About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2739

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



"Get yo' ass up!"

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Me: I want to do unspeakable things to you.
Wife: Tell me...
Me: Do you even know what unspeakable means?


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Oh, look, there's Linda on Concourse B...


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This hit very close to home...

On a mural site, I was once being interviewed for TV and the lady said something like "You are so lucky to do something you love for a living." I smiled and said, "Here's my relationship with my murals. Every day the mural tries everything it can to make me look stupid and I have to fight very hard to keep it from doing that."

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Here's the caption: "I work maintenance at a school. I taped this to the teachers lounge computer desk over a year ago for no reason."

He and I ought to have a beer sometime.

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The Australian government hired research agency GfK to find the most unappealing color possible to print on cigarette packs. Seven studies later, researchers found that sewage-colored was surprisingly enough, the most offensive hue, beating out shades such as lime green, dark gray, mustard, beige, and dark brown.

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I haven't post this in a long time. It still made me smile...



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Well, it didn't take long for someone to take this to the next level...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I wonder how many people have traveled on a road featuring a sign like this.

I have. And once I was stopped by a roadblock manned by an MP. I sat in my truck for several long minutes and then I got out to ask why I was being stopped. Before I could say a word I felt it. There was a very powerful, dramatic vibration under my feet...like when the T-Rex approached in Jurassic Park. Then a whole column of M1A1 tanks sped across the road at about 40 mph. And there were about 50 of them. I remember thinking how grateful I was that they were on my is side.

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See anything odd about this photo? Look very carefootly...


How about now?

She has two right feet. Why did they have to do that?

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Fun Fact: If someone’s car alarm keeps going off, you’re legally obligated to set the car on fire.


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This is a sunset on Mars.

The amount of effort, science, hope, manpower, time, EVERYTHING that went into capturing that image is beyond my comprehension.

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Meanwhile on Concourse B...


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A camera that can detect individual photons is able to track objects moving around corners, even when they are completely obscured from view. The device could be used for search-and-rescue missions, or installed on cars to detect incoming vehicles.

This is kind of hard to explain, so you might want to look up the Youtube.

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Can you name the movie when given 3 words about the movie that can't be from the title or actor/director/character names?

I had a whole bunch of fun with that.

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Perfect illustration of how they did it.

They had a 1/10th model that had a rod situated atop it just as can be seen in the upper left. Then they would drop a string down and measure the model, and say the nose was 5 inches from the string, then the mountain would be carved away at 50 inches.

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HEADLINES OF INTEREST...TO ME ANYWAY:









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One bad LSD trip in high school and here I am 55 years later still sexually attracted to Howdy Doody.
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Tried to watch a movie called World Trade Center. It quickly deteriorated into some hocus-pocus bullshit.



And it starred Nick Cage.

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SOME PRETTY DAMN GOOD ADVICE






I watched a documentary about that very thing and it is absolutely true. It may stem from the fact that your eyes and ears take in far too much information to bring to your attention, but it will still make you uneasy when a threat is detected.


It is much easier to ignore a cry for help when rationalizing that someone else will do it. When you are identified, it is very hard to ignore.

And this...


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GOD: My new creation, man, needs air to live.
ANGEL: Done.
G: And food.
A: Ok
G: But use the same hole for air and food so they die sometimes in front of their friends and family.


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Acting like you are asleep to get him to leave you alone doesn't work on cops who pull you over on the interstate. My wife knows that now.


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HOLY SHIT!

That's why the pit crew wears helmets.

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Damn, Linda, get it together.

Question: How did she get so far up the ramp if she never moves? Odd, that.

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My neighbor is an elementary school art teacher and this is one of her student's work. He is 10 years old.


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The couple from the Woodstock album cover are still together 46 years later.


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Named my daughters' hamster Spam so when he died I could bury him in a little tin coffin with his name on it. 


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Rather self-explanatory...


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This sumbitch is good...

How could anyone NOT take that dog home?

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How to put a whole rail crew, except for two, out of work with one machine...


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Me: I can't believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong.
Gid: You idiots couldn't even get my Giddamn name right.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your neighbor's art student is someone who should be watched and given every opportunity to flourish, even if what they ultimately choose to do isn't art related. That is a natural talent that very well could manifest itself in some other field that will be equally awe inspiring. Wow. Just wow.

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