About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, June 13, 2016

MONDAY #2731

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



Happy 83rd birthday you magnificent bastard.



Their game with Paraguay Saturday night was a very exciting ballgame.



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Ferrets are like if a cat and a scarf had a baby. 

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How could this even be possible?

You think they gave him another throw or just guestimated how far it went? And am I the only one who thought to ask that question?

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The Russians basically decided to drill as far into the planet as possible. For science.

They got down to 40,230 ft then just said, ah fuck it. Even science has its limits.

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On the inside, we're all Danny DeVito.

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I'm not saying my wife is losing it, but yesterday she sat on the toilet for six hours thinking she was on a bus to Walt Disney World.

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VERY CLOSE CALLS: Part LCVII




I tried to upload this gif a while back but it wouldn't work. This is the perfect illustration about the reason I don't voluntarily do dangerous shit.

Oh, hell no. What would his mother think?
You like risking your life? Join the fucking Marines!

This was another gif that didn't load. He has a cutting torch in his hand.


Roof (or floor) collapses down three stories...


Leaving him stranded...perched atop an I-beam.

I have no idea how they extricated him.

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Shoes my wife owns: 68
Shoes she wears: 4
Shoes she's willing to give up: 0 

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I thought that extremely funny...but maybe that's just me.

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In the future the only two jobs left are Uber driver and escape room planner. 

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HUMOR IN REAL LIFE





That's the T-shirt the doctor hands out after a vasectomy.

Speaking of...

I thought that very thought provoking. I mean, what would you do?

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The older I get, the more I feel like the town elders in Footloose actually had a pretty good idea.

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And today on Girls Gone Stupid


And now, Boys Gone Stupid...

Believe it or not, this drunk motherfucker can't get past his reflexion in the mirror down the reflexed aisle.

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Let's take another look at this cool ass idea.

A bus that rides above traffic. I was informed that this is just a model, but as I understand it, that thing is in production. A guy (a parking lot designer) who has been following this thing's development thinks it's weak link is trusting all those drivers not to do anything stupid. What kind of odds would you put on that?

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I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.

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I've reached the age where falling asleep on the couch has nothing to do with coming home drunk. Sad, that.

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This is disgusting!

This is just beyond disgusting and disturbing. It is so sad America accepts this sinful behavior. This country has come so far from what God intended! I am so sick of the minority pushing their lifestyle on the majority! It's time to take a stand for what's right!! Toilet paper goes OVER!

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If the camera adds 10 pounds, do African kids even exist? 

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Sorry to repost this so many times, but I think it goddamn hilarious.

It reminds me of how my wife sleeps.

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My wife asked me where I'm taking her for our anniversary. "From behind" was not the correct answer. 

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In every woman's life there is a moment when she must decide whether she is going to be Dorothy or the witch.

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Said to be true...
 

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The amount of time you spend cleaning your house before a friend comes over is inversely proportional to the quality of that friendship.

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Antarctica from polar orbiter.


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I would hate being the walking dead.
I am so lazy I would be the driving dead or just the bus riding dead would do.
 

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On April 28th of this year, the Supreme Court approved a rule change that has gone mostly unnoticed and unreported but has massive implications for the free and open internet. The Supreme Court has ruled that using the anonymous Tor browser is grounds to issue a search and seizure warrant. When this new rule change goes into effect in December, if the government finds that someone they are looking into is using the TOR browser, they will then be able to search the computer remotely. The rule change says that the government doesn’t even have to know where the computer is, just so long as they are using the TOR browser.

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US Navy plane gets tagged after landing on the wrong carrier.


Did you ever think that refueling was rather cut and dried by now? Well, pay attention...







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We all need to learn the difference between "offended by" and "disagree with."

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PEOPLE DOING THINGS ON THE COMPUTER TO MAKE US SMILE





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After he loses, everyone who supported Trump should have to spend a year on an island where he gets to make all the decisions.

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I bet this is harder than it looks...


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"Pizzas must be circular. They must be cut into triangles and put into square boxes."
  - Science 

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Why not call baby pigs "hamlets" ? 

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