About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

THURSDAY #2740

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com






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Oral Sex: If she doesn't look like a demon is being exorcised from her body, you're doing it wrong.


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Rick Blood in his work uniform at the family’s business, the slaughterhouse Blood Farm.

How appropriate.

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Me: Pluto wasn't even a planet for a full year on Pluto.
Wife:
Me: Do you ever think about that?
Wife:
Me: No?
Wife:
Me:
Wife:
Me: You only think about yourself, don't you?

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Sergeant Thomas Block was severely wounded and lost his right eye in a suicide bombing in Afghanistan.
(you might want to look at that carefully)

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The Chinese people must think we are insane.

His ancestors might have worked on those terracotta buried warriors.

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"I like Trump because he isn't a politician."
Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician.

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Oliver Smoot, MIT Class of 62, recreated his famous Smoot measurement of the Mass. Ave. bridge with classmate Peter Miller marking each body length.


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I wish they'd just come up with a smoke detector that stops beeping when I yell "It's just her cooking!"

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Thinking of having a baby? Prepare yourself.


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Social media allows you to review all your mistakes in chronological order...with pictures.

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This is the 'Don't mess with my beer' move.

Here to offer excellent advice folks, no need to thank me.

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My wife went into Eckerd's and asked where the beauty cream was and security escorted her out.

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Mars

If that doesn't give you a hard-on, you need to get yourself right.

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There is a mile long line of cars stopped ahead of us, but my wife goes ahead and honks at the guy in front of us. Says, "It might help."

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I'm not a vegan, but I tell everyone that I am. My neighbor who hates me anonymously sends me a meat-lovers pizza from time to time in an attempt to piss me off.

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2,000 year old Olive tree in Greece.

I takes a long, long time for an olive tree to bare fruit. When Israel wants land, the first thing it does is bulldoze the orchards.

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Guess who this is.

Bill Murray in Rock the Kasbah. It was an alright movie based on the true story of Setara Hussainzada who dared to sing on TV in Afghanistan.

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A very clever man offers his two cents worth:










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One of the top five problems of living on Mars is that there will be no spare parts. I wonder why they wouldn't use one of these...


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Graveyards would be a lot more scary if all the tombstones were shaped like shark fins. 

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I told my wife, Deeby, that when Starbucks misspells your name, that's legally your new name, and she believed me.

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We all do that, don't we?

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It took only 6 hours to move the old bridge into a temporary roadway while a new bridge is being built.

So that traffic flow continues during construction...great idea.

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Red Sox David Ortiz hugged Astros second baseman Jose Altuve at second base after Ortiz hit a double on May 12.


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Just found all my rant letters to George Bush my wife "promised" she mailed stuffed behind the couch.
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Claude Monet

That look on his face tells us a lot.

A way to remember Monet from Manet, think of the O as a water lily.

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Trigger warning ⚠


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It's all fun and games until you realize you're the guy at work known as "How is he still employed?"
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I don't really give a shit, but be forewarned that your service will be sub-par.

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You know how I feel about fountains...


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How awful.

Proof that there is no god.

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More Suicidal Bunny




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How do animals in children's books always have nicer houses than mine when they don't even have jobs?
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Is that a soldering iron?

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Bird with golf ball...

I think it thinks that is an egg.

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Let's take another look at this...


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HILLARY (reading from teleprompter): Mr. Trump, (voice steadily rising) Adobe Reader is ready to update.
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You might want to be very careful about how you answer that.

2 comments:

Ninja Grrrl said...

What does the look on Monet's face tell you? I am very curious to know what you see.

Ralph Henry said...

Monet: To me (and I may be self-imprinting here) his looks to the camera says: "Hurry up I got shit to do."

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