About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, May 13, 2016

FRIDAY #2700

One Of My Very Own…


It being Friday, crank this bad boy up to start your weekend...



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com


Bernie - Close to 21,000 inside, and 10,000 who couldn't get in - Sacramento.



Because Bernie is for the non-batshit crazy voters...


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I'm still concerned about what's going on on college campuses...



But it's important to keep this in mind...



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This from Japan...



This from the same country that has a whole day to celebrate the male erection...



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Well, you know where I stand on this...






Oops! Maybe we shouldn't abandon a winning strategy just yet. The men get paid if they lose and they lose. The women only get paid if they win, and they win. Maybe there's a learning moment here, boys and girls.

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I watched the whole video on Youtube...



You can see the wild fire out the window.

I was most taken with the noise...it was awful.

But what concerned me was this picture...

The moment the smoke detectors went off.

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Signs of imminent doom...

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I can't remember if I told you about the Gas App that will bring a truck to you house or place of work to fill you car for a small charge. Think about that...never having to go to the gas station again.
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I almost lost a lot of money today. There is a golfer (I forget his name) who looks just like that weird-ass actor Joaquin Pheonix complete with the lip thing. My young law student friend said matter of factly that Joaquin did not have a lip problem. Well, bet numbers were thrown around until we did the research, and Joaquin has a very special kind of lip problem in which he was born with a scar and did not require post natal surgery. After some argument, we agreed the bet was a wash. Then he bet me I couldn't spell that scar cleft pallet thing we had discussed. I smelled a rat immediately and decline the bet. It is spelled "HARELIP", for obvious reasons.




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UBER: Sounds better than "Let's get in this strange man's car!"

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Most of my life consists of trying to keep up with what's not cool so I can be sure to avoid any small talk.

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My wife once asked me for my wildest fantacy. I said, "I'm on wheel of fortune and I spin it so hard it lights on fire and everyone claps."

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????

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The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.

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Battleship Beer Pong


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Wife and I camping: "Put your pants on, honey, you're scaring the reptiles!"
(I have no idea what that means.)

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Guy played the same part at 24 and 42-years-old.


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GENDER FLUIDITY





Which of these two people do you want in your son's bathroom?



Caught reassessing his life decisions...




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Kind of silly when you stop and think about it.



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My favorite part about fruit is when I run it under water for 3 seconds to convince myself it’s no longer covered in carcinogenic pesticides.

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How about you let him live his own life? Please.


That looks very much like my nephew, Jim, when he was young.



God I love children!


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How many virgins do I get from dying of embarrassment? Does anyone know?

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Most people try to imagine looking at the question in terms of this model...


But the coastlines are not smooth, they are jagged, so what is across the ocean from you changes.



A larger view...

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Omaha, Nebraska tornado. And nobody has a fuck to give.


I once told a bartender that if you see a tornado moving left or right, then don't move cause it will miss you. (I saw that on the weather channel). I think added that if it looked like it is not moving, then seek shelter cause it's coming right at you. The bartender said, well, it could be going away from you. And I pointed out that in that case it would have past right over you.

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The European Organization for Nuclear Research, or CERN, has been releasing portions of its research to the public for years. This week's massive 300 terabyte dump of Large Hadron Collider (LHC) data is the biggest yet by a long shot -- and it's all out there, open source, free for the exploration.

I sure wish they would do that with the data coming back from Voyager 1.

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I have never...ever lost a rap battle.

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This arrived in my inbox from Twitter:



And that is a real sales pitch from Twitter that arrives in my inbox every couple of days.

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A Harvard University survey found that among adults between 18 and 29 years of age, 51 percent "do not support capitalism."


42 percent support it, reports The Washington Post. A third say they support socialism as an alternative.

The survey is "difficult to interpret" due to the simplicity of choices and their lack of definition, say pollsters.

Capitalism can mean different things to different people, and the newest generation of voters is frustrated with the status quo, broadly speaking. All the same, that a majority of respondents in Harvard University's survey of young adults said they do not support capitalism suggests that today's youngest voters are more focused on the flaws of free markets.



But you see, it isn't free anymore. There are those that game the system, which is a perversion of the whole concept.

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Every clerk when a asshole costumer hits them with the "I'll never shop here again".

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Why do people say "Cannonball" when jumping into a pool, but no one says "I'm jumping into a pool" when firing a cannonball?

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What a remarkable tool.

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Submarine that never has to be refueled.

Reactor is good for its 30 years life expectancy or 1 million miles whichever comes fist. It makes it's own oxygen which means it can stay hovering in one spot for weeks. The weak link? Acquiring food for the humans aboard.

Suggestion: Watch "Impossible Engineering" on the Science Channel. Trust me. Humans are fucking awesome!

On a related note, there are those who are against nuclear power because it is too dangerous. This despite knowing that thousands have died mining coal. And if you are worried about what to do with the waste from nuclear, today there was this gem in my local newspaper. "Duke Power estimates it would take at least 18 years and nearly 1 million truck loads to haul away the 18 million tons of coal ash at just one of its power plants.

And coal ash is some nasty ass stuff.

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Let's close with penises, which are always fun...


I had to watch this a couple of times so pay attention...


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I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

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Well, that's good news. Right?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I did not play with dolls!
--Nephew Jim

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