About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

THURSDAY #2754

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



Read the bizarre Olympic Committee demands that led Oslo to pull out of the 2022 hosting race:

• They demand to meet the king prior to the opening ceremony. Afterwards, there shall be a cocktail reception. Drinks shall be paid for by the Royal Palace or the local organizing committee.

• Separate lanes should be created on all roads where IOC members will travel, which are not to be used by regular people or public transportation.

• A welcome greeting from the local Olympic boss and the hotel manager should be presented in IOC members' rooms, along with fruit and cakes of the season. (Seasonal fruit in Oslo in February is a challenge ...)

• The hotel bar at their hotel should extend its hours “extra late” and the minibars must stock Coke products.

• The IOC president shall be welcomed ceremoniously on the runway when he arrives.

• The IOC members should have separate entrances and exits to and from the airport.

• During the opening and closing ceremonies a fully stocked bar shall be available. During competition days, wine and beer will do at the stadium lounge.

• IOC members shall be greeted with a smile when arriving at their hotel.

• Meeting rooms shall be kept at exactly 20 degrees Celsius at all times.

• The hot food offered in the lounges at venues should be replaced at regular intervals, as IOC members might “risk” having to eat several meals at the same lounge during the Olympics.

I'm one of the guys who wants to build a permanent Olympics site in Greece where all games will be held. The world could help fund it.

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Who the fuck braids the Predator's hair?

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That is remarkable. They even included the knees.

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Wild fires do this...

As I understand it, the creosote preservative is highly flammable.

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You think this hair shade just happened?

Or do you think she had a dye job to match?

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I'm sorry, but I live in the South and I still think pine trees are ugly.

When I bought my house, one of the first things I did was have the pines removed.

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When life gives you water, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, lemon juice concentrate, gum Arabic, and yellow 5, make lemonade.

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PHOTOGRAPHY



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Army Specialist was denied leave to go to a baby shower because his CO said "Men don't go to baby showers", so he changed his reason.



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I thought of sending this to a friend of mine who is a climate change skeptic, but I know his response will be that the changes reflect 1) instrumentation error and 2) normal cyclic variation. Alas.

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In my house a half-hour begging counts as foreplay.

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The article stated, "Humanity may very well be contacted within our species’ lifespan. "
They said that all our signals, since signals started have only gone a measly 80 light years and considering the size of just our solar system, the smart money is on a long, long haul before anything can be expected.

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This Stimson’s Python somehow managed to shed its skin completely within itself. The tail, oddly enough, finished shedding inside the mouth of the snake, forming a perfect circle that unfortunately trapped the snake inside of its old skin.

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My job of choice would be driving the karma bus...or cement truck.


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Back in the good old days...



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Headline read:
"Woman robbed man while performing oral sex on him in his car."

The key word there, of course, is "While."
And just because I KNOW you want to know what such a person looks like, here she is...

Not to be crude, but if you can't trust the woman with your dick in her mouth, who the hell can you trust?

Here's another less dramatic headline:


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How to know Europeans aren't like us...


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So it has come to this...


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The region's soaring housing prices are a key factor driving dissatisfied residents toward the exit door. Several people who have departed, or soon will leave, say they potentially could have hundreds of thousands of dollars left over even after buying a house in their new locations.

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If the US tax code were a street sign...only the rich parked free.


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Researchers found that people perform better in intelligence tests merely expecting brain-training games to help them.

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Remember the young woman I posted several days ago that had multiple eyes, etc painted on her? She does other stuff, too...


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I'm just not convinced that banning the sale of sentient death robots decreases deaths. The research just isn't there.

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"After last week's scare with Jeremy, the new first rule of Fight Club is absolutely no peanuts or snacks containing peanuts."

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The Gryp is a keychain fob for people who want a barrier of silicone between them and the world. You can use it to open doors, flush toilets, push elevator buttons, hold bus handles, turn on lights, etc.
Is that really necessary?

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Another bipedal bear spotted in NJ


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It has become more energy-efficient to drive with my middle finger up at all times, taking it down only when people drive well. 

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That's like art. The great ones expand what is art to include something else. It really is that simple.
By the way, my young chemistry friend just got accepted into the doctoral program.

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Stupid snake hits its head in a glass door.

Or not. Probably just got tired of sitting inside that microwave all day.

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Turning money into....dirt.

I could make art out of that, I'm sure of it.

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Oh, this is crazy but your religion isn't? You people LOST the stone tablets that Moses carved. More amazing to me was that nobody thought to save the fragments of the tablets carved by god....BY GOD!

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