaking French
Me: [leans across] Oh really?
Her: Yes
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If a turkey got murdered, the chalk outline would look like a giant preschooler's hand.
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