About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

SUNDAY #2737

One Of My Very Own…


Funny how the results were left out of the U.S. news stream, but the polls did ask 66,000 people across 65 nations what they believed was the biggest threat to world peace and over Pakistan, China, and even North Korea, AMERICA won the prize.
Now one might wonder how biased was this poll? Like was it only the Middle East, Russia, and China shit talking Americans? Nope. Mexico and Canada showed even higher numbers in a lack of trust in the U.S.. Pretty much every country we ever screwed over had their say and as much as I want to laugh at this news, I have no counter argument. All I can really do is stand witness and nod in agreement.

Some of those Orlando parents found out their sons were dead and that they were gay at the same time.

How bad were the floods in Texas?

What you allow to effect you is not in your control.

Officials in India have "arrested" 18 lions as they try to find a man eater suspected of killing three people. Forest officials in Gujarat state will test the lions' prints and excrement in an attempt to identify the killer. The "guilty lion" will be kept in a zoo for life while the others will be released back into the sanctuary.
So the US media ignores this so you don't give a shit. One kid is snatched by an alligator and you flip out.

Watched a movie that was worth my time: "The Fear of Thirteen."


Me: But God, where did the second set of footprints go? 
God: That's when you were dating that psycho. I wasn't sticking around for that.


How cute.

I could puke at their fadism.

You want to photograph a meal? Photograph one you made yourself.

I can close my eyes and smell that.

This is a rock with a label on it...

And this is the image accompanying the article...

Back when form did not necessarily follow function...

Deep see suits through the decades...








I was impressed because all the designs have so many similarities. It is like the original design wasn't reinvented, but just tweaked.

Fucking Americans...

Lifeguard taking quick action...

I was once a lifeguard and was taught that panic slaps look much like play. Also you should approach the drowning person from underwater where you turn them around so their back is to you. In their desperate attempt not to survive, victims often throw their arms and legs around their rescuer, rendering him/her unable to swim.

This man's fishing game is strong...

And fish raised on pellets never learn to eat insects. I've seen them as thick as the ones above at feeding time with dozens of live crickets swimming around them.

In Global, proliferation of cephalopods a paper in Current Biology, an esteemed group of marine biologists reports that the population of octopuses (and other cephalopods) is booming thanks to its ability to adapt quickly to ocean acidification and temperature change, which is killing off other types of marine life at alarming rates.

Jesus sits down at the bar: "The boss says we have to start charging you for water."

12th Century Crusaders Grave

If he had been killed in action they probably only shipped his bones back to his home; sometimes only his scull.

We have these in our neighborhood. We also have a flea infestation under our house.

There is much public grumbling to have them caught and relocated. Other citizens LIKE them and some even feed them on regular appearances.

Casting of a woman's vagina -

Sorry no banana for scale.

4,500yrs ago men would wake up everyday to build the great pyramid. I got up this morning with anxiety about unloading the dishwasher.


My wife trying out as a sex phone service:
"So, what are you wearing?"
"A tie-dry blouse and a Goodwill sweater. Sensible shoes."


A guy moved out of a rental house that he shared with a couple of other guys. Three years later the guys opened an access door to a water valve and found this.

When the remaining renters called him he said, "So you finally found my hidden 'stache."
Yes, he had waited three years for that gag.

I would not doubt this from being true.

And you know what's sad about this?

We all know it's true yet feel powerless to stop it.

Worst case of road rage I have ever seen...


Whistleblower Brad Birkenfeld is as neat a case study in financial corruption as you could ask for: Birkenfeld's disclosures detailed 19,000 US tax evaders, including the bank's super-secretive list of "politically exposed persons," including people who laundered money for terrorists, and the US government threw him in prison (as well as paying him the largest reward in US history), declined to prosecute three quarters of those implicated, and then put him in prison.

Showed my wife my fortune and she immediately said, "No."

The Soviets actually did this thing. They head was kept alive for a while.

And the first thing it said was, "Where are my testicles, comrade?"
(I made that up.)


I read that when filming Braveheart with so many extras, they had to reshoot many scenes due to the same problem, plus sunglasses.


Question: He is just part of an act like our wrestling or is this really a competition?

Falcon 9 landing from fucking space -onboard camera -

Speeded up this is much more impressive.
As I understand it, this rocket delivered two satellites but was unsuccessful in returning safely.

This is why, when waiting to turn left, you keep your wheels straight.

Also, if you know the airbag is coming out, you are supposed to place your hands in your lap. Gripping the steering wheel tightly can result in broken arms.

I will never not want to watch this sort of thing.

Good deed going bad...

I call bullshit. He didn't start shaking until he was handed the beer.

Don't you wish you liked your job this much?

In a submarine battle you can be under fire, underwater, on fire and taking on water at the same time.


And they all have an agenda.

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