About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2664

One Of My Very Own…


ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 





I’ve been asked what I think the fall out will be over the leaked Panama Papers. I said that rich people do not hunger money. Rich people hunger power…I watched House of Cards. And power can repel as well as inflict damage. Therefore, nothing will happen.

Except for maybe Iceland, where just about the whole fucking country turned out to demand the PM’s resignation. We shall see.



….-<{o0O0o}>-….
A FEW REALLY GOOD IDEAS

Fireplace made from an old naval mine



They all know that the sea lions will get used to them pretty soon, but they only needed a few days to install rails that will solve the problem for good.


Some people think that arts and sciences are incompatible. The nuclear physicists and engineers at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, more commonly known as CERN, don't buy that, however. Located near Geneva, Switzerland, the research organization is home to the world’s largest particle accelerator. Soon, Smithsonian reports, CERN also hopes to have its own in-house artist.
[If only I was a young man again.]


Why aren’t there more of these in every city?


Several college stadiums are considering selling beer at football games. I don’t care how you feel about that, but please consider that the fat cats that can afford those sky boxes have always been able to drink. Let’s just make it fair, shall we.


It’s called Thrust Vectoring
And it allows a plane to do unimaginable things.


Can we all assume those green circles are cooler lids?


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You don’t have to be OCD to turn your neighbor’s toilet paper to the proper direction.

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This is probably true.


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Him: It says here you're very sarcastic?
Me: Actually it says sadistic.
Him: Why would you put that on a resume?

Me:  I was being sarcastic


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 Who would of thunk?

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Something to think about…

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1889, Deadwood Stagecoach. Two stages can actually be seen crossing an old bridge.
Look at those people! It looks like a modern Indian train.

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Imagine being so famous you get a standing ovation just for showing your face.

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What’s black and never works?

Decaf coffee you racist bastard.

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Shit happens…

It just happens a little faster to some people.

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The Whipping Post - this structure was one of the tools frequently used in many Southern states to torment and demean Black men publicly, but this lesson in history is one of significance. Every generation is given a paradigm to follow, can you imagine what these youngsters are learning on this particular day?


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That’s what happens when you put the naming rights on the internet.

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Dutch artists Lernert and Sander cut raw food into 98 perfect 2.5 x 2.5 x 2.5 cm cubes.
 


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Ever wake up in the morning and think, today I'm going to crush a watermelon with my thighs? 
Nah, me neither.

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Ringling Bros. Circus Once Actually Had A Freak Show
Now we call that Tuesday at Walmart.

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It must be true that opposites attract, cause I married someone who actually gets up and does stuff.

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But then you have mothers who if not in words then in deeds teach their daughters that their hair is not good enough without curlers. Nails are not good enough without polish. Their body hair is not good enough and must be shaved regularly. I could go on, but you get my point. 

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Jehovah's witness boot camp.

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Hyphenated.
Non-hyphenated.

The irony.

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How the cities line up right on the interstate.

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In my body where the shame gland should be, I have a fuck it gland instead.

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I may have posted this key designs before. If so, enjoy it again.
 
 

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My favorite part of Star Wars is when Darth Vader lost his shit and started choking a co-worker during a staff meeting.

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 And remember, some guy just made that rule up…out of thin air…for one reason. That reason was to keep the sons of Cardinals from inheriting his wealth. How very, very……pragmatic.

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How oddly satisfying.

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This would be me if my plane was kept on the tarmac for hours…

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At my age, my best fantasies include a French maid. She cleans the house while I nap.

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 I have stated often that if my child graduated from high school without trying marijuana, then I would be very worried about her.

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No body salutes properly…except this guy.
 Here’s the rules: Upper arm at 90 degrees from body. Now lay your lower arm on a table – fingers together, thumb abutting, wrist straight. Now lift that lower arm without it moving (as per the picture above.)


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Einstein@Home is a downloadable screensaver that does some serious scientific work while your computer chills out.

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After my first interview for my first teaching position, the principal asked if I had any questions. I asked, “Well, how seriously does your school take allegations of witchcraft?”

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 Believe it or not, I watched the very show on which he did that.

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That made me laugh out loud, but I’m easy like that. 

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 Physics at work…

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I don’t get it. Somebody help me.

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Holy Dislocation, Batman!

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One of these bad boys is going to get laid tonight.

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There are a few things we literally cannot live without. Oxygen is one. Another is food and water. And then there is sleep: forcibly keep an animal awake for long enough and you will kill it. The same almost certainly applies to humans. This fact alone tells us that sleep must be doing something pretty important. But despite decades of intense scientific study there still is no consensus on exactly what that something is.

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