About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

THURSDAY #2692

To help you along today...


One Of My Very Own…





ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



Meanwhile, in Canada...



We are in the process of perverting open thought in this country.






Who would think I would have something in common with the Taliban.






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Oh, my, god, GENDER IS FLUID?

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Shit you don't see every day...





Oh, and I wonder if China gives their companies who move to America a tax break. How screwed up is that?

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I can't look at this without thinking of the phone sex ladies ironing clothes with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth talking to some guy about how she just loves fisting by a strong man.



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My friend, Rupert, had a hot sauce business. This is not it, but his was very hot also.



He had four different hotnesses and the level of hotness was indicated by a little man leaning over with flames coming out his ass...the longer the flames, the hotter the sauce.

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Okay, we get it. Americans eat too much.



I don't even know how anyone would fit that in their mouths. But I may be immune. I do not over eat. I hate eating and have stated that if I could take one pill a day and never have to eat again, I would do it.

But I do have a beer gut.



But you have to wonder how many calories a day it takes to maintain this kind of obesity.



If you allow a pet to reach that level of overeating, animal control would take it away from you.



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Came across this image with this caption:

"One of the most classic-style graffiti writers of all time."



"Graffiti writers" is such a perfect term. Come to find out there are actual alphabets to assist you.




But, as previously stated, I don't understand how a person could do this sort of thing year after year without getting tired of it.



I'm about burned out on making little sculptures that tote, store or display one dollar bills, and I've only been at that for a few years...AND I have never seen anything similar in my life. Oh, there might be someone somewhere doing it, but as long as I don't know about them, they don't exist.

But graffiti writers are a dime a dozen. Where's the thrill of novelty, of invention, of...creativity?

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I found this very clever.
















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I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.

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Oh, hell yeah...



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A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

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I would have made a lousy science teacher...



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Hard. To. Beat.

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Communicating with bumper stickers...





Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it...you are an idiot.

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How long do you think it took him to learn to do this?



You think he puts that on his resume?

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How very, very true...



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Some people have way too much time on their hands.



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Parenting done right...



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I proofread a book for a published author one time. The story had a young woman in desperate straits who overcame her captors, then as she was running through the woods to get back home, she threw the captured gun in the river.
I went nuts, explaining that nobody in they right mind would do such a thing. He changed it so that to the gun was lost while crossing the river. I call that a small victory for sane plot development.

Then last night I'm watching a movie about a regional blackout and the mayhem that ensued and the one gun they had, this is what happened.



She said she "didn't like" guns.
Jeez.

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In 1938, Mihailo Tolotos died at age 82. He's considered to have been the only man to have lived such a long life "without ever seeing a woman." Tolotos, whose mother died at childbirth, lived all his years as a monk in one of Greece's Mt. Ethos monasteries where only men are permitted. Of course, Tolotos's claim to fame doesn't account for people who are blind since birth, but it's still a rather curious story anyway.



When asked on his death bed his final request, he smiled and said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

(I made that part up.)

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Language Things Again...




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You all know, or should know, about Saturn's hexagonal North pole.



This also happens on Earth, in the clouds.



You have to really look for them in that image. The best is in the center at the top. Anyway, some think they are evidence of a wind sheer event.

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All bars should have this policy.





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Albeit for legitamate reasons, once the whiny bastards got their way, the door was forever breached and we will be paying for this for decades. It's like putting the inmates in charge of the asylum.

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Just wait for it...



Just so you don't feel so stupid pulling your next boner.

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This is exactly what it's like when that first girl took off her bra for you.



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If you don't live near enough to one of these to get them hot, then you should move.



I take a dozen to my bar from time to time, and that is why they love me. As was predictable.

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Hell is a person making me watch a 10 minute Youtube video that they think is "hilarious."

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TRUE: Steve Spurrier has just explained why he quit as South Carolina's football coach in the middle of the season. Quote: "My give a damn was gone."

Brilliant.





Do I know the truth? Hell, no. That's why I have to keep looking under every rock in society's quarry. But I pretty much rule out magic, so...

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